Caption Fridays Volume Seven...

Caption Fridays disappeared for a while because I sort of ran out of pictures.  I don't get to go to games now that I'm not based in Detroit, so my stash was running low.  Luckily, I got to go to a game when I was home for Thanksgiving, and our seats were perfectly positioned for me to get some good caption fodder shots.  This one is my favorite:

Red Wings vs. Coyotes GP...

Red Wings: 16-9-1

Coyotes: 15-9-3

Season Series: 0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Thoughts on the Realignment...

Now that I've finally had a chance to look at the realignment plans, I'm developing a deep sense of confusion. I actually feel like the NHL might've done something right. That doesn't happen very often, so it's going to take me a while to get used to that fact. It's not exactly what I would've drawn up in a perfect world, but it's a heck of a lot better than the current system. At least for the Wings and Columbus. It doesn't seem like it affects other teams nearly as much.

(Sidenote: All of these news articles are describing the decision as “radical.” Is it really that radical? The new Conferences don't deviate a whole lot from the way things are now.)

I think the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the Florida teams are grouped together with the northern teams in the East. It just doesn't make sense to me, and things like that tend to annoy me forever. Also, through my Wings-fan goggles, it seems an awful lot like pandering to teams like Pittsburgh, Philly, and Washington. On that note, funny how the coddled little Eastern teams ended up in the smaller divisions, eh?

I'm also not super excited about having to see the same old boring Central Division teams over and over again, but that has a lot to do with the current quality of competition. A couple of years down the road, those teams could change a lot and make life interesting. Well, maybe not Columbus, but you get the idea.

Mostly though, I like the fact that the Wings' travel is going to be cut down significantly. This makes the biggest difference in the playoffs. I've said for years that there would be at least two extra Stanley Cup banners hanging in the rafters from the last decade if the Wings had been in the Eastern Conference. Think about how much easier all of those long playoff runs would've been if they hadn't included multiple trips to the west coast. I've always secretly enjoyed the west coast roadtrips because I like staying up for the late games, but I recognize that I'm kind of strange in that sense.

I think my favorite part of the plan is the potential reseeding after the second round of the playoffs. It opens up a whole array of Finals match-ups that could never happen in the current format. Imagine if the Wings had been able to face the Avs in the Stanley Cup Finals during the rivalry years when they were the league's two best teams by a mile. Imagine the possibility of a “Subway Series” with the Rangers and Islanders matched up in the Finals. (That one was a joke, ok?) The league's top two teams should have the ability to play for the Cup in the Finals, even if they both happen to be from the same Conference.

Red Wings vs. Blues GP...

Red Wings: 16-8-1

Blues: 14-9-3

Season Series: 0-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

This will never, ever get old.

Red Wings vs. Avalanche GP...

Red Wings: 16-7-1

Avalanche: 12-13-1

Season Series: 2-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Sabres GP...

Red Wings: 15-7-1

Sabres: 13-10-1

Season Series: 0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Complete with Stevie fighting and goalies throwing punches.

Red Wings vs. Lightning GP...

Red Wings: 14-7-1

Lightning: 11-10-2

Season Series: 0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

This is, indeed, a thing on the internet.  You're welcome.

Red Wings vs. Ducks GP...

Red Wings: 10-7-1

Ducks: 6-9-4

Season Series: 1-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Kings GP...

Red Wings: 9-7-1

Kings: 10-6-3

Season Series: 0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings 2, Sharks 5: Post Game Snipes...

• Sure, most of the game looked like a trainwreck on skates, but, hey, the Wings scored TWO powerplay goals. I guess that's a good sign.
• This one hurt because things looked so good for most of the first period. The Wings looked great until that shorthanded goal at the end.
• After San Jose got on the board, the Wings pretty much completely shut down and went through the motions until the very end of the game.
• Their too little, too late push toward the end was encouraging, but not nearly enough to overcome the hole they dug for themselves.
• I miss the good old days when this blog's namesakes would do things like snipe and dangle. I want my Eurotwins magic back.
• Why does Larry Murphy not have a reality show?
• Brendan Smith looked pretty good in his NHL debut. He made some mistakes, but he didn't look horribly out of place. That's not too shabby for a rookie defenseman.

Red Wings vs. Sharks GP...

Red Wings: 9-6-1

Sharks: 9-5-1

Season Series: 0-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Blues GP...

Red Wings: 9-5-1

Blues: 8-7-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings 5, Stars 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I'm a little bit rusty here. It's been so long since I got to watch a Wings game that I had to re-teach myself the concept of icing during the first period.
• In one play during the third period, Ian White blocked a shot with his face,and then Henrik Zetterberg made a kick save on the goal line to keep the puck out of the net. White ended up with several stitches and a hospital visit out of the deal.
• Wouldn't it be nice if Fil's and Franzen played the way they've been playing all the time?
• Win five, lose six, win four. Nobody can accuse the Wings of not being streaky.
• For a while there, I thought last night was going to be one of those games where the Wings fire 100 shots at a no-name backup goalie and make him look like an All-Star starter. Obviously, they figured things out in the end, though.
• The broadcast had several nice tributes to Mickey Redmond. He deserves all of them. I sure do love that flannel-wearing, ginger-ale-drinking, bingo-bango-saying, composite-stick-hating guy. He's one of a kind.
• I particularly enjoyed Homer's analysis of the goal that was originally credited to him before being switched to Kronner. I also enjoyed the fact that he told Murph that the goal didn't go in off of him, but asked him to do him a solid and say it did anyway.
• Kindl got into a fight at the end of the game. I like the effort, but he didn't really do so well.

Caption Fridays (Er...Saturday) Volume Six...

Observant readers may have noticed that this is, in fact, not Friday.  We're just going to pretend that I didn't choose to work late, take a nap, and go to a Christmas party at the Magic Kingdom dressed as Mickey Redmond in drag instead of writing this post last night.

Last week we had an anonymous winner:

"Danny, this guy won't quit staring at me grinning, it's creepin' me out!"

"I know just don't make eye contact."

This week's picture:

Red Wings vs. Stars GP...

Red Wings: 8-5-1

Stars: 11-4-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Oilers GP...

Red Wings: 7-5-1

Oilers: 9-4-2

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Avalanche GP...

Red Wings: 6-5-1

Avalanche: 7-6-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Ducks GP...

Red Wings: 5-5-1

Ducks: 5-5-3

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Caption Fridays Volume Five...

This week's winning caption comes from one of my favorites, Mr. Stabbityjones.

Stuart: "I warned you Abby. If you eat all of your Halloween candy in one sitting, you're going to get a tummy-ache."

Here's another picture from Sara Neuie to caption:

Red Wings vs. Flames GP...

Red Wings: 5-4-1

Flames: 4-5-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

This is always worth revisiting.

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Wild GP...

Red Wings: 5-4-0

Wild: 4-3-3

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Wild GP...

Red Wings: 5-3-0

Wild: 3-3-3

Red Wing Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Caption Fridays Volume Four...

We had another anonymous winner this week.

"Hmmmm...I could do that move Pavel just did."

This week's picture to caption comes from Sara Neuie of A Neuie Perspective.  Caption away, and please do make sure to check out her other photography on her blog.

Red Wings vs. Sharks GP...

Red Wings: 5-2-0

Sharks: 4-3-0

Red Wing Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 5-1-0

Blue Jackets: 0-7-1

Red Wing Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Capitals GP...

Red Wings: 5-0-0

Capitals: 6-0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Caption Fridays Volume Three...

Someone named "Anonymous" (That's an odd name.  I think it might be French.) won this week's caption contest:

"Why do I always have to sit with the defensemen?"

There's also a hilarious, not family-friendly caption in the comments of the original post from another anonymous person.

Here's this week's picture.  Caption away!

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 4-0-0

Blue Jackets: 0-5-1

Red Wings Zen: 

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

How to Craft a Red Wings-Tigers T-shirt Blanket...

Last summer, I decided to undertake the most epic craft project I've ever done. I made a giant, over-sized t-shirt blanket with Wings shirts on one side and Tigers shirts on the other. It's now one of my most prized possessions of all time. As promised (you know, a year ago...), here's a step-by-step account on how I created this super-comfy tribute to my two favorite sports teams.

First of all, I spent the better part of three months scouring local Salvation Army stores (They really should have a frequent shopper rewards program) for t-shirts (Obviously I did other things during those three months, too.). I came across lots of random things during my search, like oddly titled records, *NSYNC bobbleheads, Han Solo cutouts with beach hats, some incredibly awesome money pants, and some really hideous shirts from the '90s. Originally, I was only on the hunt for Wings ones, as I was planning on covering the back with soft denim as I had done on previous blankets. However, while I was t-shirt hunting, I kept coming across tons and tons of Tigers ones, and I had the brilliant idea to put the Tigs on the back. Naturally, as soon as I started hunting for Tigers shirts, I was unable to find any, but that's another story. I visited at least ten different Salvos multiple times during the summer, picking up a few shirts here and a few there for a dollar or so each. Eventually I had all the t-shirts I needed, plus a few extras, and it was time to get going.

First I created a template out of some yarn-weaving plastic.  (I'm sure this stuff has a specific name, but I've never bothered to find out what it is.)  I wanted the regular squares to be 12 inches x 12 inches, plus 5/8 inch seam allowance. I also made a half-sized template to pair up shirts with skinnier logos into one larger square.

This laundry basket full of shirts was waiting to be cut down to size with those templates.

But first, I had to make a bar graph out of Tigers shirts. Not really. I was counting how many I had of each color so that I could make a perfect, checker-board style mixture of colors on the blanket.

I also made a pile of Wings t-shirts.

My dog, Penny, decided to help me out. By laying in the middle of the pile.  She's really helpful to have around the house.

I made a rough layout of the Wings side of the blanket first.

I had a secret fantasy of burying myself in the pile of Wings shirts. So I did.

After that, I laid out the Tigers side.

Penny liked my layout so much that she laid down in the middle of it. Like I said...helpful.

Not all of the shirts that I bought made it into the blanket. Example: this one. See if you can figure out why.

I also made a hard copy of my layout, complete with secret codes that only I could understand, really bad sketches, and atrocious handwriting.

Next, I had to trace the template onto all of the t-shirts. This was tedious. This shirt had a little logo in the corner, so I had to piece it together with panels from the rest of the shirt in order to center it.

This one had an extra-long screen print, so I added the small template to the regular template so I didn't have to cut any of it off.

Tracing things is more tedious than it sounds.

This is what happens to your hands when you trace washable marker all over cloth and plastic.

Then it was finally time to cut my first t-shirt. I started with the panels that needed extra work. I chose to start with this one since it was the only vertically split panel.  I don't really know why there is an Olympic Cabbage Patch Kid there. I remember owning it in the mid-'90s, but I can't figure out what it was doing on my kitchen table last summer. Same goes for the Play-Doh. Anyway...

Freed from Crosby!

Next up was the Pudge Rodriguez sort-of jersey that I picked up for a couple dollars when I was planning on using a jersey as a centerpiece for each side. I couldn't bring myself to cut up the spare Wings jersey I'd bought though, so I gave it to my brother and scrapped that idea. This one just became a panel. I cut the back open and pinned the front together. Then I ran it (extremely slowly) through the sewing machine so that I could follow the seams as closely as possible to make sure that it couldn't be unbuttoned. I also added a scrap of white fabric from another t-shirt around the collar to fill in the gap and make it into a square. This is one of my favorite parts of the blanket.

Since Penny was clearly so excited about the project, we thought she'd love to wear this mini Tigers shirt that wasn't going to make it into the final product.

Then my little brother decided to see if he could put on all 69 of the shirts at the same time. He usually has a neck.

These were the scraps of the shirts that I cut up.  I wish I could've found a way to reuse them for another project, but there aren't a whole lot of uses for t-shirts with only a back and sleeves.

The shirts are all stacked neatly in the order in which they'll eventually be sewn together.

Time to iron on the interfacing! Interfacing is the difference between a decent t-shirt blanket and a great t-shirt blanket. It helps the shirts keep their shapes and prevents them from stretching.

The only downfall of interfacing?  You have to go back and cut out all of the panels AGAIN.

Then, at long last, it was time to start sewing. I started with the Eurotwins panel. The Datsyuk half was the only one of the shirts that wasn't a thrift store purchase. I'd gotten it as a gift from my parents in high school. It was a hard decision to cut it up, but I really wanted something to pair with the Zetterberg one.  Luckily, I came across a Datsyuk shirsey at a Salvo near Metamora along the way, so I didn't really lose anything.

Then I went to work on the rest of the Wings side, putting each column together individually.

Then I sewed the columns together. This is the Wings side (obviously).  I've got shirts from all four of the most recent Stanley Cups, as well as one from the '95 playoffs.  The oldest one is the big black one right in the middle of the blanket, which dates all the way back to 1991.

And the Tigers side.  It's a little less illustrious because, well, you know what the last 25 years have been like.  I've got a couple from the '06 World Series, and one that dates back to 1993.  My favorite parts are the shirts for Tiger Stadium, Briggs Stadium, and Comerica Park.  Cutting up the Briggs one kind of killed me because it was so soft and comfy.  I also love the panel with four logos in it.

I lined the inside with a layer of plain fleece. I also used a permanent marker to write important things like championships, retired numbers, and milestones on the backs of some of the shirts. They're a nice, secret little thing hidden inside the blanket just for me (Except for the one Tigers panel where some of my writing bled through to the front). There may also be a tiny scrap of my tinfoil hat from H2H in there. Maybe.

I put a lot of hours into this, and it truly was a labor of love.  My hometown teams are never far from my heart, even here in the sports wasteland known as Florida.