Flying Referees and Fun With Shapes...

Apparently I’m not the only one whose mind has been wandering during these summer doldrums. Extreme boredom is the only possible explanation for some of the suggestions made by Jim Kelley here. Curving the blue lines? Really? I suppose that in theory there’s an upside to that, but even if we overlook the fact that it would be extremely difficult for the linesmen to judge offsides, it would look absurd on the ice surface. Seriously, between the faceoff circles, the assorted lines, and the trapezoid, if they add any more shapes, the ice surface is going to look like my little sister’s geometry textbook vomited on it. You'd have to bring a protractor to the game with you just to be able to follow along.

Another fun proposition was having the second referee sit between the benches to make calls from behind the play. This would apparently give him a better view of the ice and have the added benefit of clearing up some space on the ice. Personally, I think that if we’re going to take a ref off of the ice surface to give him a more omniscient view, we should harness him up like Beyonce here and have him fly along above the play. If nothing else, seeing him soar around will provide some entertainment to fans who are forced to watch Jacques Lemaire’s trap suck the soul out of the game. Not to mention the fact that according to this video, the Staples center is already equipped for that kind of thing, so the Kings already have a head start.

There was also discussion of allowing the higher seeded team in each playoff series to choose the home/away schedule for each round. This would presumably allow them to make a travel schedule that suits their needs best. Kelley also adds that, “it certainly would heighten interest with the fan bases in both cities as there would be endless debates regarding which way to go, even more so if it appears the wrong choices were made.” Because, clearly, as hockey fans, we need more to stress about during the playoffs.

Can it please be October already?