Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hockey is My Boyfriend...

Ever had a relationship irreparably damaged by your addiction to the Red Wings? Or, like my brother, do you suffer from a man-crush on Johan Franzen that is so consuming that it prevents you from having a real relationship? Maybe you had a girlfriend/boyfriend dump you because they couldn’t stand to hear you complain that the trap was ruining the sport for one more second. Or maybe they were too embarrassed to go out in public with you because you would impulsively scream things like, “HASEK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET BACK IN YOUR NET,” or “BAAAAACCCCKKKKCHECCCCKKKKKKK!” It also could have been the incessant hockey references that popped up during your conversations, like that time you tried to lighten the mood during a heated argument by saying, “wow, this is no place for a nervous person,” or when you told him/her that you weren’t blocking the TV, you were just “fronting.” You know it’s happened. It could have been that time he or she sprained their knee and you told them to “man up” and take it like a hockey player because it was nothing compared to what Steve Yzerman played through. Or maybe they just didn’t like sleeping on Red Wings sheets with your Henrik Zetterberg poster staring down at them, like some kind of bearded menace.

If you're like me, your friends have had a running joke for several years saying that the only real relationship you'll ever have is with the Red Wings. According to some, hockey has gotten me through more cold winter nights than any man every could. This says nothing good about the state of my life.

In any case, Wrap Around Curl wants to know about it. Send a message to wraparoundcurl@gmail.com if you want to take part in her survey. This type of research is a vital contribution to the hockey community. Your participation could change lives.


  1. Man, I would totally get Red Wings bedsheets...

  2. So, I guess that means that instead of grandchildren, I'll have to content myself with JLA tickets stubs and red & white pompons acquired at Hockeytown Cafe. Sigh....