First off, if you read nothing else today, read this post from Snapshots. It may not make you happy, but it’s guaranteed to make you feel better. Plus, the notion of the “all-reject free agent team” made me laugh.
Speaking of things that made me laugh, I recently discovered this gem from When Cameron Was in Egypt’s Land. I’m not sure how I missed it before, but I think I’m a little better for having read it now. I tried to think what my fantasy game would include, and I’m pretty sure it would play out just as Cameron envisioned. Highlights: In the first period,
“Then Roy tries to statue-of-liberty it and Yzerman slaps him as Shanahan pokes it in.”I think I snickered for five minutes when I read this. There isn’t a person in the world whose life wouldn’t be improved by seeing Steve Yzerman slap Patrick Roy. Not a single one, including Roy himself. In the third period,
“Scott Stevens and Pronger try to cheap shot Yzerman collectively, miss him on the boards, and tear their ACLs.”No fantasy game could be complete without a reenactment of one of my favorite moments of irony/karma. Finally,
“Zetterberg and Franzen put their beards together like the WonderTwins and form the Beard of Justice. It engulfs Jordin Tootoo and rids him of this world. The crowd goes crazy. Don't Stop Believin' starts playing and the PA cuts the volume for "Born in South Detroit." Game ends. Red Wings win 1919-0. Kenny Holland hands Yzerman the Cup, which has recently been re-engraved to award the Red Wings with every championship back to 1893.”And afterward,
“I'm picked to go down into the locker room and meet all the players. Yzerman invites me out to dinner. Datsyuk's cell phone rings. Shanahan holds the Cup for me as I drink cold Blue Moon from it. The players say what the hell and have the white-glove guy engrave my name on Lord Stanley too. Right next to Stevie's.”This kind of brilliance only comes around once in an off-season. So read it and enjoy, because if that fantasy doesn't bring joy to your life, you're probably not a real Wings fan.
Christy Hammond also posted her five reasons for loving hockey over at Winging it in Motown. This will improve your life as well. There isn't a single bad reason to like hockey, and I love that everyone has their own set of aspects of the game that drew them in.
And finally, the next time someone asks you to explain why Wings fans are the best in the world, just show them this video. We are Hockeytown.