Nick Norris Back for More...

Well, it's been over a month since I actually bothered writing something here. A lot has happened in the meantime. For example, I recently discovered that the playoffs continued even though the Wings were no longer playing. The League even awarded the Stanley Cup to Boston recently (I hope that didn't spoil the surprise for anybody). At any rate, I've been seriously lacking in motivation to write anything. We reached the point about six weeks ago where stepping outside feels like you're walking through a wall of warm Jell-o, which, I'm not ashamed to admit, saps me of my will do do anything but sit as still as possible in front of the air conditioning vent.

Maybe it was my glorious return home for a few short days—breathing refreshing Michigan air, having my first serious hockey conversation in six months, seeing Wings logos on hats, shirts, and bumper stickers everywhere I went—but I immediately felt back in the groove. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be posting regularly throughout the summer, but I do at least have the desire to write something for a change.

Of course, it also helps that I have exciting news to write about. By now, you've all heard that Nick Lidstrom will be returning for another season. It's pretty obvious that he was just waiting for me to come back to Detroit to make the announcement so that I could celebrate it appropriately. You see, in Florida, my roommates and friends think of my love of hockey as kind of a quaint little personality quirk. Nobody there would've understood why I was dancing around my room in my pajamas and grinning madly after being rudely awoken by a text message (side note—you should probably be breaking news as exciting as Lidstrom's contract if you plan on texting or calling me before the clock hits double digits in the morning). They wouldn't have understood my excitement over seeing the cap numbers released or the pre-season schedule announced. Nor would they have understood why rumors about a potential free agent signing could get me all riled up. Life in a hockey wasteland is tough, but it makes me realize and appreciate how spoiled I was growing up in Michigan.

I wasn't just spoiled by being surrounded by hockey growing up. I was surrounded by some unbelievably good hockey. And a lot of that unbelievably good hockey was played buy a guy wearing a #5 jersey. There's not a whole lot to say about his re-signing. This is one we can all agree on, right? There's not really any room for a pro/con debate; there's nothing to argue about. TPH is back with yet another Norris Trophy in tow, and the team remains a contender. End of story.

Now that Lidstrom's all taken care of, we get to relax a bit and sit back as Kenny Holland spends those valuable cap dollars in his usual savvy way. There are still holes in the lineup and questions to be answered, but everything's going to be just fine. We're going to be treated to another season of brilliance from Lidstrom, another chance to send him off the right way, another opportunity to witness perfection on ice. And that, sunshines, is as much as any hockey fan can ask for.

Red Wings 4, Bruins 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I actually got to watch part of today's game on a real, HD TV. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. I sat at my desk starving for three hours because I wanted my lunch break to coincide with the third period of the game. I was more than prepared. I kicked back in the break room with a frozen dinner, my Wings hat from the last viewing party, and one of the last cans of Vernor's that I brought here from Michigan. The only thing that could've made it better is if it had been Ken and Mickey on the broadcast. Or if I hadn't been at work. You get the idea, though.
• I only got to watch the third, but it sure seemed like Datsyuk got knocked around a lot. It was uncharacteristic.
• Darren Helm had a great chance off of a rush in the third, but failed to convert. It's okay though; I'm pretty sure if he and Kris Draper had finished chances like that in the same game it would've caused a break in the space-time continuum.
• I kind of like it when the Wings play puck-possession hockey.
• I decided that the only thing I like about afternoon games is the fact that the lower bowl looks like it's full of fans in Wings gear instead of bored businessmen in work clothes.
• Remember that crazy run Bert went on last November/December? This kind of reminds me of that.
• I never, never, ever want Nick Lidstrom to retire. Never.

Hero: Todd Bertuzzi
Back-to-back two-goal games? Get this man a round of glitter.

Villain: Zdeno Chara
I know it's not his fault that he's tall, or that people keep talking about it, it's just that I'm tired of hearing about it. Yes, I get it. He's an extremely large person. Being tall isn't a skill though; it's an asset, but that doesn't mean the world.

Final Thought:
I usually hate NBC, but I could've kissed the tv when I turned it on and saw the Joe.

Red Wings vs. Bruins GP...

Red Wings: 33-16-6

Bruins: 31-17-7

Red Wing Zen:

Valtteri Filppula

12-19-31, +/- 1, 16 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Michael Ryder

16-15-31, +/- -4, 31 PIM

Red Wings vs. Bruins GP...

Red Wings: 32-16-6

Bruins: 31-16-7

Red Wing Zen:

Ruslan Salei:

1-8-9, +/- 3, 38 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Milan Lucic

23-14-37, +/- 17, 81 PIM

Unofficial NHL Awards for 2009-2010...

Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for my mock NHL awards. This tradition started several years ago and was originally based off of the mock awards that were voted on in high school. Over the years, they’ve evolved quite a bit and fake trophies come and go every season. The real NHL awards show doesn't take place until tomorrow night, but it's never too early to get into the spirit.

The Dr. Rahmani Award (comes with a free lasik procedure) goes to Dennis LaRue. When I saw the Brad May no-goal on TV, I really thought I’d seen the most obnoxiously bad call ever. Of course, then Jim Joyce came along and had to one-up him right in front of my eyes, but since these are NHL fake awards, it goes to LaRue.

The Hatfield-McCoy Enemies Award goes to Wings fans and referees. No season in recent memory has been plagued by more obnoxiously bad calls. Call us tin foil hat wearers all you want, but there were a boatload of legitimate complaints this season. The bad officiating was rampant throughout the league, but plays like the May goal, the shootout winner against Dallas, and the better part of the San Jose series only served to reinforce the notion.

The Golden Pretzel Award for Epic Choking goes to the Boston Bruins. They had a 3-game series lead and a 3-goal lead in Game Seven and still managed to lose. Seriously?

The Class Couple Award goes to Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. Previous winners include Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. In fact, it should really be re-named after them, what with all of the discussion of renaming the real NHL awards to honor more modern players. It's fairly obvious why the commish and his Little Buddy won, so I won't go into depth. (Yes, I did just copy/paste this from last year’s awards post.)

The List Award (as in, "You're on my list.") is awarded to Shane Doan. I honestly never had an issue with Doan until the Wings faced Phoenix in the first round. He very quickly made his way onto my list where he shall remain forever.

The Chosen Ones Award goes to the Chicago Blackhawks. Their Cup victory was everything the NHL could’ve dreamed of. They got there thanks to young stars they obtained by tanking for a long time and using high draft picks to make no-brainer selections. They’re a huge media market, and their stars are young, North American, and marketable. If it couldn’t be Pittsburgh…

The first annual Eavesed Award goes to (shockingly) Patrick Eaves for his hilarious contribution to the H2H festivities. We’ll be laughing about that one for years to come. (Stick tap to Jenn for this one.)

The Mr. Invisible Award goes to Jason Williams (Who?). I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I follow hockey pretty closely. Despite the amount of time I spend obsessing over the Wings, I always managed to find a way to forget about Williams. I know I wasn’t alone. Even when he was getting ready to come back from injury, the reporters included his progress as an afterthought several days later. Poor Willy. (Stick tap to Amanda for this one.)

The Goalie in A Past Life Award goes to Brad Stuart. How many goal line saves did he make this season? It seemed like every couple of games, he was knocking a puck out of the crease after it had gotten by the goalie.

The Master Thespian Award goes to the entire San Jose Sharks lineup for managing to make even professional soccer players shake their heads in disgust at their flopping. (Stick tap to Rob for this one.)

The Face Only A Mother Could Love Award goes to Shane Doan. His goal celebration in the first round inspired the awesome #Doanface photoshops. This could just as easily have gone to Crosby's Olympic celebration, but since that one wasn't actually from the NHL, Doan won out.

The Team MVP Award goes to Pavel Datsyuk for accumulating the most Cookies and Cupcakes throughout the season. He finished in first place with 11 sets of baked goods. Jimmy Howard finished just behind him with 10 awards. Hank and Homer tied for third with six each. Everyone who spent significant time on the roster managed to snag the goodies at least once except for Abdelkader, Draper, Maltby, May, Williams, Ericsson, Kronwall, Lebda, Lilja, and Meech.

The Team Scapegoat Award (maybe not an award, actually…) goes to Todd Bertuzzi. He managed to rack up eleven Golden Facepalms throughout the season. Big Rig was a distant second with six of them. Rafalski came in third with 5 Facepalms. The only major players to not get a Facepalm at least once were Draper, Franzen, Maltby, and May.

Thoughts for other awards or nominees?

Red Wings vs. Stars GP...

1. The Wings are once again sniffing at a playoff spot tonight and they also have a chance to put some distance between themselves and a team that’s coming up behind them in the standings. They’ll need some things to fall into place for them, since both LA and Vancouver are also playing today, but by night’s end, the Wings could potentially be tied for 7th place in the conference. You’d like to think that this would be the kind of game the boys could get motivated for, so which version of the Wings will we get treated to this afternoon?
2. The Wings’ powerplay actually served its purpose a couple of times on Thursday night. This was quite an exciting change of pace for us Wings fans. Is there any chance that we’ll get to see a little more of that today?
3. Now that Lidstrom’s little scoring drought has been ended, I’ve decided to pick on Pav. He looked better last game than he has of late, but he’s had a tendency to fade away for a couple of games at a time before roaring back to life. Can he follow up Thursday’s effort with an even better one, or will we be wondering if he even played a shift by the end of the game?
4. Drew Miller had an amazing game Thursday night. If he keeps it up, he’s going to enter the realm of the unbenchable. Is he going to be able to follow that up with another remarkable effort?

Anyway, the one good thing about the LA and Vancouver games today is that they’re against teams in the East. I know the Western Conference is much better than the East, but at least if the results are favorable to the Wings, the two points will be going out of conference, and any potential 3-point games won’t hurt as much. Are you ready to root for Pittsburgh (and Boston, although that doesn’t hurt as much) tonight?

Go East, Young Men...

In an effort to avoid the million things that I’m supposed to be doing, I decided to play around with the standings differential between the Eastern and Western Conferences. We’ve long maintained that the Wings would’ve been even more dominant if they’d been able to cakewalk through the East for all these years. These are the numbers that I came up with for so far this season (through Sunday):

The 15 Western Conference teams have a total of 730 points. The 15 teams in the East? Merely 683. I was so surprised by the differential that I double checked my addition. The current playoff teams in the West have a total of 438 points, while the Eastern teams only have 409. The eighth place team in the West has 51 points, but the eighth place team in the East has 45. The Wings’ 48 points would place them 6th in the Eastern conference, because they have a game in hand on the Senators who also have 48 points.

I came up with two possible explanations for the difference in numbers: 1. The teams in the West have played more overtime “three-point” games or 2. The Western Conference teams have been winning more of their games against the East.

The teams in the West have accumulated a total of 78 overtime losses, 61 of which have come against in-conference opponents. On the other hand Eastern teams have 81 overtime losses, with 65 of them coming against other teams in the East. Teams in the Eastern Conference have actually played more three-point games than teams in the West have.

Looking at the Western Conference’s cumulative record against the East gives pretty good support to explanation #2. The West is 84-44-17 in games against Eastern teams. The East is only 61-68-16. They’re not even .500 against the West this season. In fact, only three Western Conference teams are below .500 against teams from the East. Those three teams are St. Louis, Edmonton, and Anaheim, who currently occupy three of the bottom four spots in the West. There are only six Eastern Conference teams who have winning records against the West: Pittsburgh, Boston, Buffalo, Atlanta, Washington, and Florida. Not surprisingly, that group of teams accounts for positions 2-5 in the standings, with only Atlanta and Florida being the outliers.

That just goes to show you that when we call it the Leastern Conference, we really mean it. Must be nice, eh?

Wings 2, Bruins 0: Post Game Snipes...

• This was by far the best game I’ve seen the Wings play so far this season. If they pull off a couple more efforts like that in a row, I might be able to sleep again.
• That being said, aside from a few chances here and there, Boston didn’t look particularly threatening.
• Homer picked up another goal. Words cannot express how happy I am to see him being effective again.
• This is the start of the fifth season Versus/OLN has been covering hockey, and they still can’t figure out how to do a good job. They steadfastly refuse to show replays of penalties and other key plays, but managed to include a brief picture-in-picture shot of Tim Thomas skating to the bench when he was pulled for the extra attacker. I really feel like most people out there have a handle on the concept of how one skates to the bench. Then again, I’m kind of an intellectual snob, so maybe I’m totally off-base.
• While celebrating the Wings’ second goal, it occurred to me to wonder what my housemates think when they hear me cheering and clapping (and sometimes yelling things at the TV) alone in my room all the time.
• I was once again disappointed in Ville Leino. I was hoping he’d come out with some fire after getting benched, but he didn’t make much noise at all.
• The Wings’ defense included the likes of Brett Lebda, Derek Meech, and Doug Janik. And the world didn’t collapse around us.
• At one point, the Versus announcer described Jason Williams as having a “flamethrower of a slapshot.” While I’m not entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, I’ve added it to the list of absurd things I’ve heard come out of the mouths of Versus announcers. coughMastodoniccough
• Z's goal came after he jumped on a puck right off of the faceoff to start a powerplay. That's the kind of little stuff that the Wings hadn't been doing to-date. Nice to see.
• This was only the fourth game in which the Wings have scored first all season. It's also the first time that they've held on to win afterward. I think that stat is the most pleasing out of all of the positives of the game.
  
• The refs seemed content to let things go for most of the night…until the third period. It was like they suddenly decided that they hadn’t met their powerplay quota and had to make up for lost time by calling some cheap stuff. Sure some of their calls were technically interference, but much more obvious incidents had been let go previously. Seriously. Inconsistent officiating is the bane of every hockey fans’ existence.
• With their win tonight, the Wings now have 15 points which is good for 10th place in the Western Conference (It would place them in 7th in the [L]Eastern Conference, for the record. Must be nice, eh?). They’re a whopping two points behind Chicago for the Central Division lead. Maybe, just maybe, the sun will continue to rise.
  

Cookies and Cupcakes for Chris Osgood
It’s hard to post a shutout and not get this award. He made some solid saves when the Wings needed him to, but more importantly, he looked confident while doing so. For whatever reason, the Wings seem to play much better collectively when Ozzie’s on his game.

An Extra Stick Tap for Pavel Datsyuk
Honestly, I don’t know how opposing defensemen are able to sleep the night before they play the Wings just thinking about having to face this guy the next day. Seriously, nobody else in the NHL makes as many guys look utterly foolish as Pav does. And I love every second of it.

Jason Williams gets the Golden Facepalm
This was kind of a tough decision. Nobody really stood out as being particularly horrendous tonight. I decided to go with Williams because of the stupid penalty he took that negated the Wings’ powerplay in the third. It ended up not mattering in the long run, but it still didn’t make me happy.

What I learned:
There's no place like home.

Wings vs. Bruins GP...

Wings vs. Bruins @ 7 PM

1. I’ve been told that the third line looked as fast and tenacious on the ice as they did on paper last game. Will they be able to keep it up?
2. Will Nick Lidstrom take this opportunity to avenge his lost Norris Trophy? Probably not, but it sure would be nice to see him put on a defensive clinic and show Chara that he’s still the best defenseman in the league.
3. How will Ville Leino respond to sitting out on Saturday? So far benching Helm seems to have been effective, so will Uncle Mike’s magic work again on Leino?
4. Was Saturday’s game an isolated effort, or a sign that the Wings have finally decided to show up for this season?
5. The Bruins, like the Wings, have gotten off to a slower than expected start. Which of them is going to show up tonight?
6. I'm not sure why, but the Wings always seem to play their worst when they're on Versus (case in point: the Buffalo game). Will they find it within themselves to not look like a trainwreck in front of a national audience?

I know it’s been said by pretty much everyone else already, but the Wings need to put together a string of wins to pull themselves away from the .500 mark. This team still has the ability to shut other teams down and they need to build on what I’m told was a strong effort on Halloween. It’s November now, and it’s time to get serious.

Good Riddance and Other Inanity...

In my attempt to sound all smart and savvy about the draft, I neglected to mention perhaps my favorite news of the weekend. It seems that Chris Pronger.You.Goon is no longer a member of the Anaheim Ducks. It's about time that waste of brain cells went to the Eastern Conference. He and his elbows have been a plague on the West for far too long. (Something I've always wondered: When he flies, do they make him pay an extra carry-on fee for his elbows?) I'd be lying if I said I didn't do a little happy dance when I heard the news. Granted, his legacy will still live on with the Ducks, as he's evidently rubbed off on his captain and GM (among others), but having him in the East means at least five fewer games every season which I'll have to spend screaming things like, "Look out, Pav!" and, "Nooooo, not Z!" It's to the point that I find myself ducking as I sat on my couch as though somehow one of his elbows could fly through my TV screen and nail me in the head. (Sorry, but I just had an incredibly traumatizing image of PYG crawling out of my TV like the girl from The Ring and I'm not sure that I can ever get that mental picture out of my head.) Much to my surprise, it turns out that there are people out there who actually like PYG. According to the writer, Proger's just a nice guy who's universally misunderstood. This quote literally made me laugh out loud:

At first blush, he can definitely come across as arrogant and prickly, but upon getting to know him, Pronger is unmasked as an extremely intelligent, articulate, candid and fun person to be around.

Seriously? For real? How am I supposed to take this "journalist" seriously when he writes things like that. It turns out that Mischa Barton really was the brains of the OC. I'm also quite fond of this little quote:

Despite having suffered a separated right shoulder, missing a portion of the game and needing multiple injections to get back into the clinching 6-2 victory over the Ottawa Senators, Pronger repeatedly raised the Cup for Ducks staff, family members and who knows who else to drink from during the boisterous locker-room celebration.

So I'm supposed to believe that PYG's a really nice guy based on the fact that he got drunk and hoisted the Cup for his friends and family after his team won? I'd venture a guess to say that *even if* he was a complete and utter douchebag, he probably would've done the same thing. It's just a hypothetical, though.

And then there's this picture. If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does. This made me laugh even harder than the news article did. It's about time the forwards in the East found themselves in his elbow targeting radar.



Also of note is the fact that the Wings won't be bringing back Ty Conklin next year. Instead we'll be left with Jimmy Howard as Ozzie's backup. Hockey Gods forbid Ozzie goes down with an injury. I've never quite understood the organization's attachment to Howard, but I guess we'll wait and see what happens. Of all of the summers since the lockout, this is the one in which the salary cap has frustrated me the most. Anyway, 10 bucks says Conks ends up signing with Boston or Philly just so he can play in the Winter Classic.