2010-2011 Player Profiles: Jimmy Howard...

Hey, kids, guess what? Hockey's almost here. That means it's time for me to get back into this whole blogging thing that I've neglected during the off-season. Since I lack the creativity to come up with a new gimmick, I decided to continue the Player Profiles series I did last year leading up to the season. I'll be taking a look at a different player (almost) every day between now and when hockey starts. By my count, there are 16 days until the Wings open the regular season. Get excited. Today's subject:

Jimmy Howard

2009-2010 Regular Season: 63 GP, 37-15-10, 3 SO, 2.26 GAA, 0.924 SV%

2010 Playoffs: 12 GP, 5-7, 1 SO, 2.75 GAA, 0.915 SV%

Season Highlight: His brilliant game against LA. His facewash of Sidney Crosby comes in a close second.

Season Lowlight: The first month of the season

Nobody was a bigger surprise last season than Jimmy Howard. I entered the year with very low expectations for him and figured he was a stop-gap solution until one of the Wings' younger goaltending prospects was ready to relieve Chris Osgood. Instead, Howard ended up taking over the starting job and playing brilliantly during the second half of the season. He should've won the Calder. I'll believe that for as long as I live.

This year, he'll face the dreaded sophomore slump. He's much older than your typical NHL sophomore, and he's had plenty of college and pro experience, so I'm optimistic that he'll be okay. That being said, goaltending is my biggest concern heading into this season. The Wings need him to play like he did down the stretch last season, not like he did at the beginning of the year. The team's stacked enough that they don't need hom to stand on his head every night, but he needs to make the stops that count.


What he needs to do to make me smile: Avoid the sophomore slump.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Part Three...

The Ugly

• There was more ugly this season than I care to remember. It was a rough year for the team and us fans.
• Brad May’s no-goal was the most ridiculously bad call I’d ever seen at the time. Of course, Jim Joyce had to go and one-up him a few months later (Can you tell I’m still bitter?), but this was disgraceful and bungled by the NHL. Objectively speaking, the May call was worse than the one in the perfect game because of its sheer ridiculousness even though in context it mattered less. This was a perfect example of officiating incompetence by the NHL and makes a compelling argument against the intent to blow nonsense that has been plaguing the league.
• That was the worst incident by far, but the officiating all throughout the playoffs was a joke. It wasn’t just the Wings-Sharks series. I don’t think there was a single series that wasn’t influenced by lousy calls and pathetic excuses for refereeing. Not that any of us should be surprised. This is the only measure of consistency the NHL has.
• The Wings didn’t suffer from an injury bug this season. It was a full-blown plague. There were several stretches when the team was fielding a roster that was half Griffins. The Wings didn’t lose the most man games of any team in the league, but I would argue that they lost more important man games than anyone else. They weren’t losing grinders; it was the stars going down. November, December, and January were absolutely brutal. A casual fan probably wouldn’t have even recognized the team they were fielding during that stretch. Ugh.
• Doanface and Crosby’s Golden Roar were two of the most disturbing images I’ve seen. *shudder*
• Of course neither one of them can hold a candle to the Shetuzzi. This is the stuff of nightmares. Behold it in all of its glory:
  
• NBC and Versus continued to provide astonishingly bad coverage. The announcers are pathetically bad, and at one point, NBC missed a Wings goal right off of a faceoff because they were showing nonsense. These are the NHL’s broadcast partners. I can’t stand when they pick up Wings games.
  

Thoughts? Additions?

Unofficial NHL Awards for 2009-2010...

Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for my mock NHL awards. This tradition started several years ago and was originally based off of the mock awards that were voted on in high school. Over the years, they’ve evolved quite a bit and fake trophies come and go every season. The real NHL awards show doesn't take place until tomorrow night, but it's never too early to get into the spirit.

The Dr. Rahmani Award (comes with a free lasik procedure) goes to Dennis LaRue. When I saw the Brad May no-goal on TV, I really thought I’d seen the most obnoxiously bad call ever. Of course, then Jim Joyce came along and had to one-up him right in front of my eyes, but since these are NHL fake awards, it goes to LaRue.

The Hatfield-McCoy Enemies Award goes to Wings fans and referees. No season in recent memory has been plagued by more obnoxiously bad calls. Call us tin foil hat wearers all you want, but there were a boatload of legitimate complaints this season. The bad officiating was rampant throughout the league, but plays like the May goal, the shootout winner against Dallas, and the better part of the San Jose series only served to reinforce the notion.

The Golden Pretzel Award for Epic Choking goes to the Boston Bruins. They had a 3-game series lead and a 3-goal lead in Game Seven and still managed to lose. Seriously?

The Class Couple Award goes to Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. Previous winners include Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. In fact, it should really be re-named after them, what with all of the discussion of renaming the real NHL awards to honor more modern players. It's fairly obvious why the commish and his Little Buddy won, so I won't go into depth. (Yes, I did just copy/paste this from last year’s awards post.)

The List Award (as in, "You're on my list.") is awarded to Shane Doan. I honestly never had an issue with Doan until the Wings faced Phoenix in the first round. He very quickly made his way onto my list where he shall remain forever.

The Chosen Ones Award goes to the Chicago Blackhawks. Their Cup victory was everything the NHL could’ve dreamed of. They got there thanks to young stars they obtained by tanking for a long time and using high draft picks to make no-brainer selections. They’re a huge media market, and their stars are young, North American, and marketable. If it couldn’t be Pittsburgh…

The first annual Eavesed Award goes to (shockingly) Patrick Eaves for his hilarious contribution to the H2H festivities. We’ll be laughing about that one for years to come. (Stick tap to Jenn for this one.)

The Mr. Invisible Award goes to Jason Williams (Who?). I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I follow hockey pretty closely. Despite the amount of time I spend obsessing over the Wings, I always managed to find a way to forget about Williams. I know I wasn’t alone. Even when he was getting ready to come back from injury, the reporters included his progress as an afterthought several days later. Poor Willy. (Stick tap to Amanda for this one.)

The Goalie in A Past Life Award goes to Brad Stuart. How many goal line saves did he make this season? It seemed like every couple of games, he was knocking a puck out of the crease after it had gotten by the goalie.

The Master Thespian Award goes to the entire San Jose Sharks lineup for managing to make even professional soccer players shake their heads in disgust at their flopping. (Stick tap to Rob for this one.)

The Face Only A Mother Could Love Award goes to Shane Doan. His goal celebration in the first round inspired the awesome #Doanface photoshops. This could just as easily have gone to Crosby's Olympic celebration, but since that one wasn't actually from the NHL, Doan won out.

The Team MVP Award goes to Pavel Datsyuk for accumulating the most Cookies and Cupcakes throughout the season. He finished in first place with 11 sets of baked goods. Jimmy Howard finished just behind him with 10 awards. Hank and Homer tied for third with six each. Everyone who spent significant time on the roster managed to snag the goodies at least once except for Abdelkader, Draper, Maltby, May, Williams, Ericsson, Kronwall, Lebda, Lilja, and Meech.

The Team Scapegoat Award (maybe not an award, actually…) goes to Todd Bertuzzi. He managed to rack up eleven Golden Facepalms throughout the season. Big Rig was a distant second with six of them. Rafalski came in third with 5 Facepalms. The only major players to not get a Facepalm at least once were Draper, Franzen, Maltby, and May.

Thoughts for other awards or nominees?

Red Wings 3, Penguins 1: Post Game Snipes...

• It feels like it’s been forever since I wrote one of these. I’m a little rusty.
• First off, congrats to all the folks with DirecTV who finally got to watch their first Versus broadcast of the season.
  
• The Wings looked good last night. After these last few weeks, I finally feel like I recognize those guys skating around in jerseys with the Winged Wheel on them.
• One of the Wings’ powerplays was so good that the Penguins looked like they were a peewee team trying to keep up with the grownups. Unfortunately, it didn’t end up with a puck in the net.
• Versus showed a shot of Ozzie on the bench apparently whispering sweet nothings into Paul Boyer’s ear. At one point, I thought he was going to plant a kiss on his cheek. I guess he’s having a good time, at least.
• The Eurotwins were out in full force last night. Please tell me that there’s a photoshop out there with them in a Captain Planet cartoon combining their powers.
• Hank called Bertuzzi “Ber-toot-sie” in an interview. I realize that it’s technically the real way to pronounce it, but it made me snicker.
• Back in September, if you had told me that seeing Jimmy Howard look like he was hurt was nearly going to give me a heart attack, I would’ve laughed at you. Luckily, he bounced right back and was more than ready to perform some late-game heroics.
• I’ve never once said that Crosby sucks or denied that he’s a talented player. My issue with him is his insistence on acting like a spoiled little brat. His attack on Zetterberg, who did nothing that I saw to provoke anything, was cheap and selfish. Instead of trying to put a puck in the net, he was focused on cross-checking Z from behind. That’s the kind of thing that would’ve had me yelling at the TV if it was coming from a Wing. Not so with Pittsburgh fans as they were quick to rush to his defense. His comments after the game were absurd and just as indicative of his self-centeredness. There really is something to be said for class, and Crosby is completely devoid of any semblance of it.
• Jimmy Howard solidified his place in Wings fans’ hearts when he jumped to Zetterberg’s defense. I kept rewinding the scrum at the end on my DVR and rewatching it, and I laughed every time.
• This is one of my new favorite quotes ever: “I saw Jimmy coming in with his glove and Crosby wasn’t there anymore.’’~Z
  

GP Answers:
1. How close to the final horn are the Wings going to wait to score a goal this time around?
They scored with less than a minute left in the first, but other than that, it was fairly undramatic. The real end-of-game drama came from Gary’s baby.

2. Will any Wings fans even make it to the opening faceoff before wanting to toss their TVs out of the window due to all of Versus’ inevitable Penguin-fawning? This would be an interesting thing for me to try since I live in the basement and I’d actually have to heave the TV up and out of the egress ditch.
I solved this problem by not watching the pre-game show.

3. What great new word or phrase are the Versus announcers going to delight us with tonight? In the past, we’ve been treated to ‘mastodonic,’ and more recently ‘Danglelicious.” I’m eagerly awaiting more of their oratorical brilliance.
Sadly, we weren’t treated to any delicious creativity.

4. Who is Matt Cooke going to try to kill tonight?
It turned out that Cooke wasn’t the one the Wings had to be looking over their shoulders for.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Henrik Zetterberg
There’s very little that you can do to convince me that Sidney Crosby doesn’t have nightmares about Zetterberg shadowing him anywhere and everywhere he goes.

Drew Miller the Golden Facepalm
He missed another glorious opportunity. I don't know what he was up to during the two games I missed, but the last little stretch seems to have been filled with numerous chances that should've resulted in goals for him if he had a little more finish.

What I Learned:
A whole week without hockey is horrendous.

Red Wings vs. Blackhawks GP...

1. A game against Chicago on NBC? What more could Wings fans ask for? How much time is Pierre going to spend talking about Sidney Crosby?
2. One of the best things about the Nashville game was the fact that the Wings’ stars were their best players. Can they continue to lead the boys?
3. What is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to blow our minds tomorrow?
4. We haven’t gotten to see Olympic Rafalski since the break ended. When is that version of the hometown boy going to show up?

This game starts at 11:30 am local time in Chicago. What an idiotic time to start a hockey game. Also, it’s going to feel good to be able to hate Patrick Kane again after those bizarre couple of weeks of Olympic hockey when we were rooting for him.

Red Wings vs. Avalanche GP...

Yesterday, midway through the USA-Canada game, I realized that the Wings were back in action tonight. I’d actually completely forgotten that, which is a testament to how much I enjoyed the Olympics. After spending the last two weeks planted in front of my TV for most of the day watching every second of Olympic coverage, I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with my life. I’d be 100% okay if they decided to have the Olympics every day. In order to fill the void left by the sudden lack of curling, ski jumping, aerials, and biathlon, I guess I’ll have to get back in the swing of blogging.

Before I return to the Wings, though, I have to say that the game yesterday was incredible. The two teams could not have made a better argument for NHL participation in the Olympics if they had brought flow charts and bar graphs. I was absolutely ecstatic when we tied the game in the final minute. Not even I, the ultimate homer, thought that Team USA would medal in these Olympics, so taking Canada to overtime in the gold medal game was incredible. Honestly, the thing that I’m most upset about is the fact that it had to be Crosby who scored the OT winner. He did next to nothing all tournament, but that’s not going to stop him from having statues erected in his honor all over Canada. I would’ve been more than okay if it had been Iginla, who I’ve always respected, or Nash who I have no issues with despite his status as a consistent Wing-destroyer. On the other hand, the shot of Yzerman and co. jumping up in the air after the goal made me feel a lot better. I’m glad Stevie isn’t going to have his Canadian citizenship revoked now.

1. Are the Wings going to come out of the Olympic break as dazed and confused as I am? Or can they continue playing like they did against Ottawa before the break? (That happened this century, right? It’s been a while.)
2. How will the Wings’ Olympians fare after their short break? Only Rafalski played yesterday so the rest of the team should be in pretty good shape. Honestly, Sweden and Russia getting knocked out early might’ve been the best thing to happen to the Wings in a long time.
3. Lilja’s slated to make his long-awaited return to NHL action tonight. It should be interesting, to say the least. How is that going to work out for him and the team? It sure would be a shame to have put Maltby out of action for the rest of the season to make room for the old, turnover-machine version of Lilja.
4. Can Rafalski bring his stellar Olympic play back to the Wings? If he plays like that down the stretch, things are going to be looking happier around here.

Red Wings 1, Penguins 2 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• The shootout was disappointing for sure, but let’s not kid ourselves…the Wings were lucky to get a point today. The first 40 minutes of the game were far more disappointing than anything we saw in the skills competition.
• I’ve decided to stop trying to understand this team’s inability/unwillingness to show up for games. Instead of driving myself crazy trying to figure it out, I’m just going to accept it for what it is.
• I had a Qdoba burrito for brunch today. I didn’t realize the irony until I was halfway through eating it. Does Bylsma still do that before every game? It can’t be good for his waistline.
• Pierre McGuire kept saying that the game was being played with playoff intensity. He was either watching a different game or only referring to the Penguins.
• It was nice of the Wings to wake up in time for the third.
• Thank goodness Jimmy Howard brought his A-game today. Otherwise, the score could’ve been ugly. He got some help from the posts, crossbar, and some near-misses by the Penguins, but he’s the one and only reason the Wings skated away with a point today.
• Every time the third line takes a shift, I fall in love.
• Filppula missed a couple of glorious chances. It made me sad.
  
• Why would you send Jason Williams (Who?) out in the shootout before Zetterberg? I know Z’s not the greatest in shootouts, but Williams didn’t even appear to try. He shot it directly into MAF’s glove. He didn’t even have to move it to make the save. I would’ve sent Filppula out before him too, for that matter.
• Great job everyone over at the Winging it in Motown fundraiser. It was a lot of fun, even though it was weird to see Twitter so quiet during the game.
  

GP Answers:
1. Are the Wings going to have some semblance of a defense? The kind of game they played Friday night isn’t going to fly against the Penguins.
The turnovers weren’t as much of a problem today as they were on Friday. The Wings’ main issue was a complete and utter inability to play hockey for most of the game.

2. How long is it going to take for NBC’s broadcast to make Wings fans want to off themselves? Between missed goals and Crosby worship, this game is going to be filled with goodies for all of us.
I don’t think they even made it to the opening faceoff before we were all ready to mute our TVs. At least we didn’t miss any goals this time around.

3. I wrote about the powerplay sarcastically on Friday, and the Wings made me look silly by converting two of them, and scoring just three seconds after another one. Can they make that a trend so that powerplay success becomes the norm again instead of an exception?
No. They even had a powerplay chance to end overtime and couldn’t convert. That needs to get fixed. Soon.

4. The first line has been acting like a first line lately. You’d like to think that they would show up for a game like this. Will we see the brilliance from the Eurotwins that we’re accustomed to in big games?
Datsyuk and Zetterberg were the Wings’ best forwards all game, not that it took much to stand out today for most of the game.

5. The Wings got passed in the standings again. Petty desires for revenge or retribution for us fans don’t really matter anymore. The Wings need to win this one to jump back into the 8-spot. Can they do it?
Well, no. They’re now tied with Calgary point-wise, but are still in 9th place because they lose the tiebreaker.

6. I hate wondering if the Wings are going to show up before every single game. It’s been a valid question for all of this season, though. What kind of effort are we going to see from the whole team?
Hahahahaha. Don’t even get me started. It’s disgusting, it’s frustrating, it’s appalling, it’s disheartening, etc, etc, etc.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Jimmy Howard
I have this secret hope that Jimmy walked into the locker room after the game and beat every single one of his teammates with his goal stick while screaming incoherently. I’m sure that didn’t happen, but it has to be annoying to consistently be the only one showing up for games.

Darren Helm gets the Golden Facepalm
I love the guy, but you just can’t leave Sidney Crosby wide open like that. This really could’ve gone to a number of guys, though.

What I Learned:
The Office is NBC’s only redeeming quality.

New Rules for 2010...

Inspired by Mitch Albom’s column on Sunday (Yeah, I know, I know.), I decided to write some of my own rules for 2010 (pronounced twenty-ten, sunshines). Since we live in Little Gary’s universe, and I have absolutely zero power, none of these things will ever happen. A girl can dream though. Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.

For the Red Wings:

• Chris Osgood has to age at least a little. He looks like he could be my kid brother. I’m only 23.
• Mike Babcock has to wear fedoras to every game. This is crucial.
• Ozzie’s calendar is only allowed to include the months of April, May, and June. They’ll just cycle through four times a year each.
• Nobody else in a Wings uniform is allowed to get hurt. Ever.
• The Wings have to release a new line of stylish tin foil hats for fans with fashion sense.
• Wings games are now state-wide holidays. No class or work can be scheduled during them.
• Darren Helm has to learn how to finish his chances.
• Pavel Datsyuk has to make an exercise video based off of his pre-game stretching routine. Move over, Richard Simmons.
  
• The 19th day of each month should also be a holiday on which everyone is required to wear Wings apparel.
• The Wings get a restraining order against Brad Watson and Dennis LaRue so we never have to see them again.
• Mickey Redmond must be unleashed on the telestrator at least once per period during each and every broadcast.
• Sorry, MacLean, the ‘stache has to go.
• Larry Murphy’s makeup artist is fired. Now.
• The Zetterberg fangirls have lost their privilege to vote for the player of the game.
• “Kronwalled” is hereby added to the dictionary.
• No more shutout losses. I won’t allow it.
• The Wings’ powerplay needs to figure out a way to score on a regular basis.
• Ville Leino has to race Darren Helm so that I can point and laugh.
  

For the NHL:

• All NHL broadcasts must include the word “fabulosity” at least once.
• Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire are banned. There’s really no need for anyone to ever hear them speak again.
• Gary Bettman must be constantly followed by an entourage of fans who walk behind him and boo him. Everywhere he goes, they follow.
• Nobody gets to use the word “fronting” any more. It’s to be permanently deleted from everyone’s vocabulary.
• Ditto for “time and space.”
• Whining is now a 5 minute major. Boo hoo, he touched you with his stick. You’re a grown man who’s making more money to play a game than I’ll ever make in my life. Man up. This also applies to my little sister.
• No more ads with Sidney Crosby. Seriously. We don’t want to see his face.
• Dennis LaRue and Brad Watson will both win the lottery only to find out that the lotto agency “intended to blow” the whistle before their numbers were drawn. They don’t get a penny.
• Versus must learn to show appropriate replays. You know, things like penalties that might be important to the game.
• All sports bars are required to carry Versus. No excuses.
• NBC has to stop pretending that nobody has ever seen a hockey game before when it broadcasts games. Believe it or not, not all of us need to have the concept of a powerplay explained to us.
• Third jerseys are no longer permitted.
• Ditto for pink ones. These are a travesty.
• Nobody talks about Crosby’s dryer or the Lucky Loony ever again. Enough is enough.
• The league has to market at least one team in the West not located in Chicago. I’m sick of seeing all the hype directed at the Eastern Conference when statistics clearly show that the West is superior.
  

For everyone else:

• It's pronounced twenty-ten. Get with the program.
  
• All slow walkers (who are not elderly…we’ll give them a pass) will be banished to Siberia.
• Lolspeak must die a miserable, painful death. You look like a moron when you write like that. And I judge you.
• Anyone who leaves shopping carts in the middle of parking lots without returning them to the cart corral will have their driver's license revoked.
  
• Nobody over the age of 13 is allowed to have a fauxhawk. I’m looking at you, Bertuzzi.
• Stores are no longer allowed to claim something is on clearance if it’s only 30% off. 30% is not a clearance. It’s just a good sale. At half off, we’ll talk.
• If you don’t feel like driving the speed limit, you’re banned from the freeway. Take the side streets. I have places to be, and I’d like to get there in a timely manner.
• Twelve-year-olds don’t need fancy phones and unlimited text message plans.
• Using a kid leash is now considered child abuse.
  
• Waking up before 8 AM is prohibited.
• The minimum tip for adequate service is 15%. And that’s pretty stingy. 20% should be your baseline. Servers have bills to pay, and rely on tips for their living. Complementing them is nice, but before leaving a bad tip, stop and consider whether kind words from a stranger would help you make your car payment.
• All Crocs and Ugs must be burned.
• Ditto for anything Twilight related. In fact, the word “twilight” is also banned, except for when referring to dusk.

(UPDATE 9:55 PM 1/4/09) Two important ones that I forgot:

• Lady Gaga=gone. ASAP.
• If you walk down the middle of a parking lot aisle and block traffic, you can legally be run over by the cars trying to get through. You're fair game at that point.
  

2009-2010 Player Profiles: Henrik Zetterberg...

OK, it’s that time of year. Hockey’s so close that you can almost taste it. By my count, there IS ONLY 1 DAY remaining before the Wings kick off their season in Sweden (which is still entirely too many, but at least we can see the light at the end of the tunnel). In order to pass the time, I’ll be posting a player profile every day until then (in alphabetical order, because I’m one of those people). I want to make it very clear that these are not predictions, because I do not, under any circumstance, make predictions. They’re simply my thoughts on each player’s performances last season, and my hopes and expectations for them this time around. Today’s subject:

Henrik Zetterberg


2008-2009 Regular Season: 77 GP, 31-42-73, +/- 13, 36 PIM
2009 Playoffs: 23 GP, 11-13-24, +/- 13, 13 PIM

Season Highlight: Owning Crosby in the Finals. Again.
Season Lowlight: Probably his “fight” with Malkin.

Who better to conclude this series with than Zetterberg? His regular season numbers were down a little from the year before, but critics overlooked the fact that Marian Hossa took a lot of ice time on the top line. There were rumblings about him having a below average season for much of the regular season, largely due to the fact that his performance was being compared to his Conn Smythe winning playoff run the year before. Whether or not you feel that he lived up to his lofty standards during the regular season, there’s no doubt that he turned things up a notch in the playoffs. He was nothing short of spectacular in the Finals, as he once again managed to shut Sidney Crosby down, this time without the aid of Pavel Datsyuk for much of the series. There were times when I felt like he was one of the few Wings who actually looked like they had any desire to win the Cup.

So far this pre-season, he’s been hampered by a groin injury that held him out of the lineup until yesterday. I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t worry me on some level. Those are the kinds of injuries that nag and nag and just won’t go away. It’s only October 1st and the fact that I’m already finding myself stressing over Z’s groin has me nervous. The Wings need Zetterberg to be healthy and in top form this season. At present, he’s slated to center his own line with Todd Bertuzzi and Dan Cleary, but I wouldn’t be shocked to see a EuroTwin reunion when the Wings need a spark from time to time. We haven’t seen much of the line in action thus far, thanks to the injury bug (it’s about 5 man-games lost away from being officially upgraded to curse), but the concept definitely intrigues me. Hank looked pretty good in his pre-season debut on Wednesday, and I feel a little bit better now. With any luck, it won't take long for that line to gel now that everyone's in the lineup.

Really though, I don’t know what to say about what to expect from him. Basically, he’ll continue to be Henrik Zetterberg, which is another way of saying that night in and night out, he’s going to be one of the two best all-around players in the world (any guesses as to who the other is?). He does it all, and in one game he’ll be working magic in the offensive zone and the next he’ll devote himself to shutting down the other team’s top line. He’s already been anointed as future Captain by many Wings fans, and this season, he just needs to continue doing what he does best: leading by example with his performance on the ice. Also, trying to bring old-man cardigans back into style.

What he needs to do to make me happy: Find more excuses to wear eye black. Just saying.

A Little Taste of Hockey...

I just watched the end of Canada’s Red/White scrimmage. It didn’t mean much, but it was glorious to see some live hockey. The scrimmage ended in a 2-2 tie. Even if it was a grainy little video on my laptop. Honestly, I think my favorite part was listening to the sounds of the game without the broadcasters talking. You could hear the crowd noise, the skate blades cutting into the ice, and the crack of every tape-to-tape pass. It was like music to my ears. Can the off-season be over yet? I’m totally ready for training camp to start.

After the game, every forward took a shot in the shootout. Dan Cleary scored on his attempt. I screencapped it, but it didn’t come out spectacularly well. Cleary's Red Team ended up winning the shootout 6-2, for what it's worth.





In other news, Sidney Crosby was in the handshake line. I even managed to not make any wisecracks about it. That’s him in the middle in white, if you care. You can’t make out Cleary, but he’s the guy in red, second from the right.


For a more detailed description of the scrimmage, check out ESPN's NHL blog, which has a period by period description of the fun.

Season Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Part One...

In order to avoid making this post epically long, I decided to break it up into three separate entries. Like the Unofficial Awards, this is a long-standing tradition in my life, with the title most likely inspired my my father's love of watching reruns of westerns with me as a child.

The good:

Despite the number of hours I spent screaming at my TV and mentally strangling the NHL (yes, it’s possible to strangle an organization) over the course of the last year, the 2008-2009 season turned out to be a pretty good one. It fell one game short of being great, but it’s not like I didn’t enjoy the ride. Here we have the best of the best, or at any rate, the best that I could remember off the top of my head. Please feel free to remind me of any highlights that I might have missed.

--The Winter Classic. Despite Pavel Datsyuk’s wind-aided goal, the Classic was an amazing experience and, quite frankly, one of the few things the NHL got right this year. It was so much fun that part of me felt bad for the fans of other teams who had no rooting interest in the game. You pretty much knew it was going to be epic when Mike Babcock and staff came out wearing fedoras. I think that was the moment when I realized that he was probably the only coach who could replace Scotty Bowman in my heart. The other highlight of the game: Henrik Zetterberg + eye black. I’m just saying… (Why are there not any better pictures of this? Seriously.)
--Possibly my favorite part of the playoffs was Ozzie semi-silencing his critics. He was supposed to be the Wings’ weak link, and he came this close to walking away with a well-deserved Conn Smythe trophy. Honestly, of all the Wings, he’s the one I felt worst for at the end of Game 7. It seemed like no matter how well he played, analysts kept saying he was going to implode and the next game would surely showcase the “real” Chris Osgood. But game in and game out, the man was an absolute wall. I’m of the opinion that the way a player performs when he’s under maximum pressure shows his true character, and this year, Ozzie did nothing but reaffirm my faith in him. Despite losing, the man has nothing to be ashamed of.
--I was also a huge fan of CBC’s Coldplay intro to the Finals. If ever there was a song that you wouldn’t associate with hockey, it’s “The Scientist.” Those Canadians made it work in a spectacular fashion, though. In moments like those, I almost wish that I was Canadian. Last year, when I didn’t have cable, my playoff mantra was TGFC—thank god for Canada!—and CBC was literally the only thing that kept me sane. Despite the fact that they lost their Song, aka the unofficial Canadian anthem, this year, those guys never let me down.
--In other random media notes, I was thrilled to see the reemergence of the Cup lift commercial. This is quite possibly the greatest advertisement ever made. It’s hard to believe that the NHL was responsible for it. That strange and pathetic sound you hear every time it’s played is thousands of grown men simultaneously bursting into tears. At any rate, it’s absolutely mesmerizing. I can’t tear my eyes away from it when it’s on, nor would I want to. When I missed games this year, I would stop fast forwarding through the commercials on my DVR just so I could watch this one. And there’s no greater complement that I can give to a marketing instrument.
--Speaking of mesmerizing, one of the Wings’ season highlights was Datsyuk’s epic shootout goal against Minnesota. Much like the Cup commercial, I don’t think I will ever tire of watching this replayed on youtube. It’s pretty safe to assume that at least 75% of the views for that video were from me. It was a Dangle Dangle Special of the highest order.
--Also on the subject of Datsyuk, few interviews could top his chat with Mickey Redmond while serving his quasi-suspension after the All-Star Game. It should be mandatory that he give interviews like that 365 days a year.
--Another of Mick’s finest moments was the interview he and Ken Daniels did with Gary Bettman in which Mickey “debated” (which is a kind way of saying that he delivered an intellectual ass-kicking) many of the issues nearest and dearest to Wings fans’ hearts with the commish. Because, clearly, I needed another reason to love Mickey Redmond. Not many people involved in the game have had the audacity to publicly stand up to Bettman and *gasp* question his actions, and you have to imagine that it took the commish a week curled up under his security blanket made from Sidney Crosby’s game-worn jerseys to get over the affront. I’m not sure whether I liked the look on Bettman’s face as he squirmed while Mr. Bingo Bango dared challenge him or the awkward look on Ken Daniel’s face as he desperately tried to find a way to rein Mickey in. I still haven’t found a youtube video of this “debate,” and that makes me sad on many levels.
--The fake Henrik Zetterberg ads. These things make my life. As far as I'm concerned, they're sheer brilliance on the part of the guys who created them. Also, this video. It should send chills down your spine if you're a true hockey fan.
--One of the best regular season things the organization did was begin the $15 student tickets around Christmas time. I realize that this was only in response to the lousy economy, and thus it’s a little hard to take joy in it, but it allowed me to attend more games that I had ever been able to before. I hope they continue this next season, because, let’s face it, Wings games are like my version of crack. The more I watch, the more I need to fulfill my craving.

And a few more on a personal level:
--I had the opportunity to meet Ted Lindsay at the Joe this year. I got his autograph, but more importantly, I was able to shake his hand. This was perhaps one of the finest moments in my career as a hockey fan (yeah, I said “career”).
--During another visit to the Joe, my friend and I were running late and arrived after the game had started. The concourse was pretty much deserted as we were running to our seats. As we passed by one of the pillars, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. Sitting right there, 5 feet away at a book-signing table, was none other than Mr. Hockey. I stopped dead in my tracks and blurted out, “Holy shit, that’s Gordie Howe.” He then proceeded to look up at me and laugh. That’s right. Gordie freakin’ Howe looked me in the eye and chuckled at me. I stood there for a moment with what can be best described as a look of bewilderment on my face. Then I did a little half-wave, and ran away to find my seat. You had better believe that I’ll be telling that story to my grandkids some day.
--Going to my first playoff game was another personal highlight. I'll never forget rising to my feet in unison with the entire crowd as the Wings broke in on a 3-on-1 in overtime. While there is literally nothing that can ever be done to make me enjoy playoff OT, this was by far the greatest play I've ever witnessed in person at the Joe.
--Starting this blog has quite possibly saved my life. It’s hard to believe, considering the enormous amount of time that I waste on the internet every day, but for some reason, I was completely unaware that there was a vast hockey blogging community until halfway through this season. Once I saw the brilliance that was out there, it was only a matter of time until I felt compelled to join in and have my say. Putting my thoughts out here has been a wonderfully cathartic alternative to ranting and raving at (yes, “at,” not “to”) my friends and family who care about the Wings significantly less than I do. Mostly it's just good to know that there are other crazies like myself out there. Suffering alone is no fun at all.

Part Two: The Bad
Part Three: The Ugly

Are We Seriously Still Talking About This?...

For cryin' out loud, can we just move on already? It's been a little over a week now, and the Handshake Incident is still being discussed. Snapshots has a link to yet another media "analysis" of it. I mean, really, there's nothing else we can talk about? There's nothing else Nick Lidstrom could've been asked about at the NHL Awards show? Nothing?

I realize that I'm only continuing the discussion by contributing it, but there's a certain amount that I can take in silence, and once that level is reached, I have to have my say about it.

The general consensus is that this whole thing was started when Kris Draper called Crosby out for not shaking Lidstrom's hand after the game. One of the Pittsburgh writers described him as having "piggybacked his way to four championships," which is a funny way to describe a former Selke winner who's been a heart and soul guy on the most dominant team in the NHL for 16 years now. Granted, under any other circumstance, I don't think Draper would've spoken out that way, but the fact remains that he wasn't the one who started this whole nightmare. It was Crosby, out on the ice at Joe Louis Arena, not participating in half of the handshake line.

The standard Crosby defense from the adoring media is that he's just a young kid reveling in his first Stanley Cup. That's wonderful, but he's still the captain of the Penguins. I'm one year older than Crosby, but you don't see me tossing my relative youth around as an excuse for all of my failures. You can either be an overwhelmed kid who got lost in the shuffle, or you can be a man who displays leadership worthy of wearing the C. You can't have it both ways if you want to earn any respect in this world.

Also, you'd think that a guy who's been followed around by media for years would realize when he's about to put his skate in his mouth. His quotes about the expectation to participate in the handshake line being "unreasonable" and having the "right to celebrate" did nothing to erase his league-wide (outside of Pittsburgh and Gary Bettman's office) as being a petulant child. Who knows? Maybe he's really a nice guy. Maybe he spends all of his free time helping little old ladies cross the street with their groceries. But the fact remains that all he had to do is say something to the effect of, "I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to insult anyone. I got caught up in the moment and I know I was a little bit late to the handshake line. I certainly didn't mean to disrespect one of our great hockey traditions," and it all would've gone away. Just like when Chris Chelios had to apologize for not shaking the Ducks' hands in '07 (and for the record, I was pretty angry at him when he left the ice like that.)

It clearly was neither the end of the world nor a career-defining moment for Crosby, so at this point, why should anyone care? Nobody in their right mind is going to say, "Gee, I really liked that Crosby guy until he skipped half of a handshake line." For the rest, and I think majority, of us out there, it's just one more incident to file away with in our mental Why Crosby's A Classless and Miserable Excuse for A Captain files. Believe me, if this didn't sway you, the Handshake sure won't.

Honestly, the worst part of all of this is the fact that it's resulted in Draper, Lidstrom, and Henrik Zetterberg, who also made an uncharacteristically blunt comment, getting dragged through the mud by almost everyone. I'm pretty sure nobody before now has accused any of those three guys of anything remotely controversial. Let's face it, this guy had to use Terminator effects and grope his chest to make a Nick Lidstrom interview interesting. (Watch Lidstrom's face at the end of this interview. I don't think he even knows what to do.) Mostly I suspect they all just want this to go away. But if there's one thing reporters love, it's controversy and scandal, so you can be pretty sure that this is going to be rehashed over and over again until it makes you want to kick babies.

2009 Unofficial NHL Awards...

I hope nobody was expecting actual predictions or analysis of the NHL Awards show. If you did, clearly you missed the purpose of this blog. The truth is, I've never really cared all that much about them. While I'm sure they're fun to win, they're not really the trophies I'm after, and I think most of the players would agree with me. That being said, the thought that Mike Green is probably going to be taking home Nick Lidstrom's trophy makes me gag a little. I'm pretty sure they should re-open voting for the Norris just to take into consideration the testicle incident. (Once again, I find myself discussing this. I really did not anticipate ever having Lidstrom's genitalia as a conversation topic in my life.) The Unofficial Awards are a tradition started in 2002. They're very much Red Wing-centric, and I refuse to apologize for this. Also, a lot of the awards were stolen from my high school yearbook. You've been warned.

So, without further ado, I bring you the 7th annual Unofficial NHL Awards...

The Class Couple Award goes to...Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. Previous winners include Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. In fact, it should really be re-named after them, what with all of the discussion of renaming the real NHL awards to honor more modern players. It's fairly obvious why the commish and his Little Buddy won, so I won't go into depth.
Runners up: Tyler Kennedy and his stick, and my brother and Johan Franzen.

The Hatfield-McCoy Enemies Award goes to Mike Ilitch and Gary Bettman. Kudos to Mr. Ilitch for snubbing Bettman the same way the commish's Little Buddy snubbed Lidstrom. It's nice to see that at least one NHL owner has the guts to stand up to Bettman.
Runners up: Crosby and Ovechkin--this one isn't going away anytime soon, and me and Brad Watson.

Most Likely to Start a Revolution: Alex Ovechkin. Because, seriously, would you dream of giving this award to anyone else? Also, during my freshman year of high school, there was actually a crazy Russian kid who won this award. So there's some historical basis for my selection. Like his celebrations or not, his kind of personality is exactly what the NHL needs. Whether he's trying (and scoring on) absurd plays that nobody else would even attempt, pissing off Don Cherry, or stealing golf karts and almost decapitating himself, he is without question, the NHL's resident lunatic.
Runners up: Sean Avery and T.J. Oshie, mostly because I couldn't think of anyone else.

The Invisibility Cloak Award goes to Henrik Zetterberg for rendering Sidney Crosby absolutely useless for the second consecutive Finals. Crosby is going to be having nightmares about Hank shadowing his every move for the rest of the summer. Every time he sets foot near the Stanley Cup, he's going to be glancing over his shoulder just to make sure Z and his beard aren't there to take it away from him.
Runners up: Nick Lidstrom because he pretty much does that to anyone he faces, and Colin Campbell for shrouding the NHL's disciplinary process in a cloud of mystery.

The Golden Pretzel Award for Epic Choking goes to the San Jose Sharks. Remember when we thought they were going to be the Wings' biggest obstacle to repeating as champs? Yeah, neither do I. It was that long ago. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I was rooting for Anaheim to upset them, just so I could laugh. It was probably the only time I've ever wanted the Ducks to win a hockey game that didn't involve Charlie Conway.
Runners up: Marty Brodeur in the last 1:20 of Game 7 against Carolina and the Wings for failing to rise to the occasion during either of their two chances to clinch the Stanley Cup.

The Brainiac Award goes to the Wings' very own Ken Holland. I can't help but think that if he had gone into scientific research instead of hockey, cancer would've been cured, I'd have a flying car, and robots would run the Taco Bell drive through so my order would be made correctly.
Runners up: Mike Babcock and Rocky Wirtz.

The List Award (as in, "You're on my list.") is presented to the Freep's very own Drew Sharp. There's something utterly condescending in his tone when he writes about the Wings (and possibly anything else. I wouldn't know. The only time I bother to read his work is when it involves hockey.). You get the feeling that he really doesn't like hockey at all. Sometimes I'm sure he wants the Wings to lose. Like when he wrote this article. To be fair though, there were a lot of qualified candidates who could've won this award, and it was a pretty tough choice.
Runners up: PYG, Gary Bettman, Sidney Crosby, and the writers of the Pens Blog.

Mr. Invisible goes to Marian Hossa for completely disappearing in the Finals (and all but the preceding Game 4s). I was waiting to pass judgment on him because I had been saying that he looked injured since early on in the playoffs, but he claims to be healthy and thus lacks an excuse for his lousy production. You'd think that a guy on the verge of being an NHL punch-line for the rest of his career would've been able to muster a bit more of an effort when he was within reach of both the Stanley Cup and complete validation for his decision.
Runners up: Jiri Hudler because for the life of me, I don't remember seeing him on the ice at all during the last two rounds. The only reason he didn't win the award was because Hossa had much higher stakes. I almost went with Crosby for the second runner up, but I figured I pick on him enough, so I'll go with Patrick Kane. Aside from that time Franzen stole his mouthguard, Kane had an entirely forgettable Western Conference Finals series.

Speaking of the mouthguard incident, I'll go ahead and give the Mule the Class Clown Award. I've probably watched this video three dozen times, and it never fails to make me laugh.
Runners up: I'll go with Pavel Datsyuk for being an all around funny guy and that guy who plays Zetterberg in the fake NHL commercials.

The Apple Polisher Award goes to Sidney Crosby. We can all be pretty certain that apples aren't the only thing he's polishing for Gary Bettman.
Runners up: Pierre McGuire, who coincidentally appears to also spend a good deal of time polishing his own head, and Scott Walker because he had to do some epic sucking up to avoid getting suspended for his little sucker-punch.

In our first shocking upset of the night, I'm awarding the Golden Elbow Award to Scott Niedermayer. Believe me, wresting this one from the clutches of his teammate and 6-time winner, Chris Pronger.You.Goon, was quite a feat. Pretty much going after a Lady Byng winner/nominee who clearly didn't want to fight after a game that his team won was the only way anyone was going to defeat Pronger. Lo and behold, that's exactly what Niedermayer did after the Ducks won Game 6 against the Wings. He even threw in furtive peek at the referees before he landed his elbow. It was classic form.
Runners up: PYG just for being himself and Evgeni Malkin for his elbow that "kind of rode up" all the way into Franzen's face.

The Master Thespian Award goes to Sidney Crosby, just for that epic dive he took when Maltby tapped him in the back of the leg. Seriously, I stopped watching the game and replayed it on my DVR three times trying to figure out what he was doing. The fact that I skipped back from the live game for even a second is saying something because it's entirely possible that I would let my own mother die if she happened to choke during a Wings playoff game.
Runners up: Gary Bettman for coming this close to concealing his utter glee when he presented the Cup to Crosby and Chris Osgood for sparking the scrum that led to the Zetterberg/Malkin fight.

And finally, the Unsung Hero Award goes to Darren Helm. On a team highlighted by superstars, this kid who spent the majority of the season in the minors not only looked like he belonged, but oftentimes like he was the best player wearing a Winged Wheel. His epic penalty kill during Game 5 of the Chicago series was one of the highlights of the season. There were games during which I'm pretty sure he never left the ice because it seemed like he was hitting someone or beating them to a loose puck every 10 seconds. Surrounded by Lidstrom, Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Rafalski, Franzen, Hossa and the rest of the bunch, it's easy to overlook him, but man he had a hell of a playoff run.
Runners up: Chris Osgood for never getting one tenth of the credit he deserves and Justin Abdelkader for knocking in twice as many goals as Sidney Crosby during the Finals.

Hey, I Recognize Those Guys...

Good lord, where to start? These are the kinds of games that you want to relish and relive in your memory. Which is good, because I sometimes still have nightmares replaying last year's Game 5. Not that this will ever relieve the sting from that loss, it goes a long way toward removing the unpleasant aura that still hangs around it. (Interesting to note, the Wings have won all three of their Game 5s during this playoff run, which is nice since it tends to be an important one in a 2-2 series like two of them have been.) For the first time in this series, the Wings actually showed up and played Red Wings hockey. It was quite a pleasant experience, and I can only hope that they realize that they need to bring the same stuff for Game 6.

I'll start off by stating the obvious: Dangle Dangle's return was epic. I wanted nothing more than for him to score, but I'll settle for two assists any day. He looked good out there. He was making plays and backchecking and doing the little things that nobody outside of Detroit appreciates. There were a few moments where he looked a little slow, but having him back in the lineup was a huge boost.

The other player of note tonight? Chris Osgood. The man has now posted three Stanley Cup Finals shutouts in the last two years. Take that, Ozzie bashers. Tonight was a big game, and nobody shows up for big games better than #30.

The first period was fairly typical of Wings games this season. Except for the part where I'm pretty sure the first whistle didn't come until the first commercial break. I'm not going to lie, that was pretty fun to watch, from the standpoint of a pure hockey fan. No other sport can compete with that.

The Wings didn't start out too well. During the first few minutes, I was majorly anxious. I even had to put my traditional playoff game Slurpee down because I kept choking on it/nearly poking my eye out on the straw. This says a lot about my emotional state, because nothing keeps me from a good Slurpee. It's an addiction surpassed only by my allegiance to the Red Wings, and possibly roller coasters.

Then the Wings seemed to figure things out. They started carrying the play. They were taking it to Pittsburgh. But then Kronwall was called for a penalty. And I was devastated. At that point, I decided that they were going to lose and that I would be forced to spend all of next season watching clips of Crosby carrying the Cup during commercial breaks.

We all know that the PK has been pathetic all season, so my fears were at least partially justified. Needless to say, I was thrilled when the Wings managed to kill it off. Sammy, who I semi-unfairly criticize a lot, turned in a nice defensive play that took away a scoring chance. After the kill, I started wondering to myself if that PK might have been a statement. I didn't dare say that out loud, and immediately turned my thoughts back to other things, but I was thinking it.

Not long after they killed off the penalty, Datsyuk set Cleary up for what ended up being the game winner. I don't know what the injury was that made his status questionable, but thank goodness it wasn't serious enough to keep him out. And for Datsyuk, talk about making an immediate impact after missing seven games. Welcome back, Pav. We missed you.

Going into the second period, I was feeling cautiously optomistic. I liked what I was seeing from the boys, but a one-goal lead doesn't mean a whole lot in the NHL. So I returned to my spot on the couch (Yes, I have a spot. Nobody is willing to sit within arm-flailing distance of me during hockey games.) and re-assumed my semi-fetal position. Little did I know what was in store for me.

In the second, the Wings did what they do best: they scored a lot of goals and really pissed their opponents off while managing to not take a single penalty. And the result was beautiful.

During the Finals, the powerplay, much like the PK, has been a bit of a trouble spot. Troubled enough that it allowed a shorthanded goal during Game 4. The boys chose a heck of a time to break out of their slump. They scored three goals in less than ten minutes, all on the powerplay. It looked just like the second period on Thursday, but happier. The Pens pretty much unraveled, and it had shades of Game 4 of the Chicago series. Somehow, this was much more fun, though.

Filppula is another guy who I rip on a lot. Especially for his hair. And I know that it's sometimes unfair, but it's important to understand that I do it because I care. Anyway, Flipper, as I like to call him, has now come up with two huge backhand goals in the Finals, and that's a contribution that's worth recognizing. Accordingly, I'll lay off the haircut jokes next time they show his team picture on TV. But only once. You have to earn your free passes 'round these parts.

It was also nice to see Hossa get an assist on the goal. Aside from Datsyuk, there is nobody I wanted to see score more than #81. I don't think he could buy a goal at this point. Not even when Datsyuk set him up for that beautiful scoring chance right in the paint. But an assist is something. It's more than Crosby and Malkin combined for tonight. So there.

I didn't have to wait long for the Wings to strike again. This time it was Kronwall looking like a forward and bringing the puck from the corner through three Pittsburgh players and firing past MAF. I had a moment of confusion because I couldn't figure out how he ended up down there, a point which also seemed to baffle Mickey, but I decided that I didn't care all that much how he ended up in that corner, just so long as the puck ended up in the Penguins' net.

A little more than two minutes later, Brian Rafalski added the Wings' fourth goal. It was at this point that I was finally able to release my dog from the chokehold I'd had her in since the start of the game. Datsyuk picked up his second assist of the night, and it was nice to see Homer right up in Marc-Andre Fleury's face where he belongs.

It was right around this time that they showed a close-up of Pierre McGuire on the screen. My father, being an ever-lovable man-child, dropped this quote, which will forever live in our family's quotation lore: "You know, with all the money they spend powdering that guy's head so it doesn't shine, you'd think they could afford to buy him a hairpiece. Or a really nice hat." This has nothing to do with the game itself, but I had to share.

Not long after that, the Wings added their fifth and final goal of the night, courtesy of Henrik Zetterberg. There really isn't enough that I can say about this man. He does it all. Night after night after night. It's really a credit to him that I barely even noticed Sidney Crosby until he took a slashing penalty late in the period. Z wasn't just a blanket tonight. He was an invisibility cloak. (Yes, I realize that any street cred I had built up before is gone now that I've made a Harry Potter reference in my hockey blog. It's okay; it was bound to happen sooner or later.) Crosby looked quite upset that he wasn't getting his way. So much for being more mature this time around. The fact that he's nominated for a leadership award is an absolute joke. He has the same air of entitlement that made me hate the rich kids I went to high school with. It's like he expects the Cup to just be given to him because he's special, whereas a guy like Hank knows that he's going to have to work his ass off to get it. And that is the essence of why I hate Crosby so much.

It was also nice to see Jiri Hudler pick up an assist on Z's goal, since I'd been commenting on how invisible he'd been up until this point. Seeing MAF get yanked (to be "rested") was not unpleasant either.

The boys looked a little shaky to start the third period, but they seemed to get it in gear after the first few minutes. I'm still not sure what Hossa was doing when he took that goalie interference penalty right at the start, but it ended up not mattering, so I'm willing to let it go.

My family couldn't understand why I was just as anxious during the third as I had been at the start of the game. All through Pittsburgh's powerplay, I was on edge hoping against all hope that the Wings would kill it off for Ozzie's sake. I wanted this shutout. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it. I wanted it for the Wings and for the fans, but mostly I wanted it for Ozzie. I wanted it so that he could take it and wave it in the face of each and every one of his critics. And I got it. A lot will depend on the outcome of Game 6, and possibly (please, Hockey Gods, no) Game 7. But if, if, if the Wings win, you had better believe there'll be a queue of Osgood-naysayers in the locker room waiting their turn for his retribution.

There's not a whole lot left to say. The third period was pretty much what I expected it to be. Some random notes:

-The crowd was amazubg toward the end of the game. They sang almost the whole chorus of "I Wanna Rock'n'Roll All Night" after they stopped the music over the PA.
-I had no idea Lebda got a game misconduct until I looked at the box score. I don't even know what he did. Now I'm going to have to go back and check it out on my DVR.
-Z turned in an easy 20:55 of ice time tonight. It's good to see his minutes down a little, even though I don't buy the whole tired-from-chasing-Crosby-around thing. There's no doubt that Datsyuk's return helped a little in that regard.
-Dangle Dangle played 17:38, which I have to admit is a little more than I expected from him. It's interesting to note that he didn't play at all on either PK. Hopefully he doesn't have any set-backs with his foot, and will be good to go on Tuesday.
-Babcock's response (via Snapshots) to a question about using the Penguins' players' comments about the Wings looking tired as psychological fuel to get up for Game 5: "I don't know. When we play well do our guys talk about their team like that?" I hate to keep harping on it, but it always seems to come down to classiness. It doesn't help on the scoreboard, but it sure makes me feel all warm and fuzzy as a fan.
-Did anyone else notice how sad Gary Bettman looked when they showed him on TV? He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Impartial? I think not. Now, Bettman defenders (are there actually any out there?) might say that he was disappointed that the game had gotten out of hand and wasn't more compelling for a national TV audience, but I choose to believe otherwise.
-At one point (I can't remember if it was during the second or third period) Franzen and Hossa made a Malkin sandwich along the boards. This made me smile, just like Datsyuk's hit on him did earlier in the game.

What a turn-around from Game 4. Thursday night and most of Friday, I was miserable. You would've thought that the world was ending. Now, for a few brief moments that I'm going to allow myself to enjoy for the first time in a long time, everything seems right in the world. That's not to say that tomorrow morning I won't wake up right back in super-stress mode, but on this evening, I'll go to bed smiling. I won't allow myself to think too far ahead, because there's no surer way to jinx things than to assume that they are going to go your way. This furthers the thesis of this blog (Can a blog have a thesis? I don't care. This one does. I'm a grad student. My text messages have thesis statements.), which is that Red Wings hockey is like crack. You go through epic highs and downright miserable lows, but nothing deters you from coming back for more. No matter how awful you felt after Game 4, you couldn't not watch Game 5. There is a need, a compulsion that sucks you in every time. And the bad news for friends and family? There's no 12-step program for Wings addicts.

A Piss Poor Day in My LIfe...

So today was miserable. It was filled with leftover angst from Game 4, ridiculous amounts of personal drama, and the lurking sense of dread that accompanies every must-win playoff game. On top of that, I'm probably going to be missing the first half of Game 5, so I've already warned my boss that I'm going to be curled up in the breakroom in a fetal position for the last hour or so of work.

I was planning on going through the lineup calling out all of the Wings who have been under-performing, but quite frankly, I don't have the time. Plus, I don't want it to sound like I'm turning my back on my boys. Depending on how Game 5 goes, maybe I'll be forced to revisit the idea during the extra day off.

I forced myself to read all of the coverage on the several websites that I read. I even made it through the Pens Blog, although that was much easier because they don't seem to be fond of using words. This was an example of one of the many masochistic tendencies that I've picked up over the years as a Wings fan. No matter how much it hurts, I'm drawn to it. Like an insect to a bug-zapper lamp. Or the way you can't help but stare at roadkill. I didn't finish my daily hockey reading until about five minutes ago, thanks to work and a heavy dose of roommate conflicts today. Now that I'm done, I'm thoroughly depressed. I realize that this is pathetic, but it comes with the territory. And you know that. You're the same way. Otherwise you would settle for skimming the sports section and wouldn't be caught within the blast radius of my suddenly violently angry hockey blog.

Babcock says Datsyuk will be in for Game 5. Bingo Bango says that's a lie. I don't know what to believe. I'm choosing not to think about it so that I can make it through ten hours of work tomorrow.

Also according to Bingo Bango, the Tigers are jinxing the Wings. I'm not much of a believer in these kinds of things, but at this point, I'm going to be avoiding anyone with knowledge of the Tigers' score like they have swine flu.

There is one, and only one, glimmer of hope right now. And it is that the Wings have yet to play well. This sounds completely contradictory and nonsensical, I know, but let me explain. They've played like crap for the most part, but still find themselves tied 2-2. So now it's a new series, sort of. And they have the opportunity to turn it around. We'll see if they've got the kind of character we all think they do. It's terrible that they wasted the lead they built in Games 1 and 2, but they're still halfway through the series.

I don't buy the stuff about the Wings being too tired at the end of Game 4. I just think that they checked out somewhere around the mid-point of the game, and thus looked like they couldn't have won a game in a nursing home broomball league.

I'm also not a big believer in game-to-game momentum. Within a game itself, there is most definitely momentum. And it's fairly obvious (or at least I think so, but it could just be that I'm a hockey snob) which team is dominating. But I've never been one to believe that that kind of thing carries over. Anger might, but momentum is the kind of thing that has to be established from the beginning of the game. And it can change on a dime, which is what makes hockey so addicting and also so frustrating. It's why you could walk on air when the Wings win, and vow to never watch another second of hockey in your life when they lose. You know you'll be back, even if it kills you.

What the Wings really need is for their scorers to show up for Game 5. Goals by Darren Helm and Jonny E are fun to talk about and make for a great story-line, but when your back is against the wall, it's time for the big guns to step up and earn their paychecks.

The long story short is that the Wings have the Stanley Cup within their reach. They have it within their power to stick it to Gary Bettman and cement their claim to a dynasty. Whether or not they do so is entirely up to them. If they roll over and die again like they did in Game 4, the series is over and I'll be forced to spend the entirety of next season throwing up in my mouth every thirty seconds when they run a Sidney-Crosby-holding-the-Cup commercial. But if they show up to play like the unstoppable red machine that they are, well, maybe, just maybe, I'll be partying in Hart Plaza again this year.

So tomorrow, I'll wake up and go to work, like I always do. The good news is that I only have a week left at this job, so even if my co-workers think I'm a raving lunatic, it won't matter for long. I'll spend all of my down-time and probably some a significant portion of my busy time desperately attempting to cut a deal with the Hockey Gods. I'll probably swear a lot, because that's what I do when I'm stressed out. And if I'm lucky, I'll get home before the game. It worked last Saturday. But most likely, I'll be standing in front of the TV mesmerized and completely neglecting my job.

And for now...Hockey Gods, if you're listening, just about anything is up for grabs. My car, my Scotty Bowman bobblehead, my soul, my rally rag/security blanket from last year. My Steve Yzerman jersey stays with me, but you're free to claim dibs on my firstborn child, if you're interested.

Not Worth My Time...

Go away. There's nothing to see here. It's not like I was openly weeping on Woodward or anything. (I actually wasn't. I swear.)

I had a bad feeling about this game right from the start, which combined with the general lousiness of my day has me in that all too frequent playoff mood in which I claim to never wish to see a hockey game again. This will, of course, change. I'll wake up tomorrow and go to work. I'll probably scare some co-workers who happen to look at me the wrong way, and then I'll be back online obsessively reading blogs in search of the latest news. It happens every time.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night after having a dream/nightmare that the game went to OT. Then I drove for an hour to drop some stuff off in my new apartment, and I discovered that the other subletter had stolen my bedroom. So I got to spend a bunch of time on the phone with the girl I'm subletting from trying to straighten things out, and now my new roommate officially hates me. Whatever. I can live with that. I thought maybe an afternoon trip to Ikea would help me commune with the Wings' Swedish legion, but apparently victories are the only thing you can't buy there. Then I headed down to the Hockeytown Cafe with some friends. What happened to all of the fun stuff they were doing in the first round? I was looking forward to the trivia and raffles and pom poms. We ended up in that dive bar up on the top level. My bar stool was so rickety that it took a minor miracle to help it survive the night. It also helped that, much like the Wings, I pretty much shut down halfway through the second period and stopped bouncing up and down every time either team had a scoring chance. To make matters worse, as soon as the game was over, they pumped up the volume and started blasted the Numa Numa song. It was like the final insult of the day. Actually it wasn't, because when we got back to my car, I realized that the gas light was on and it was a race against time to get out of Detroit before being forced to stop at a gas station, which every good suburban girl knows is a major no-no.

On top of that, Datsyuk sat out once again. This time he took the pre-game skate, apparently only in order to drive a knife further through my hopes and dreams while simultaneously ripping out my fingernails. So were we just playing mindgames all day saying he was probably in? Right now, I don't even care. I'm not going to even attempt a recap.

At this point in the series, it's fairly apparent that the only two Red Wings interested in winning the Stanley Cup are Henrik Zetterberg and Darren Helm. Everyone else seems to be just going through the motions. None of them even look like they care. And that's honestly the part that stings the most about this particular loss. Ozzie's really trying, but when you get hung out to dry by your defense like that, there's not a whole lot you can do. I certainly can't blame him for any of the goals he let in.

On the other end of the ice, MAF had a disgustingly easy night. He obviously made the saves when he had to, but there weren't any that stand out in my mind as being spectacular.

Possibly my favorite clip of the night was when Versus showed a freeze-frame of the Penguins entering the zone on the play that led to their first goal. Now I couldn't hear the sound in the bar, but it sure looked like they were offside. Not that it would really matter since the Wings lost by two, but I feel obligated to continue my crusade against the NHL officials.

In the second period, the Wings came out and actually looked pretty good. When they went up less than a minute in, I was starting to feel a strange and rare emotion that must be something akin to happiness. They seemed to be carrying the play. Then they got a powerplay. And they got another one after that. And then Pittsburgh scored. Which, if I'm not mistaken, isn't supposed to happen. Giving up shorthanded goals in the Stanly Cup Finals is simply unacceptable. There's no excuse for it. Not only can they not kill off penalties to save their lives, they can't even make it through their own friggin powerplay without giving up a goal. And to make matters worse, after that, the Wings just seemed to shut down. It was after Crosby's goal that I said, "Oh my god, we're gonna lose this game." I knew it then, deep down. I allowed myself to hope for a little while because if any team can lay down some offensive fire power, it's the Wings, but I didn't really expect it to happen. In my mind I was already concentrating on making excuses for why I won't be attending my softball game on Tuesday.

My second favorite highlight of the night was about halfway through the third when Kirk Maltby decided to return Sidney Crosby's post-Game 1 love tap. Crosby dove in such an epic fashion that I was expecting a panel judges to award points for degree of difficulty. Then, he stayed down on the ice and limped his way back to the bench. Miraculousy, though, he didn't seem to miss a shift. Maybe I'm just old-school, but if you're hurt enough to stay down in your own zone while your team is still trying to clear the puck, then you had better be hurt enough to at least need some work from the trainer. Get back in the play. This isn't basketball, despite what your sugar daddy Bettman may have told you.

I don't know why, but this picture from NHL.com really amused me. I really feel like it sums up the game well.


First off, it looks like Homer's having himself a good cry there. Which is understandable given the amount of turnovers he's given up during this series. Babcock looks like he's whispering sweet nothings into Z's ear (not that I can blame him...). Z looks like he's using some sort of Jedi mind trick on Crosby. Cleary is apparently staring off into space or being distracted by a bumble bee, which I can only assume were popular pass-times on the Wings bench during the second period.

Now I realize that this post has been excessively angry, but that comes with the territory of being a die-hard fan. If you don't like it, then now's about time for you to hop off of the bandwagon. There are ups and there are downs. Right now, it feels like we're stuck at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. But remember Sunday night? We thought we were flying high. Things can turn around that quickly. At least that's what I'm telling myself so that I'll be able to sleep tonight. Tomorrow it's possible that I'll feel better, but probably only if I make a trip to the batting cages. There's something about hitting balls using a large metal bat that I've always found therapeutic.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Five! Look, I Could Be an NHL Referee!...

I missed the second half of the game tonight, so I don't have much to say about that. By the time I got around to watching it on my DVR, the bleak reality of the loss had already sunk in, and I found it a little hard to care. I forced myself to watch the whole thing, because I felt some strange, irrational obligation. Or maybe it's just the inherent masochistic tendency that is a mandatory part of being a Red Wings fan.

Anyway, the Wings didn't get off to a particularly good start. If I were a rational, objective person, I might find it amusing how often I recap games this way. But I'm not. And it pisses me off. I understand that every once and a while a team might have an off-game where it takes a little longer to get rolling. It happens. But this consistently, and in the Stanley Cup Finals? Come one. I've been banging my head against walls over this for the better part of eight months now.

Then...Talbot. That name still sends chills down my spine. It just so happens that this was the one-year anniversary of Game 5, aka one of the most horrific nights of my life. And it's fairly obvious that Maxime Talbot was determined to drive another spike through my heart. I don't want to talk any more about the goal, except to once again point out that the Wings' PK absolutely sucks. Like the slow start issue, there's no plausible explanation for this. I like to think I'm a pretty smart girl, and for the life of me, I can't wrap my head around it.

And then there was Zetterberg tying it up with a beautiful shot. There's nothing more to say about this guy. He looks like he's determined to win the Cup all by himself. He didn't have a spectacular regular season, but man is he on a roll now. You just know that every single one of the Penguins is waking up covered in cold sweat and their own urine thanks to the night terrors they're having about Hank and his "will tank."

After the man-love of my brother's life gave the Wings the lead, I was feeling much better than I had all day. I knew it didn't mean much, but it's always more fun to watch when your boys are leading.

The Too Many Men on the Ice Incident really riled me up. I figured that the Wings would be fighting an extra man tonight thanks to all of Pittsburgh's whining about non-calls and Gary Bettman's obvious affection for Sidney Crosby, but I didn't think that would literally mean an extra man. Somewhere, every single Columbus Blue Jackets player and fan is crying in their beer thinking about Franzen's series-clinching powerplay goal at the end of Game 4. I don't want to hear any more complaining from Pittsburgh fans about how the referees are handing the series to the Wings.

Things like this are why the NHL is a joke to most Americans. And it's not a conspiracy. It's incompetence. Incompetence that is allowed to fester by the NHL's refusal to hold its officials accountable for their performance. And far too frequently, that incompetence, like herpes I presume, rears its ugly head and exposes the NHL for the second-rate organization that it is.

I'm not a big football fan, most likely due to growing up with the Lions, but I seem to remember an incident in the fall where a referee blew a call. And it was obvious. And it cost a team a game. And it could have impacted their playoff chances. What did he do afterward? He admitted that he made a mistake and apologized to the team and fans who had been slighted. The NFL said that it grades each official on every play of every game and uses those rankings to determine eligibility to work the playoffs or keep their job. Accordingly, this referee was downgraded. He was held responsible for his mistake, but I had to respect him for his class.

A couple of weeks ago, there was a controversial call in an NBA playoff game. Apparently one team was trying to foul the other near the end of the game, and the foul didn't get called (I've never understood the logic of a sport in which you sometimes want to be called for a foul, but I'm not really a basketball person either.). This non-call cost a team the game because the game-winning three-pointer was scored after the foul should've been called. The NBA came out and publicly admitted that there had been a mistake, and that the mistake had influenced the outcome of the game. While it didn't change the score, at least they at least acknowledged that an error had been made.

Contrast that to the NHL's reaction to things like The Goal That Wasn't. When faced with an obvious travesty of a call, what did the NHL do? It closed ranks and defended Brad Watson, stubbornly refusing to hold him accountable for his poor job-performance. And it's not just calls that have gone against the Wings. It's been happening in almost every game during the playoffs, league-wide. The worst part, other than taking the game out of the players' hands, is that it makes the league, the sport, and the rabid fans like myself look like complete jokes. It's been going on for a long time, and Gary Bettman's ignorance of the problem, refusal to implement changes, and/or complete and utter disregard for its effects on the game is almost criminal.

OK, back to the game.

Shortly after Pittsburgh's free mini-powerplay, they got a real one. It was during this powerplay that I almost screamed at the bartender because she leaned in and stuck her face right in front of mine to ask if I wanted anything to drink right as Crosby was breaking toward Ozzie with the puck. From the look on my face and the fact that I was literally sitting in a vertical fetal position in my chair, she clearly should've been able to tell that I was not in need of a beverage. Medical attention, perhaps, but not a beverage. She never came back after that. It's possible that I frightened her.

The Wings looked much better during the second period. They really carried the play for most of the time, but didn't seem to get the kind of traffic in front of the net that they usually do. I noticed this a lot more while I was watching it on my DVR because I wasn't completely losing my mind in the heat of the moment. There were several instances where loose pucks and rebounds were cleared from in front of the net because the Wings hadn't driven to the net.

Sammy had a breakaway. He hit the post. What else would you expect from a Mikael Samuelsson breakaway, though? At least he put it sort of on net...sort of.

Helm had a little bit of a rough night today. I think the Pens were tired of him running around them in circles and decided to teach him a lesson. He almost got his face sliced open with a skate after getting knocked down, so at least we know the kid has some luck around him.

Kunitz had a nice little cross-check to Franzen's head. What can I say? Once a Duck, always a Duck. Seems like Pronger.You.Goon has taught him well. On the other hand, it was nice to see the national announcers calling the Penguins out for a change. They seemed as incredulous as I was that the Too Many Men Incident wasn't called, and outright said that Kunitz was lucky to have gotten away with that.

The Ericsson penalty was pretty cheap, especially in light of the way things have been called all series. My softball team officially thinks I'm nuts thanks to the goal scored on the ensuing powerplay. I had a friend texting me score updates, and I pulled my phone out in between plays, saw that the Pens had taken the lead, and immediately began to cuss while standing in the middle of the infield. Mostly they were confused because one of our outfielders had just made a really good catch and everyone else was clapping and congratulating him.

(I realize at this point that I've spent a significant amount of time complaining about the officiating. That isn't entirely fair. The Wings couldn't find a way to score in the second period when they dominated, and then they let the Pens have their way with them for most of the third. Still, I demand excellence from myself at school and work, and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the same level of performance from professional referees who have been chosen, presumably for their expertise [although in the NHL, that has to be considered a relative term], to work in the championship series. Sure, my standards are a little high, but I don't think that's unreasonable.)

Babcock sounded pretty riled up at his presser. It wasn't so much what he said as the way he said it. He wouldn't take the bait when the reporter asked him about the Too Many Men Incident, and just walked away. I also have to say that at this point, the Pens' coach hasn't managed to make me angry yet. In fact, it seems like he's actually...a decent guy. I suspect that it's because he's from Michigan. We're a little better class of folks up here in the Mitten.

That's all I have for now. This loss hurts a lot and I'm not in much of a mood to relive it. I didn't really think they were going to sweep, but it would've felt so nice. Plus, now I have to find someone to cover my shift Saturday night so I can watch Game 5.

Exoneration for Hossa...

It's kind of amusing to think about in the few rational, objective moments that I suffer through, but I'm still hovering in a state of near-panic despite the fact that my boys are leading the series 2-0. I have my reasons (they haven't played particularly well, Datsyuk's still out and not likely to return, and Malkin continues to terrify me), but I just can't imagine a lot of other fans still wallowing in fear when their team was leading a series like that. It's okay, though. It's how I know that I'm hard core.

I wanted to post this, which I stole from A2Y, which apparently received it from someone else. I'm not 100% on the chain of custody, but here it is:


This clearly shows Hossa slashing Dupuis' stick in half Dupuis breaking his own stick on Hossa's foot. That dirty, no-good Hossa! How dare he allow Dupuis to break his stick over his foot before stealing the puck? I tell ya, it's guys like him who are really ruining the game of hockey.

Most of what I'm getting from the Pens fans has sounded a lot like whining. It's perfectly understandable when you consider who their Captain is, so I'll let it slide.

The media is still giving plenty of "lip service" to Crosby and his band of merry flightless birds. This, of all of the things the NHL does, is the one that will never cease to amaze me. I'll write about this more later. I'm going to hold off on it until somebody takes home a trophy that means something.

All of a sudden, people are paying a lot of attention to the Wings' rookies. Normally when your minor-leaguers are called on to substitute for injured stars in the playoffs, that doesn't bode well for your team. Instead, they're driving point production. Why? The top two lines are pretty much cancelling each other out with good defensive plays. That leaves the kids to run wild and work their magic. I said it in my series preview: "Even if the Wings have to "cancel out" their top two lines defending Crosby and Malkin, I like their odds in a battle of third and fourth lines. I've said it ten million times over the course of my fandom, but the Wings bottom lines just can't be matched by anyone else in the league." It looks like I was right. Also, you know, the part about Zetterberg owning Crosby again.

Oh Oh, We're Halfway There...

I said one thing before the Finals started, and I'll say it again. When they write the book on this series, the story is going to be that of Henrik Zetterberg vs. Crosby/Malkin. Sure there might be some subplots about depth, rookies, lively boards, and goalies, but the heart of the story is going to be written by the reigning Conn Smythe winner and his defensive match-ups. (If Datsyuk were playing, he'd be co-protagonist, but he's not.) And tonight continued to prove me right.

First of all, I have to congratulate Marc-Andre Fleury, who managed to go a whole game without shitting a puck into his own net. Unless you count Abdelkader's goal, that is.

Secondly, I learned a very important lesson tonight. Eating rice with chopsticks while watching playoff hockey is a really good way to nearly poke your own eye out. Or to choke. Yeah, I had not one, but two near-death experiences whilst trying to eat the nasty fried rice that was left in the fridge.

The Wings had an average start. Their first couple of shifts looked tentative, but they improved after than. Then, somewhere around the ten-minute mark, they decided that it was nap-time or snack time or time to look at Swedish porn or...something. Who knows? Whatever it was caused them to completely check out of the game. Accordingly, Pittsburgh scored their first and only goal of the game. Well, sort of. Brad Stuart made like Marc-Andre Fleury and put the puck in his own net on the PK. I spent the rest of the period counting down the time until intermission. The Wings were incredibly lucky to escape the first only down by a goal.

During that intermission, Mike Babcock, sports psychology genius, must've given one hell of a pep talk, because the Wings decided to re-enter the game. From that point on, it was all Detroit, on the scoreboard at least. Even though the Wings scored three straight goals, and held the Pens off for the rest of the night, Pittsburgh had way too many good chances for my liking. The good news is that the Wings continued to get the bounces and lucky breaks that stole the show in Game 1.

At one point, Z saved a goal by laying down on the goal line and blocking the puck. The play went under review, and accordingly, I nearly passed out from holding my breath, but my rational mind knew that there was no way they could overrule the ref's no-goal call. There simply was no camera angle that showed anything. That puck may very well have been over the goal line. Was it? I suspect only Henrik Zetterberg knows that, and I doubt he's willing to tell. Z played yet another amazing game, not that I'd expect anything less from the man. Once again, he's owned Crosby. Seriously, though. Z's been an absolute beast on the defensive side of the puck. This is how he gets his jollies. Some people get drunk, some people go sky-diving, some people live vicariously through themselves. Hank simply selects a target and completely owns said hockey player. Not only is he owning Crosby, but he seems to have gotten to Malkin, as well. I think he's inside every single one of the Penguins' heads, like Mel Gibson in that stupid movie. He knows every single one of their deepest, darkest thoughts. Such as: Max Talbot wants to have Z's children, MAF is having liposuction as soon as this series is over, and Bill Guerin is jealous of his beard. These are just a few of the less disturbing revelations that Z has come across, but I assure you, there are many, many more.

The Grand Rapids Griffins once again stole the show. Ericsson and Helm teamed up for the tying goal, with Helm winning the faceoff and heading straight to the front of the net to set up a screen. Abdelkader scored another early third period goal (this one at 2:47, one second later than his goal in Game 1). This is from A2Y, and pretty much says it all: "And meanwhile, maybe all those Pittsburgh fans were right. Maybe they can beat Detroit. But the question they should be asking is, can they beat the Grand Rapids Griffins? Justin Abdelkader and Jonathon Ericsson tonite. Abdelkader last night. Darren Helm all night, both nights. Like a frigging porn star." There's really nothing I can add to that. It has to be supremely frustrating for the Pens, what with their expectation of being able to walk all over the Wings with Dangle Dangle out and Lidstrom coming back from an injury, to find themselves being beaten by a bunch of kids who spent the whole regular season in the minors. No wonder Malkin went after Z at the end of the game.

Speaking of said fight, after a review process which lasted approximately .0347 seconds, the NHL announced that it was rescinding Malkin's automatic suspension. I'm not remotely surprised. It's a stupid rule anyway on account that it's almost never enforced. I have to say that I didn't enjoy it as much as I normally would, due to the fact that I was yelling, "Please don't break your face, or your hand, or veins in your brain!" I'd be lying, though, if I said I wasn't secretly hoping for Z to make like Darren McCarty in his classic New Year's Eve fight. Anyway, it just looked like a lot of frustration boiling over from a team that's probably played well enough to win, and yet finds themselves staring down the barrel of yet another 2-0 deficit. It would've been nice of Malkin to put his stick down before throwing punches, but at this point in the playoffs, I'll take what I can get. I've honestly never had a problem with Malkin before, but I think a little less of him now. Mostly for going after Z when he was being held back by the ref and clearly wanted no part of it. Satan tried to jump in and double team Z, but he apparently decided that it wasn't worth it. I hope I wasn't the only one amused by the fact that Malkin somehow ended up with both his and Z's jerseys attached to him.

Malkin probably shouldn't be the one who is frustrated, though. He's been in on both of the Pens' goals this series, and scared the crap out of me nearly every time he touched the puck. That's why they need Datsyuk back. They need him to work his magic on Malkin since Z's doing another spectacular job owning Crosby. The other Pens forward who consistently scared me was Miroslav Satan. I don't know why, but I heard his name called entirely too much inside the Wings' zone.

I know I mentioned Darren Helm earlier, but I really can't say enough about this kid. Kenny Holland needs to sign him to a long-term deal now while his price is still cheap. Once again, it seemed like he never left the ice. I decided that this is because he never has "invisible" shifts. Every single time he's out on the ice, he's doing something positive, whether it's forechecking, backchecking, checking, or even just skating really, really fast. Some guys have games in which you don't notice them until late in the third period, and you find yourself wondering where they've been for the whole game. Not so for Darren Helm. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ozzie played another fantastic game tonight. But for Stuart knocking that puck in, he might've pitched a shutout. As good as some of his saves were, he got a lot of help from his old buddies, the goal posts. Also, I think he's been taking puck-handling lessons from Dominick Hasek. I'm not sure he passed the puck to a Red Wing once all game. I was having flashbacks to all of the times I wanted to install a dog fence around the crease and give Dom a zap collar. I even own one now, so it would've been easy. (A dog fence, not a Hasek.)

Hossa also had a heck of a game. He knows that his psyche is on the line in this series, and it doesn't look like he wants to live with the emotional trauma that would result from choosing the wrong team to sign with. He very quietly turned in two assists.

And, just because he's so good that he often goes unnoticed/unmentioned...how about Nick Lidstrom? Two games, two goals allowed against the super-hyped Pittsburgh offense? Z gets a lot of the credit for his work on Crosby, but my God, it seems like Lidstrom's always there. Just when you think disaster is imminent, the Swede negates the play and then, presumably, returns to his hammock and Corona. Seriously. He's that relaxed. He should be in one of their commercials.

So now the series shifts to Pittsburgh, where hopefully Jean-Claude Van Damme doesn't need to make an appearance. With the Pens having the last change, it'll be harder to get the match-ups the Wings would like against the Crosby and Malkin lines. I wouldn't be surprised to see a little line-shuffling going on, but then again, Babs might not want to mess with a winning formula. I've got my fingers crossed that Datsyuk will be back, and I'm trying to work out a deal with the Hockey Gods, but I'm not all that optimistic. Filppula's done a decent job on Malkin in his absence, but, let's face it, you don't just replace Dangle Dangle.

The scary thing is that the Wings haven't played a real "Red Wings hockey" game yet this series. And yet they find themselves up 2-0 against the Penguins. If the Wings can bring their A-game on the road Tuesday/Thursday and get #13 back in the lineup, this might be a shorter series than everyone's predicting. One thing is for sure: they'll need to play better than they have been if they plan on keeping their home ice advantage. And you know that every man in a Penguins sweater is praying to the Hockey Gods that the Wings keep playing the way they have been. These two games could've gone either way, and it's mostly through good luck, some big saves, and the fourth line working its collective ass off that the Wings find themselves in this position.

The bottom line is: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and I will all be dreaming about Henrik Zetterberg tonight, but for decidedly different reasons...