Red Wings 6, Coyotes 3: Post Game Snipes...

• Pavel Datsyuk's pass to set up Homer's goal was just ridiculous. We should be used to him doing crazy things by now, but it's impossible not to marvel at the things he does with the puck.
• Homer's shot as he was falling was equally awesome.
• Phoenix got lucky as their first goal deflected in off of Ericsson's skate.
• As distressing as Franzen being a last-minute scratch was, it's kind of nice to be able to just pop a guy like Mike Modano into the lineup like that. Mo even picked up an assist on the first goal of the game.
• Darren Helm is everywhere. He's giving the Coyotes absolute fits. They don't even know what to do with him. It's deliciously fun to watch.
• Jimmy looked shaky in the first period, but got stronger as the game went on. That's better than the reverse.
• In hindsight, these late games aren't so bad. Watching hockey in the middle of the night means that my roommates who do not get hockey at all don't have to see me during the third period of a close playoff game. It's probably for the best.
• The Wings swept the first round without Henrik Zetterberg. And they played Game Four without the Mule. That should be scary for future opponents.
• So do you think Doan wants to rethink his proclamation of Bryzgalov as the best player in the series?
• Hopefully the Wings figure out their penalty kill between now and the start of Round Two. They did at least come up with a big kill in the third when the game was tied.
• I loved Jimmy's post-gamequote: “I'll smile in June.” Swagger is a beautiful thing when it comes from the Wings.
• I've been on the leave-Phoenix side of the debate from the beginning, just from a practicality standpoint. There's no point in forcing a franchise to stay where it can't be financially successful and causing all kinds of drama. The Coyotes' salute after the handshakes and seeing Shane Doan (who I still dislike) fighting back tears before starting his post-game interview did make me feel bad for the fans who do live in Phoenix.

Hero: Dan Cleary
He had a goal and two assists, and his game-winner gave us an excuse to do the Newfie Stomp. He also led the team in shots and was buzzing all night.

Villain: Shane Doan
Why does he hate Nick Lidstrom?

Final Thought:
This long wait for Round Two should give my blood pressure a nice break.

Red Wings 4, Coyotes 2: Post Game Snipes...

• Long story short: the Wings didn't play their greatest game, but they got lucky with some quick goals at the start of each period and that was enough.
• I've never seen Nick Lidstrom get hit as hard as he did early in the game.
• Game Four should be boatloads of fun. I'm sure the Coyotes won't be trying to injure anyone now that their backs are against the wall.
• Lidstrom only had 18 minutes of ice time. In a playoff game. That's crazy.
• Every game makes me like Phoenix less and less.
• The Wings' penalty kill was a disaster tonight. On the other hand, Phoenix's looked much better than it did in the first two games.
• I think Filppula took more shots in the first five minutes of the second period than he did for the entire regular season. I wish he'd do that more often.
• How about that pass Rig made to set up Franzen's goal? Pretty good, eh?
• This was an odd game. There were stretches where the Wings looked unstoppable, and the Coyotes didn't seem to have the slightest chance. Then, just as quickly, momentum would shift the other way and the tide would turn briefly.
• This is not an acceptable way to treat Nick Lidstrom.
• One more win to close out the series...skate to throat time, boys.

Hero: Jimmy Howard
He was on tonight. The Wings' defense hung him out to dry plenty of times, but he stood tall and kept them in the game.

Villain: Shane Doan
Yup, I still dislike him.

Final Thought:
The Wings are going to have to play better if they want to close out this series on Wednesday.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Three GP...

2 Red Wings vs. Coyotes 0

Random picture from a google images search of "Red Wings" that caught my fancy:

Three things:

• Sixty minutes—The Coyotes are going to be flying right from the start and the Wings have to set the tone early if they want to shut them down. And if Saturday taught anyone anything, it's that they can't afford to let down their guard ever, no matter how big their lead.
• Doan—He led the way for the Yotes with two goals in Game Two and a plethora of hits. He'll no doubt be lining up everything wearing red tonight. The Wings have to find a way to neutralize him somehow.
• Datsyuk—What does he have in store for fans tonight? If ever there was a reason to stay up for a late game, the answer to that question is probably it.

Red Wing Zen:

Justin Abdelkader

0-0-0, +/- 0, 4 PIM

Red Wings Youtube video of the day:

Red Wings 4, Coyotes 3: Post Game Snipes...

• Though I was at first devastated to discover that this game had been scheduled for Saturday afternoon (a time during which I'm at work), it turned out to be a rather fortunate occurrence. Since our office is dead on Saturdays, I was able to watch almost the entire game on the break room tv. The HD flatscreen we have in there was a huge upgrade over the choppy feeds to which I've been relegated since temporarily setting up shop in this hockey wasteland.
• My game recap will be posted over at CWGAP shortly, but I had a few more Wings-centric things I wanted to throw out there since I've been trying not to rant and rave too much about the only side that matters.
• Pavel Datsyuk was playing on a completely different level than anyone else today. Some of the things he does with the puck just aren't fair. That subtle move he pulled when he scored his goal? Disgusting. His cheeky between-the-legs shot that led to Helm's goal? Even more ridiculous. If he continues to play like this, the Wings are going to be very, very hard to beat.
• While Datsyuk excels at his shifty, sneaky, dangly, puck-on-a-string schtick, Tomas Holmstrom is every bit as good at his particular job. His deflection was impossibly good. He managed to reach behind him with his stick and tip a puck as he skated the opposite direction in front of the net. His screens played a huge factor in the Wings' offense all night. Simply put: nobody is better at Homer's job than Homer. Nobody.
• I don't necessarily think that Doan's hit on Franzen was dirty, but I also don't think it was necessary. That's one of those times when there's no need to finish a check on a vulnerable player. I feared the worst when Mule went down, but it looks like he got lucky and won't be missing any more time.
• I was oddly amused by the fact that he didn't even bother to wash the blood out of his mustache before returning to the game. He kind of looked like he tried to make out with a weed whacker. That's playoff hockey for you.
• That clip of Zetterberg practicing didn't exactly inspire hope that he'll return soon. At the beginning of it, I was excited thinking that it was a good sign, but when he limped off after stopping awkwardly, my heart sank.
• The first period was gloriously fun. It was the kind of hockey that brings joy to faces all over Hockeytown. The Wings were dominant and pressured Phoenix to the point that they started taking stupid penalties. I was feeling pretty good until they decided to take their foot off of the gas and let the Coyotes back in the game. It sure did make for an interesting ending, though.
• The Wings' near collapse in the third gave the Coyotes some hope, which needs to be eradicated early in Game Three. There's no need to drag this series out any longer than it has to, especially with Shane Doan intent on destroying everything wearing a Winged Wheel.

Hero: Pavel Datsyuk
Who can keep up with this guy right now?

Villain: Shane Doan
There's something about the playoffs that brings out the wrecking ball in Shane Doan. He was hitting everything in sight and managed to score two third period powerplay goals. Somebody stop him, please.

Final Thought:
Watching playoff hockey at work takes a lot of self-control.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Part Three...

The Ugly

• There was more ugly this season than I care to remember. It was a rough year for the team and us fans.
• Brad May’s no-goal was the most ridiculously bad call I’d ever seen at the time. Of course, Jim Joyce had to go and one-up him a few months later (Can you tell I’m still bitter?), but this was disgraceful and bungled by the NHL. Objectively speaking, the May call was worse than the one in the perfect game because of its sheer ridiculousness even though in context it mattered less. This was a perfect example of officiating incompetence by the NHL and makes a compelling argument against the intent to blow nonsense that has been plaguing the league.
• That was the worst incident by far, but the officiating all throughout the playoffs was a joke. It wasn’t just the Wings-Sharks series. I don’t think there was a single series that wasn’t influenced by lousy calls and pathetic excuses for refereeing. Not that any of us should be surprised. This is the only measure of consistency the NHL has.
• The Wings didn’t suffer from an injury bug this season. It was a full-blown plague. There were several stretches when the team was fielding a roster that was half Griffins. The Wings didn’t lose the most man games of any team in the league, but I would argue that they lost more important man games than anyone else. They weren’t losing grinders; it was the stars going down. November, December, and January were absolutely brutal. A casual fan probably wouldn’t have even recognized the team they were fielding during that stretch. Ugh.
• Doanface and Crosby’s Golden Roar were two of the most disturbing images I’ve seen. *shudder*
• Of course neither one of them can hold a candle to the Shetuzzi. This is the stuff of nightmares. Behold it in all of its glory:
  
• NBC and Versus continued to provide astonishingly bad coverage. The announcers are pathetically bad, and at one point, NBC missed a Wings goal right off of a faceoff because they were showing nonsense. These are the NHL’s broadcast partners. I can’t stand when they pick up Wings games.
  

Thoughts? Additions?

Unofficial NHL Awards for 2009-2010...

Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for my mock NHL awards. This tradition started several years ago and was originally based off of the mock awards that were voted on in high school. Over the years, they’ve evolved quite a bit and fake trophies come and go every season. The real NHL awards show doesn't take place until tomorrow night, but it's never too early to get into the spirit.

The Dr. Rahmani Award (comes with a free lasik procedure) goes to Dennis LaRue. When I saw the Brad May no-goal on TV, I really thought I’d seen the most obnoxiously bad call ever. Of course, then Jim Joyce came along and had to one-up him right in front of my eyes, but since these are NHL fake awards, it goes to LaRue.

The Hatfield-McCoy Enemies Award goes to Wings fans and referees. No season in recent memory has been plagued by more obnoxiously bad calls. Call us tin foil hat wearers all you want, but there were a boatload of legitimate complaints this season. The bad officiating was rampant throughout the league, but plays like the May goal, the shootout winner against Dallas, and the better part of the San Jose series only served to reinforce the notion.

The Golden Pretzel Award for Epic Choking goes to the Boston Bruins. They had a 3-game series lead and a 3-goal lead in Game Seven and still managed to lose. Seriously?

The Class Couple Award goes to Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. Previous winners include Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. In fact, it should really be re-named after them, what with all of the discussion of renaming the real NHL awards to honor more modern players. It's fairly obvious why the commish and his Little Buddy won, so I won't go into depth. (Yes, I did just copy/paste this from last year’s awards post.)

The List Award (as in, "You're on my list.") is awarded to Shane Doan. I honestly never had an issue with Doan until the Wings faced Phoenix in the first round. He very quickly made his way onto my list where he shall remain forever.

The Chosen Ones Award goes to the Chicago Blackhawks. Their Cup victory was everything the NHL could’ve dreamed of. They got there thanks to young stars they obtained by tanking for a long time and using high draft picks to make no-brainer selections. They’re a huge media market, and their stars are young, North American, and marketable. If it couldn’t be Pittsburgh…

The first annual Eavesed Award goes to (shockingly) Patrick Eaves for his hilarious contribution to the H2H festivities. We’ll be laughing about that one for years to come. (Stick tap to Jenn for this one.)

The Mr. Invisible Award goes to Jason Williams (Who?). I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I follow hockey pretty closely. Despite the amount of time I spend obsessing over the Wings, I always managed to find a way to forget about Williams. I know I wasn’t alone. Even when he was getting ready to come back from injury, the reporters included his progress as an afterthought several days later. Poor Willy. (Stick tap to Amanda for this one.)

The Goalie in A Past Life Award goes to Brad Stuart. How many goal line saves did he make this season? It seemed like every couple of games, he was knocking a puck out of the crease after it had gotten by the goalie.

The Master Thespian Award goes to the entire San Jose Sharks lineup for managing to make even professional soccer players shake their heads in disgust at their flopping. (Stick tap to Rob for this one.)

The Face Only A Mother Could Love Award goes to Shane Doan. His goal celebration in the first round inspired the awesome #Doanface photoshops. This could just as easily have gone to Crosby's Olympic celebration, but since that one wasn't actually from the NHL, Doan won out.

The Team MVP Award goes to Pavel Datsyuk for accumulating the most Cookies and Cupcakes throughout the season. He finished in first place with 11 sets of baked goods. Jimmy Howard finished just behind him with 10 awards. Hank and Homer tied for third with six each. Everyone who spent significant time on the roster managed to snag the goodies at least once except for Abdelkader, Draper, Maltby, May, Williams, Ericsson, Kronwall, Lebda, Lilja, and Meech.

The Team Scapegoat Award (maybe not an award, actually…) goes to Todd Bertuzzi. He managed to rack up eleven Golden Facepalms throughout the season. Big Rig was a distant second with six of them. Rafalski came in third with 5 Facepalms. The only major players to not get a Facepalm at least once were Draper, Franzen, Maltby, and May.

Thoughts for other awards or nominees?

Sharks Series Preview...

That was quite the series. I never expected it to go to seven games. I learned a lot during that series. I had always had a healthy respect for Shane Doan right up until he started running guys left and right. I also learned a bit about karma. The Wings hopefully learned a lesson or two about full game efforts. We all learned that life’s a little better when you have a commune support group to fall back on.

But that’s all in the past now.

The Wings are off to fine San Jose, where they’re already being welcomed with open arms. This is quite the quick turnaround, much to the relief of my poor puppy. Last season, during the long layoff between the first and second rounds, I was so bored that I decided to give her a haircut. Let’s just say that there’s a reason I’m not a professional dog groomer. I really believe that if I had had the proper tools at my disposal, it would’ve looked a lot better.

Everyone knows San Jose as the perennial playoff chokers and the team with no heart. You know what I’d like? I’d like to see the Wings cement that reputation for the Sharks. Let them have their fancy Western Conference championship banner. Good luck drinking champaign out of that.

There’s no doubt that San Jose is more talented all around than the Coyotes were, but Phoenix played with drive and grit that we’re not used to seeing from the Sharks in the post-season. They cranked things up toward the end of their series against Colorado, and really seemed to be clicking. A Sharks team in full-stride should make anyone nervous.

None of that matters, though. The Wings are going to determine who wins this series. I will maintain that this Wings team, when playing in full flight (see: Game Seven), cannot be beaten by any team in the NHL in a best of seven series until the day that I die. It’s up to them whether they make a fourth straight trip to the Conference Finals or get some extra time off this summer. With any luck, we'll get treated to an encore of this performance at the end of the series.

Guy to Grudgingly Respect: Evgeni Nabokov
I almost put Dany Heatley here just for laughs. I decided that it probably wouldn’t seem as funny in the morning, though. Instead, I went with Nabokov because a) Goalies always terrify me and b) He has the ability to steal a game when he gets in a groove.

Guy to Fear: Joe Pavelski
He’s been the one getting stuff done for San Jose so far during the playoffs. He looks like a prime candidate to have a Henrik-Zetterberg-shaped blanket draped all over him this series.

Guy I’m Probably Going to Laugh at a Lot: Marc-Edouard Vlasic
Vlasic pickles. It gets me every time.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Six GP...

13. It’s a day game on NBC. Uh oh.
12. The Wings still need to work on their faceoffs. There’s really no reason for Phoenix to be winning more draws.
11. The Eurotwins need to keep firing on all cylinders. The last couple of games have been quite a show.
10. What tin foil hat-inducing moments are going to occur as the Wings try to end the NHL’s team’s season?
9. The first few minutes of this game are going to be key. The Wings need to get off to a much better start than they did last Sunday.
8. I’m looking at Dan Cleary to do something good tomorrow. This worked for Miller last time, so it’s worth a shot.
7. Jimmy Howard needs to stand strong again. He’s had an incredible run over the last two games, and has managed to restore all of the fickle fans’ confidence in his abilities.
6. Are we going to have to put up with Shane Doan again?
5. This series, the Wings have played better when they’re the ones carrying the physical play to the Coyotes. They need to keep hitting hard and not letting Phoenix run around.
4. The PK and powerplay need to keep doing their thing. Since the disastrous first game, the PK has been fantastic. Special teams may very well determine the winner.
3. The second defensive pairing has looked much better over the last two games. Brad Stuart, in particular, had a great game on Friday night. The Wings need them to keep bringing their physical presence.
2. Will we get treated to a full-game effort tomorrow?
1. The Coyotes are going to come out hard hoping to get another home game in Phoenix. The Wings need to take this game seriously and shut them down. There’s no reason to make another trip to Phoenix and risk all of the assorted bad things that can happen in a Game Seven.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Five GP...

14. We need to see more special teams magic tomorrow.
13. Can the defense hold steady again?
12. I’m still looking for full-fledged Playoff Franzen.
11. Shane Doan might be back tomorrow. What is he going to do to make us hate him?
10. Which team is going to work harder?
9. Jimmy needs to follow up his shutout and Calder nomination with another strong game. I have high hopes that that game was just what he needed to get his head straight and confidence back.
8. How many goal reviews will we have to endure?
7. Insert standard sixty-minute effort question:
6. Faceoffs need to improve.
5. The Wings need to keep up their physical play. I’m sure the Coyotes will be amped up to be back in their building, and the Wings have to keep dishing it back.
4. They also have to get off to a fast start. The first five minutes of the game will be crucial for setting the tone.
3. The Eurotwins need to keep doing their thing. They’re absolutely essential.
2. I’m looking for good things from Drew Miller. He’s looked feisty so far, and I like that.
1. How many of Hockeytown’s finest are going to be detained by the Coyotes’ arena security?

Red Wings 3, Coyotes 0 (2-2): Post Game Snipes...

• During warmups, Sara, Amanda, Liz, and I tried to lure Homer in with some Homerbait candy that is one of his favorites, according to the Ikea staff. Sadly, we were not successful.
• Apparently someone saw Amanda’s “Snipe Snipe” shirt and asked her if she wrote SSDD. How cool/random is that?
• All day yesterday, I had horrible visions of this game going to six overtimes, and me crawling into work in the morning still wearing my jersey and smelling like a hockey arena.
• The scoreboard wasn’t working on at least two sides for the start of the game. Luckily, they got it working by the midway point of the first. People cheered.
• Why on earth was Z’s first goal originally credited to Bertuzzi? They had to have had a good look at it during the review.
• Datsyuk had four penalty minutes last night. I don’t think he knew that the Lady Byng votes had already been cast.
• Imagine if Zetterberg played the entire regular season like he did the playoffs.
• I didn’t see a single fan in a Coyotes jersey or shirt all game. I’m sure their fans were just being respectful of our building. Yeah right. I saw a bunch of Team Sweden jerseys, who I tallied in the Red Wings’ column and yet I didn’t see a single Phoenix one.
• I want the world to know that during that long PK in the third period, the LGRW chants didn’t stop for one second. That crowd last night knew its hockey. I was NOT a fan of the “Stanley! Stanley!” chant that was going around at the end of the game. That’s just not cool. Seriously guys, it’s only halfway through the first round. Remember what happened after the “Stanley” chants started at the end of Game 5 of the ’08 Finals.
• There were entire sections of the upper bowl standing up for the last few minutes of the third period from Datsyuk’s goal on. It was amazing. Seriously, the building was louder last night than it was during the third round game I went to last season. And, for the record, the building was full from start to finish.
• My only regret from the night was that there was no "Don't Stop Believin'." The late stages of the third were the perfect opportunity for it. We did do an epic job of rocking out "Livin' on a Prayer" though, if I do say so myself. You could hear us still singing well after play had started on the broadcast.
  
• I put my pictures up on photobucket. I can't edit them here at school, so they're pretty rough looking, but there they are.
  

GP Review:
15. This entire team needs to wake up and start taking this series seriously.
This game was much, much better. The boys looked engaged and made me feel a lot better about this whole playoffs thing.

14. Jimmy Howard needs to tighten things down and start looking like his regular season self again.
Boy did he ever. It was nice to see him turn in his first career playoff shutout after having a lot of fans calling for his head. Remember the days of STFU Ozzie? Maybe he passed that mentality onto Jimmy.

13. Defense, sunshines. Defense. It’s kind of important.
Vast, vast improvement over the last few games. I mean there’s still some work to be done, but it looked good.

12. Rafalski sat out practice with his old man back. Is he going to be able to go tomorrow? Are we going to wish he wasn’t?
He actually resembled an NHL defenseman last night. Having him playing real hockey made a huge difference with the defense.

11. I want to see the Eurotwins in full flight. There are few things more spectacular than seeing Datsyuk doing those crazy things he does in person.
I went to the game. Zetterberg and Datsyuk both scored. Coincidence? I think not. I stand by my statement that as the Eurotwins go, so go the Wings.

10. I’m hoping that his goal late in the game was the spark Franzen needed to get going. The Wings need him to start acting like playoff Franzen.
Franzen was more noticeable for good and bad reasons last night. His pass to Datsyuk was stellar, and he was actually driving the net from time to time, but stupid penalties are not good ways to show up on my radar.

9. Can we avoid any octopus-fumbling to start the game? I really had a terrible feeling when I saw that octopus slip out of Al’s hands on Sunday. It’s just bad karma.
There were tons of octopi on the ice last night both before the game and in the third period. Al executed a textbook octopus swing to kick off the game, and all was well. I’m telling you: this was key.

8. Are the Wings going to have to deal with Shane Doan? I would not be unhappy if he had to sit out tomorrow.
No Doanface. No sadface from me.

7. Make Bryzgalov work. His life hasn’t been difficult enough so far this series, and he’s already demonstrated that he’s beatable.
Bryzgalov was good last night, but Jimmy was better. That might be what this comes down to.

6. How many times are whistles going to go a split second before the Wings put the puck over the goal line? I think I remember a quick whistle preventing a goal against the Wings once ever. Usually these things even out.
There were no intent to blow incidents last night (which was good because, let’s face it, me being out in public during one of those would not be good), but that didn’t stop them from reviewing Hank’s first goal.

5. All I’m really asking is for a sixty-minute effort tomorrow. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
This was as close to a sixty-minute effort as we’ve seen all series.

4. Special teams could be the key again. It’s no coincidence that the game when the powerplay and PK were clicking was the one that the Wings won.
The PK was dynamite. That 5-on-3 in the third period nearly killed me. The best part was that the Wings were steady for the most part on the PK. They weren’t collapsing and running around. They stuck to their system and got in the passing lanes. Sometimes that’s half of the battle. What an improvement from Game One.

3. Where is Playoff Helm?
Helm was much better last night. He’s still not at playoff monster level, but he looked good.

2. I’m 1-0 in my playoff viewing career at the Joe. Please don’t drag me down to .500 with another lackadaisical effort.
2-0 baby. I’m taking donations to attend the rest of the games if you’re interested.

1. Mike Babcock said it best. What this game comes down to 99% of the time is deciding that you’re going to work harder than the guy on the other side of the ice. Every guy in the lineup could use an attitude like that.
Last night validated that, I’d say.

Hero: Jimmy Howard
I was so happy for Jimmy. Way to answer your critics, sunshine.

Villain: None of the above.
I'm feeling magnanimous today.

Final Thought:
This was one of the top three most fun games I’ve ever been to at the Joe. The crowd was even louder and more rowdy than it was during the third round last season.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Four GP...

I'm heading down to the game tomorrow with high hopes of running into some of my favorite tweeps during warmups. My seats are way up in the rafters, which is awesome because I'm pretty sure my little sister got a free ticket to sit way down in the lower bowl with her friends' parents. Regardless, I'll be there to take in my second ever playoff game at the Joe. My first was the overtime victory in Game Two of the Chicago series last season. The one with the Campbell turnover and Samuelsson goal to end the game. I've got some fond memories of that night. Let's add to them tomorrow.

15. This entire team needs to wake up and start taking this series seriously.
14. Jimmy Howard needs to tighten things down and start looking like his regular season self again.
13. Defense, sunshines. Defense. It’s kind of important.
12. Rafalski sat out practice with his old man back. Is he going to be able to go tomorrow? Are we going to wish he wasn’t?
11. I want to see the Eurotwins in full flight. There are few things more spectacular than seeing Datsyuk doing those crazy things he does in person.
10. I’m hoping that his goal late in the game was the spark Franzen needed to get going. The Wings need him to start acting like playoff Franzen.
9. Can we avoid any octopus-fumbling to start the game? I really had a terrible feeling when I saw that octopus slip out of Al’s hands on Sunday. It’s just bad karma.
8. Are the Wings going to have to deal with Shane Doan? I would not be unhappy if he had to sit out tomorrow.
7. Make Bryzgalov work. His life hasn’t been difficult enough so far this series, and he’s already demonstrated that he’s beatable.
6. How many times are whistles going to go a split second before the Wings put the puck over the goal line? I think I remember a quick whistle preventing a goal against the Wings once ever. Usually these things even out.
5. All I’m really asking is for a sixty-minute effort tomorrow. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
4. Special teams could be the key again. It’s no coincidence that the game when the powerplay and PK were clicking was the one that the Wings won.
3. Where is Playoff Helm?
2. I’m 1-0 in my playoff viewing career at the Joe. Please don’t drag me down to .500 with another lackadaisical effort.
1. Mike Babcock said it best. What this game comes down to 99% of the time is deciding that you’re going to work harder than the guy on the other side of the ice. Every guy in the lineup could use an attitude like that.

Red Wings 2, Coyotes 4 (1-2): Post Game Snipes...

• I viewed this spectacular game from the comfort of the Commune at Sara’s house. We had a delicious Swedish smorgasbord and sampled some of Homer’s favorite candy. The consensus was that it tastes like gummy bears mixed with memory foam. I really don’t think there could be a better favorite candy for Homer. It really fits his fake personality perfectly. Aside from the game itself, we had a fabulous time. Let's face it, Wings fans are just a little bit cooler than everyone else.
  
• Everyone’s already said it, but this game was miserable. It was pretty apparent that the dozen or so people gathered at the commune cared way more about the outcome of the game than the Wings did.
• Things went wrong right from the start. Not only did Al drop the octopus when he was twirling it, but the Wings gave up a goal on the first shift. Way to go, guys.
• That has to be one of the top ten worst games of Nick Lidstrom’s career.
• We were all shocked that Franzen’s goal went in the net. It was out just as fast as it went in, and nobody was willing to celebrate until we knew for sure. I didn’t think there was any net to shoot at, but it managed to squeak its way in off of the post. Maybe that’s the spark The Mule needs to get going.
• Shane Doan tripped over Jimmy Howard and crashed into the boards. At present, he’s day-to-day with an undisclosed injury (I’ve got ten bucks on his shoulder.). Really, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
  

GP Review:
15. Playoff Franzen, wake up. Where are you?
He had a brief flash of brilliance with his goal in the third, but he’s still not pulling his weight. The whole top line needs to do more, but he’s been one of the Wings’ biggest underperformers.

14. Now that the series is back in a real hockey city, Wings fans can demonstrate how a building should sound.
According to Twitter, there were the standard insults about empty seats in the Joe. I think those people are stupid and petty. It’s the same old story every year from people who have nothing better to do. If you can’t rip the hockey team (and really, there were plenty of things to insult about the Wings’ performance yesterday), go after the economy. Because there’s nothing more funny than fellow Americans struggling to find jobs and make ends meet. I know I’m rolling on the floor laughing. And beside that, the Joe wasn’t really empty. Until the final few minutes of the third period, the building was pretty full and there were LGRW chants a plenty.

13. The Wings need to cut down on the back-and-forth action. Sure it was fun (or maybe heart-attack-inducing) to watch, but the whole series can’t go on like that.
Well they certainly did cut down on the back-and-forth. Unfortunately, that meant that their offensive rush was pretty much eliminated while still allowing the Coyotes to have numerous chances. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

12. The PK needs to keep clicking. It was spot-on in Game Two after a disastrous outing in Game One.
They did manage to kill off all three of their penalties. This was one of the few things they did right.

11. The Wings need to keep dishing out the physical play. They were much better in Game Two largely because of the fact that they weren’t running around looking scared.
According to the boxscore, the Wings actually outhit the Coyotes yesterday. That’s nice, but I’d much rather see them outscore the Yotes.

10. The big guns need to lead the way again. I have a theory that goes something like “As the Eurotwins go, so go the Red Wings,” but that applies to all of the big guns.
Yeah, how about that?

9. The defense needs to tighten up. There were still too many turnovers and generally sloppy play last game.
If only…

8. The boys need to keep testing Bryzgalov. He was my number one nightmare heading into this series, but hasn’t kept me from sleeping at all so far.
We were talking about this at the commune yesterday. I’m afraid we may have jinxed things. I’m so sorry.

7. They still need to keep an eye out for Shane Doan. He was less destructively physical in Game Two, but still managed to run Nick Lidstrom with a late hit.
Doan took himself out of the game after tripping over Jimmy Howard and crashing into the boards. The fact that it was self-inflicted made me laugh a little.

6. Bring your tin foil hats. You’re bound to need them.
We busted out the tin foil during the game and came up with some…interesting creations. There was a fist hat. There was a bonnet. There was a face mask. Nothing helped.

5. NBC’s pretty much said that their plan is to talk up the Coyotes and their Cinderella story all day this afternoon. Start mentally preparing yourself now.
Yeah, they did just that. Nobody was surprised, and at least they were up front about it.

4. Sixty minutes? Pretty please.
This actually reads like a joke at this point.

3. The powerplay converted a couple of times in Game Two. Special teams are liable to be the deciding factor in this series. If the Wings’ powerplay can keep clicking, they’ll be in good shape.
They did manage to tally a powerplay goal, but it wasn’t enough.

2. Watch out for Wojtek Wolski. He’s been dangerous all series. Plus, he’s got that whole ex-Av thing going on.
Sure enough, he scored a goal. I’m never singling out a player in one of these again. I guess at least I get to say that I told you so.

1. If you’re going to the game, make sure you arrive early enough to catch the pre-game show. You’ll see some familiar faces. Andy and Maria would like some recordings youtubed if you’ve got a camera with you. If you’re not going, according to Malik, this WDIV camera will be working at all times except when the game’s on. I don’t know exactly what that means, but it might be worth a try.
The Wings posted the video today. It’s pretty awesome. I can’t wait to see it in person tomorrow.

Hero: Valtteri Filppula
He’s been one of the few Red Wings actually playing at his expected level during this series. He scored the powerplay goal to tie the game up late in the first period.

Villain: Sami Lepisto
He scored less than thirty seconds into the first period and spoiled everybody’s fun. Not cool.

Final Thought:
If the Wings actually bothered to take things seriously, the probably wouldn’t be trailing in this series.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Three GP...

It's pretty exciting that I only have to write fifteen of these things today. Wings' victories are like gifts that keep on giving...all the way up until the next gameday anyway.

15. Playoff Franzen, wake up. Where are you?
14. Now that the series is back in a real hockey city, Wings fans can demonstrate how a building should sound.
13. The Wings need to cut down on the back-and-forth action. Sure it was fun (or maybe heart-attack-inducing) to watch, but the whole series can’t go on like that.
12. The PK needs to keep clicking. It was spot-on in Game Two after a disastrous outing in Game One.
11. The Wings need to keep dishing out the physical play. They were much better in Game Two largely because of the fact that they weren’t running around looking scared.
10. The big guns need to lead the way again. I have a theory that goes something like “As the Eurotwins go, so go the Red Wings,” but that applies to all of the big guns.
9. The defense needs to tighten up. There were still too many turnovers and generally sloppy play last game.
8. The boys need to keep testing Bryzgalov. He was my number one nightmare heading into this series, but hasn’t kept me from sleeping at all so far.
7. They still need to keep an eye out for Shane Doan. He was less destructively physical in Game Two, but still managed to run Nick Lidstrom with a late hit.
6. Bring your tin foil hats. You’re bound to need them.
5. NBC’s pretty much said that their plan is to talk up the Coyotes and their Cinderella story all day this afternoon. Start mentally preparing yourself now.
4. Sixty minutes? Pretty please.
3. The powerplay converted a couple of times in Game Two. Special teams are liable to be the deciding factor in this series. If the Wings’ powerplay can keep clicking, they’ll be in good shape.
2. Watch out for Wojtek Wolski. He’s been dangerous all series. Plus, he’s got that whole ex-Av thing going on.
1. If you’re going to the game, make sure you arrive early enough to catch the pre-game show. You’ll see some familiar faces. Andy and Maria would like some recordings youtubed if you’ve got a camera with you. If you’re not going, according to Malik, this WDIV camera will be working at all times except when the game’s on. I don’t know exactly what that means (I can't tell if it's going to be shut off before the puck drops and only show the building filling up and warm-ups, or if it will be on during stoppages in play and commercials. It's not clear yet.), but it might be worth a try.

Red Wings 7, Coyotes 4 (1-1): Post Game Snipes...

• Overall, this was a much, much better effort from the boys. Obviously, there’s still a lot of room for improvement, but I’m in the midst of a free-curly-fry-induced good mood, and have no desire to be overly critical right now.
• Poor Mickey Redmond sounded like he was in rough shape last night. I wanted to make him chicken noodle soup and tea. I’ve always wanted him to be my adopted grandpa, since both of mine have been gone for at least twenty years.
• Justin Abdelkader came out and threw some hits on his very first shift. It was beautiful, and exactly what the Wings had been lacking in Game One.
• Dan Cleary made a brilliant play early in the game that prevented a sure Coyotes goal. It was incredible. You could see the gaping net and the Phoenix player with the puck on his stick, and there was absolutely no way it wasn’t ending up in the back of the net…and then Dan Cleary was there.
• The ice was ridiculous all night.
• The second period was absurd. There’s really no other way to describe it. That’s kind of what I imagine the 1980s looked like in the NHL. I was okay with the back and forth, though, because I felt like the Wings’ chances were better in an open, run-and-gun style game than trying to get past the trap.
• I don’t remember whose goal I was celebrating (probably because of brain damage), but I managed to hit my head on the ceiling while jumping on my bed. This really shouldn’t have come as a surprise, because I only have about a half inch of clearance when I’m just standing on it, but I guess that’s why adults aren’t supposed to do things like that.
• The Wings had one shift during the second during which I could swear they took 50 shots. It was absolutely ridiculous. They didn’t end up scoring on it, but boy, was it fun to watch.
• FSD came up with a technical difficulties screen a couple of times during the broadcast. The first time it happened, the last thing I saw was Todd Bertuzzi’s elbow filling up my entire screen. I’m pretty sure he killed the cameraman.
• How perfect was it that Abdelkader scored that beautiful goal? I felt like all of our calls for him to be in the lineup were validated in that moment. And of course, Babcock looked like a genius.
• Williams who?
• Shane Doan’s face after scoring his goal was terrifying. As soon as I saw it, I thought “Puck Daddy photoshop contest,” and sure enough, one has been launched. Seriously though, that’s the stuff of nightmares.
• Henrik Zetterberg has now bought me lunch twice this season. If he keeps this up, people are going to start to gossip.
• Random, but the Wings had 13 shots in each period. Now that’s consistency. It’s also my favorite number. But I digress…
• Word on the street that the octopus-throwing Wings fan got arrested last night. That’s just lame.
  

GP Review:
16. Shane Doan. Someone’s got to step up and start dishing it back to him. It’s only a matter of time until he knocks one of the Wings out of the series with an injury.
Aside from his late interference hit on Lidstrom, he was much less noticeable than he was in Game One. This is good.

15. We get to see the long-awaited and much called-for return of Justin Abdelkader. Here’s hoping he lives up to the expectations we’ve all set for him.
I think it’s safe to say that he far exceeded our expectations for his play last night.

14. Lidstrom’s not happy about getting high-sticked and then lied to. This is probably the closest to angry that we’ll ever see him.
He just kind of did his same old Lidstrom thing. Not that I’m surprised…

13. Look for the big guns to make more of an impact tomorrow.
Take a look at that boxscore. Three goals from Zetterberg, one from Datsyuk, and a pair from Filppula. The only one missing from the scoring fest last night? Franzen. Sure, he picked up an assist, but he has yet to wake up for his playoff tear this season.

12. The PK needs to be fixed like woah. I don’t really think another three-goal failure is likely, but something needs to get done.
They were 100% on the penalty kill last night. It doesn’t get much better than that.

11. On a similar note, the powerplay needs to come through. That should be the Wings’ bread and butter.
They scored two goals on three powerplays. That’s more like it.

10. What are the odds that the Wings show up to play a full game?
They weren’t perfect, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m not looking for perfection. I’m just after wins.

9. Jimmy Howard needs to keep up his good work in playoff game #2. He also needs a lot more support from the guys skating in front of him.
He let in four goals, which is a concern, but with the crazy, back-and-forth style that was being played last night, I don’t think it’s a huge issue.

8. Where was my Playoff Zetterberg? Come to think of it, what about Playoff Franzen?
Zetterberg certainly delivered. Franzen, not so much. It’s not that he was bad, it’s just that I’m looking for that crazy Franzen that we all know and love.

7. The Wings need to make Bryzgalov’s life a lot more difficult. They had plenty of shots, but most of them were routine saves. He gave up a softie to open the scoring and needs to get tested more.
He was definitely tested more, and didn’t exactly rise to the challenge. None of the Wings’ goals were softies, per se, but he didn’t exactly steal the game either.

6. Helm needs to keep his head up.
The Coyotes as a whole were less physical last night than in the first game. This isn’t really related to the point above it, but I didn’t want to leave one without a comment.

5. What tin-foil-hat-validating events will transpire tomorrow?
I actually felt pretty good about the game. Sure there were some chintzy penalty calls, but there was nothing egregiously bad.

4. The Wings need to be better on faceoffs. There’s no reason for them not to be.
The faceoffs seemed better, but there’s still a long way to go.

3. The excuses about injuries and the like are gone. The Wings can’t afford to let another game slip away from them.
Wheras Game One resembled a game from November, this one looked more like the real Red Wings that we know and love. Tighten up that defense a little, and they’ll be in business.

2. I’d really like to not be the crazy girl screaming at her TV in the middle of the night again. Let’s please make this game stress-free and painless.
Ummmmm…not so much. There was more than enough stress to go around last night, particularly during the second period.

1. I want to see more Homer.
You know who doesn’t want to see more Homer? Ilya Bryzgalov.

Hero: Henrik Zetterberg
That one’s pretty obvious.

Villain: Shane Doan
Seriously, his face is going to keep little Michigan children up at night for years to come.

Final Thought:
Don’t disappoint the home crowd tomorrow, boys.

Red Wings vs. Coyotes Game Two GP...

This is no fun. I was really hoping to only have to write fifteen things in this GP. I really hope this game is more fun to watch than the last one. Today has been long and miserable. Four hours of sleep plus my continued frustration at the game last night have not made for a pleasant day.

If you haven’t already, read this post by Sara (@it_burns_us). It sums our obsession up perfectly. I promise that it will make your life.

16. Shane Doan. Someone’s got to step up and start dishing it back to him. It’s only a matter of time until he knocks one of the Wings out of the series with an injury.
15. We get to see the long-awaited and much called-for return of Justin Abdelkader. Here’s hoping he lives up to the expectations we’ve all set for him.
14. Lidstrom’s not happy about getting high-sticked and then lied to. This is probably the closest to angry that we’ll ever see him.
13. Look for the big guns to make more of an impact tomorrow.
12. The PK needs to be fixed like woah. I don’t really think another three-goal failure is likely, but something needs to get done.
11. On a similar note, the powerplay needs to come through. That should be the Wings’ bread and butter.
10. What are the odds that the Wings show up to play a full game?
9. Jimmy Howard needs to keep up his good work in playoff game #2. He also needs a lot more support from the guys skating in front of him.
8. Where was my Playoff Zetterberg? Come to think of it, what about Playoff Franzen?
7. The Wings need to make Bryzgalov’s life a lot more difficult. They had plenty of shots, but most of them were routine saves. He gave up a softie to open the scoring and needs to get tested more.
6. Helm needs to keep his head up.
5. What tin-foil-hat-validating events will transpire tomorrow?
4. The Wings need to be better on faceoffs. There’s no reason for them not to be.
3. The excuses about injuries and the like are gone. The Wings can’t afford to let another game slip away from them.
2. I’d really like to not be the crazy girl screaming at her TV in the middle of the night again. Let’s please make this game stress-free and painless.
1. I want to see more Homer.

Red Wings 2, Coyotes 3 (0-1): Post Game Snipes...

• The Wings looked pretty good at the start of the game.
• Homer’s goal from close to the blue line was wonderful. It just kind of floated into the net past Bryzgalov’s glove. In his intermission interview (which totally validated For Sure…), even he didn’t know how it went in.
• I was kind of amused by the fact that the Wings’ first powerplay came off of a goalie interference penalty against Phoenix, when those memos the NHL sends out every year usually target Homer. Irony. It’s delicious.
• Mickey Redmond dropped a “for sure” when talking about Homer’s goal. I loved it.
• Lidstrom’s goal was one of those perfect seeing-eye shots that couldn’t be replicated if he tried it a million times.
• I never had a problem with Shane Doan before this season. Maybe I just never paid enough attention to him (It’s that whole, “Oh yeah, they have a team in Phoenix,” mentality, I guess.), but I never realized how dirty he was. He’s going to hurt someone before this series is over.
• The game-winner for Phoenix came after some textbook interference was ignored right after the faceoff. Guess who it was? Shane Doan.
• What happened to the penalty kill? Seriously, of all the times to fall apart.
• The non-call on the high stick that Lidstrom took was atrocious. And people wonder why Wings fans are conspiracy theorists. A four-minute powerplay there could’ve changed the game.
• This game was miserable to watch. The second and third periods felt like they dragged on forever.
• The Wings’ big names need to act like it.
• I hope the Wings come out angry on Friday.
  

GP Review:
16. Every single playoff round for as long as I can remember, my nightmare has been seeing the Wings come up against a hot goalie. This seems like it happens over and over and over again to them, and Ilya Bryzgalov is definitely the kind of guy who can cause me to lose sleep.
Bryzgalov was not the issue tonight. He hardly had to work for the last 40 minutes. And Homer’s goal was way soft.

15. The Wings are starting their playoff series on the road for the first time in forever. I’m still a little confused. Still, it’s intriguing.
Their whiteout was actually pretty impressive. In this day and age, though, it’s kind of stupid with the road team wearing white.

14. Will there be more octopi than snakes thrown on the ice?
Twitter told me that there was an octopus before the game, but I don’t have any visual confirmation of that. There was, however, one confirmed snake sighting.

13. Jimmy Howard’s making his playoff debut. I think he’ll be just fine.
He should’ve had the third goal, but looked good other than that. He made a bunch of nice saves, and was far from the problem.

12. What tin-foil-hat-inducing moment will we bear witness to?
It’s probably best if I don’t even get started on this one.

11. The FSD crew will be in rare form tonight, I’m sure. I can only imagine what beautiful turns of phrase they’re going to grace our ears with. I’m still mad I missed Murph’s mock awards on Sunday.
Ken Daniels referred to Datsyuk as “The Datsyukian One” during the third period. Is that new?

10. What percentage of the crowd will be cheering for the Wings? I’m willing to bet that half of the crowd noise the broadcast feed picks up will be LGRW chants.
The Coyotes fans were actually louder than I expected. I figured there would be more Wings fans in attendance.

9. I hope the game doesn’t go to a shootout. Oh. Wait. You mean ties are decided by real hockey in the playoffs? Wowzer.
Honestly, I would’ve been okay with a shootout, if only because there aren’t many opportunities for dirty hits during the skills competition.

8. This probably goes without saying, but it’s crucial to start out strong and stomp on the Coyotes’ little Cinderella story right out of the gate. Set the tone right off the bat and don’t let them get even a spoonful of confidence.
I thought this was what the Wings were doing at the stat of the game, but then they went to sleep.

7. Sixty minute game? Oh pretty, pretty please.
No.

6. How much support is the defense going to give Jimmy? As much as I’d love to see him stand on his head, my life expectancy will be a lot higher if he doesn’t have to save the day.
Not nearly enough. This loss wasn’t on him.

5. Two words: Playoff Zetterberg. Oh my goodness, do I ever love watching that man drive opposing star forwards batty.
Sadly, Playoff Zetterberg did not seem to make an appearance tonight. It’s wakey-wakey time, Z.

4. In a similar vein: Playoff Helm. Yeah.
Early on, he was in hit everything mode, but kind of faded as the game went on. Of course, he blended right in with the rest of the team.

3. One huge difference between last year’s playoff roster and this one is Andreas Lilja. I never expected to be that relieved to see him in the lineup. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he turned out to have been the missing link?
Well he certainly didn’t have any effect on the penalty kill. I thought that was supposed to be his thing.

2. I hope you’re not expecting rational thoughts or actions from me for the next little while. Word to the wise: It’s best if you don’t speak to me on gamedays. It’s also advisable to avoid me for a 24-hour period after any Wings’ loss. Trust me, you’re better off.
I really should’ve warned my roommates that the playoffs were starting. Yelling, screaming, jumping on my bed. It all happened. I’m also going to be running on 4 hours of sleep tomorrow thanks to my wonderful life decisions to stay up and watch hockey/blog about it.

1. No fear. No excuses. No mercy. No limits.
The Wings certainly looked intimidated by the Coyotes’ rough play. They were probably more concerned about making it through the game intact than anything else.

Hero: Tomas Holmstrom
He scored one of the most uncharacteristic goals of his career, and then gave a fantastic intermission interview. I really do love that guy.

Villain: Shane Doan
You know why.

Final Thought:
I’m all for Abdelkader being in the lineup instead of Williams (Who?) on Friday.

Coyotes Series Preview...

I, quite inexplicably, wrote the Game One GP before writing the series preview for the first round, so this is going to be pretty short.

Like I’ve said a couple of times already, the key to this series is going to be Ilya Bryzgalov. The Coyotes are going to live and die by his performance. I’m not kidding when I say that red hot opposition goalies give me nightmares. Bryzgalov (nickname: Breezy. What?) has the potential to spoil all of the Wings’ fun. If they can score on him as consistently as we all know they can, there’s no reason they can’t win this series. However, if he totally stands on his head, we might have to deal with and agonizing few games here.

The Coyotes fans are all up in arms about the prevalence of Wings fans in their home arena. This makes me laugh way more than it probably should.

The Wings are actually healthy for a change. They're hungry too. That's a dangerous combination, sunshines.

Guy to Grudgingly Respect: Ilya Bryzgalov
This probably would’ve been Shane Doan until the whole knee-on-knee incident. He’s a force to be reckoned with, and you have to appreciate what he’s done this season.

Guy to Fear: Ilya Bryzgalov
Yeah, he’s listed twice. Get over it. Nightmares. I have nightmares. For real.

Guy I’m Probably Going to Laugh at a Lot: Robert Lang
Just because.

Game time is in one hour. We've been waiting a long time for this. Let's get going.