As Boredom Creeps In...

I don’t normally like to do video-heavy posts, but I’m finally done with classes for the summer and I’m just happy to be able to catch up on all of the random hockey links I’ve been bookmarking for the last few weeks. And since there isn’t a whole lot else going on during these oh-so-boring summer days, this is all I have to go with. If I get any more bored, I’m liable to start making Top Ten lists, and nothing good can come of that.

First I’ll start off with the Wings playoff intro from this past season. Most of you have probably seen it by now, but it’s definitely worthy of repeated viewing. I missed most of it before the game I went to because I was too busy bawling due to finally making it to my first playoff game. I’m kidding. I wasn’t bawling. I actually was trying to take pictures of the pre-game show while climbing the upper bowl stairs backwards. The beginning of the video gave me chills though. Actually, it still does. Also, I’m kind of in love with that guy’s voice.



On a related note, I also love videos like this one with game clips in front of a voiceover quote from X-Men 3. Seriously, it’s perfect. When I saw it up on the big screen at the Joe, it blew my mind. Some may say that I’m easily impressed, but I have a thing for movie/TV quotes. I have no idea why.

And last but not least, here’s a link to the NHL’s top ten saves of the year. Number ten features our very own Chris Osgood. Make sure you watch all of the replays of the save so you can catch the Versus announcer dropping the word “fabulosity” at around the 40 second mark. (The other nine saves are nice too, but they really lost me at “fabulosity.”) While it’s not the Pavel Datsyuk call that originally introduced me to my new favorite word, it’ll have to do. Seriously, fabulosity is kind of my own version of truculence, except that it’s not a real word.

Williams Back for More...

The Wings announced that they signed Jason Williams to a one year deal this morning. The terms haven't leaked yet, as far as I know, but we're all well aware of the amount of cap space the Wings had to work with, so you can expect that it's somewhere around that level. I've already made my case against bringing Williams back, so you all know how I feel about that. The one upside to this deal is that it will allow Abdelkader to start the season in Grand Rapids. I'm also curious to see how long Williams makes it before he starts whining. I'm a much bigger fan of the Eaves deal.

@joeburkel on Twitter pointed out to me that Eaves has never put up good numbers. However, he, unlike Williams, has never annoyed me before. He's coming in with a clean slate with no previous animosity built up. And I hold grudges. I'm not going to hide the fact that Williams is going to have to play twice as hard to earn my respect. Plus, I like the unexplored potential that Eaves brings. You get the feeling that he's never peaked and that there's a whole lot more that he can bring to the ice surface. On the other hand, with Williams, you pretty much know what you're getting. I'd be shocked if he surprised me at all.

At any rate, it's nice to actually have a lineup to discuss. It'll give me something to do besides watch youtube videos. Now if we could just get Lilja's head fixed...

Two Old Favorites...

Two of my favorite players made the hockey headlines today, but for different reasons. I was quite glad to see that Brendan Shanahan has signed a one-year deal with New Jersey. I’m no Devils fan, but I wasn’t ready to see Shanny hang up the skates just yet. It’s comforting to know that my “alter-ego” from my high school days is still out there suiting up. Plus, as far as I’m concerned, that iconic “Statue of Liberty” goal should have earned him employment in the NHL for as long as he wants.

Going in the opposite direction was Jeremy Roenick, who’s expected to announce his retirement tomorrow. I’ve always had a soft spot for JR, even though he was never a Wing. I love the fact that he would say outrageous things that were a total departure from the traditional NHL players’ sometimes Nyquil-like comments. (Don’t get me wrong...I would hate a league full of Roenicks. But I think that one or two guys like him are exactly what the league needs.) Plus, I firmly believe that more professional athletes need to sing and dance while in uniform. At any rate, I’m definitely sad to see him go. He’s one of the rare players out there who I actually like despite never having donned the Winged Wheel. And that says more than any contrived career eulogy ever could. Now, let the bidding war for his TV commentator deal begin...

Empty Arenas Look Depressing...

This little beauty's from the Wings channel on NHL TV.



I repeat: Can summer be over yet?

Also, I feel the need to mention that I finally joined Twitter a while back. You can follow me @snipedangle if you so desire.

Finally Some Real News...

Well, it’s certainly about time. I was running out of pointless things to write about. As has been announced nearly everywhere (I have to take this opportunity to point out how much I love Twitter/the blogging world. I can’t imagine what I would have done if I had to wait until this news was printed in the paper tomorrow morning. I’m not even being facetious. I actually don’t know what I would do without instant access to news like this.), the Wings just signed Patrick Eaves to a one-year deal for $500K. I have to admit that this guy wasn’t even on my radar. I was so preoccupied by ranting about players that I didn’t want to see back in a Wings uniform, that I failed to really search around for guys who I did want. After doing a few minutes worth of Googling, I have to say that I actually really like this deal. While we were all busy debating the merits of Williams, Bertuzzi, Grier, and Sykora, Kenny Holland was once again working his magic.

The comparisons to Dan Cleary have already been made (by Jim Nill, too), so I won’t waste your time with that. But I have to believe that if any NHL club can resurrect the career of a guy like Eaves, it’s the Wings. If he’s willing to come in, play hard, and do his job by providing quality shifts on the bottom lines, there’s no reason to think that he won’t be able to succeed here. The guys on the Wings roster have a way of making those around them better. And if this does work out the way we all hope it does? Well then, I’m pretty sure Ken Holland will have a holiday named after him around these parts.

And as for Eaves, well to steal The Chief’s metaphor, this is his Golden Ticket. If he comes in here and pulls a Dan Cleary, he’ll find himself showered with love and affection from the greatest fan base in all of hockey. We like our redemption stories around here. But more importantly, we love our blue collar guys who succeed based on their hard work and character. Seriously, this has all the makings of a Kenny Holland Special.

So welcome to Detroit, Patrick Eaves. We’ve got a long and storied history of falling for guys like you. On the flip side, these comparisons to Cleary’s career resurrection have set some pretty lofty goals for you, and we’re not always kind to those who disappoint us. But the guys who buy into the system and stick around for a while tend to be rewarded. So you might want to consider getting on the phone with him ASAP to pick up some tips for success in the Winged Wheel. It'll be worth your while.

Flying Referees and Fun With Shapes...

Apparently I’m not the only one whose mind has been wandering during these summer doldrums. Extreme boredom is the only possible explanation for some of the suggestions made by Jim Kelley here. Curving the blue lines? Really? I suppose that in theory there’s an upside to that, but even if we overlook the fact that it would be extremely difficult for the linesmen to judge offsides, it would look absurd on the ice surface. Seriously, between the faceoff circles, the assorted lines, and the trapezoid, if they add any more shapes, the ice surface is going to look like my little sister’s geometry textbook vomited on it. You'd have to bring a protractor to the game with you just to be able to follow along.

Another fun proposition was having the second referee sit between the benches to make calls from behind the play. This would apparently give him a better view of the ice and have the added benefit of clearing up some space on the ice. Personally, I think that if we’re going to take a ref off of the ice surface to give him a more omniscient view, we should harness him up like Beyonce here and have him fly along above the play. If nothing else, seeing him soar around will provide some entertainment to fans who are forced to watch Jacques Lemaire’s trap suck the soul out of the game. Not to mention the fact that according to this video, the Staples center is already equipped for that kind of thing, so the Kings already have a head start.

There was also discussion of allowing the higher seeded team in each playoff series to choose the home/away schedule for each round. This would presumably allow them to make a travel schedule that suits their needs best. Kelley also adds that, “it certainly would heighten interest with the fan bases in both cities as there would be endless debates regarding which way to go, even more so if it appears the wrong choices were made.” Because, clearly, as hockey fans, we need more to stress about during the playoffs.

Can it please be October already?

Anti-Wish List...

Our little Not-So-Happy Hudler had his arbitration hearing today. We’re still waiting on the official decision, but it couldn’t matter less. Now that the NHL’s finally conceded his loss, maybe the Wings can finally move on. Unfortunately, at this point in the summer, the pickings are slim. So thanks for that, Gary. Does anyone else find it ironic that the NHL, located in the heart of the West, operates under an artificial salary cap, while Russia’s KHL uses a free-market system? Obviously there are no nuclear bombs involved (unless you count this) but doesn’t it seem like a sardonic twist on the Cold War?

It’s tempting to make a free agent wish list describing the guys who are still out there and why they appeal to me, but at this point it’s irrelevant. There is one player who I absolutely do not want signed. His name? Todd Bertuzzi. His name has been tossed around by a few people, although the discussions/rumors haven’t sounded particularly serious. That matters very little to me. The mere thought of him once again donning a Wings uniform is enough to make me shudder. I have to believe that Kenny Holland is smarter than to bring him back, because let’s face it, he’s Kenny Holland, but rationality has never stopped us Wings fans from worrying about things before. I’m just warning humanity: if Bertuzzi signs, the news will also likely be accompanied by reports of a crazed grad student screaming incoherently and setting all of her possessions on fire in the middle of Ann Arbor. But enough about him.

There’s another former Wing out there whose name has been tossed around more seriously. And that has me slightly concerned. It’s not that Jason Williams is lacking in talent in comparison to the other guys who are still unsigned; in terms of value, a player of his caliber is all the Wings can hope for with their limited cap space. I have a problem with his attitude and his reaction to being benched before he was traded away. Now it’s no secret that I have no sympathy for whiny professional athletes (or anyone else for that matter), so I’m not going to waste time explaining myself here. Does anyone out there really think that he’s changed in the years since his departure from Detroit? I can’t shake the feeling that if he comes back, he’s going to have the same old issues with Mike Babcock. Babs takes a lot of pride in leading a bunch of classy, respectful players and I don’t see him putting up with a whole lot of complaining. Especially from a journeyman third-liner on a team full of hard-working superstars. While seeing him in a Wings uniform next year won’t cause me to have a fit like a Bertuzzi signing would, I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled. My philosophy is a lot like this: If you’re lucky enough to have the privilege to play for the Detroit Red Wings, you work hard, you keep a low profile, you definitely don’t complain, and if you stick around long enough, you’re bound to end up with a championship or four. And I don’t see Williams fitting into that framework, however rose-colored it may be.

Now that I’ve told you who I don’t want, you may find yourself wondering who I’d like the Wings to go after. (Or more likely, you’re just reading this to kill time at work and you really don’t care what I think.) Truth be told, I don’t even know. The guys out there who have the biggest upsides are just a little bit out of the Wings’ price range. I still have to pause to grumble every time I type something like that. I know I should get over it, but the salary cap flies in the face of most of the things I believe in, such as common sense, capitalism, and winning. I would really like to see them sign two lower-priced players so that Abdelkader has a chance to get some more playing time in Grand Rapids. The Wings’ system of player development is first-rate, and I’d hate to see him get cheated out of an extra year of seasoning in the minors just to play a few minutes a night filling a gap in the roster.

In all honesty, the two names that interest me most are Petr Sykora (Typing that disturbs me a little bit too, but such is the reality that we deal with in Gary Bettman’s perfect little world.) and Brendan Shanahan. I’m not ashamed to admit that my intrigue at the prospect of bringing Shanny back is rooted entirely in my nostalgia for the past. (During high school, there was a joke that he was my alter-ego. This was ironic because as much as I loved him, I was always a Stevie Y girl at heart.) From what I’ve heard, though, he’s not much of a Babcock fan either, and I’m thinking that he’ll most likely end up back in New Jersey.

It’s difficult to explain why Sykora interests me. I’m not sure that there’s any one particular reason. His called shot in triple OT will probably haunt me forever, but much like Max Talbot, I really can’t hate him. I really don’t see him ending up here either, once again thanks to the almighty dollar.

I have absolutely no idea where that leaves the Wings. In light of that, I have no choice but to once again fall back on the mantra that I’ve been relying on all summer: In Kenny we trust. It’s always worked for me in the past. We can only hope that he’s got some tricks up his sleeve once again.

Hockey is My Boyfriend...

Ever had a relationship irreparably damaged by your addiction to the Red Wings? Or, like my brother, do you suffer from a man-crush on Johan Franzen that is so consuming that it prevents you from having a real relationship? Maybe you had a girlfriend/boyfriend dump you because they couldn’t stand to hear you complain that the trap was ruining the sport for one more second. Or maybe they were too embarrassed to go out in public with you because you would impulsively scream things like, “HASEK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET BACK IN YOUR NET,” or “BAAAAACCCCKKKKCHECCCCKKKKKKK!” It also could have been the incessant hockey references that popped up during your conversations, like that time you tried to lighten the mood during a heated argument by saying, “wow, this is no place for a nervous person,” or when you told him/her that you weren’t blocking the TV, you were just “fronting.” You know it’s happened. It could have been that time he or she sprained their knee and you told them to “man up” and take it like a hockey player because it was nothing compared to what Steve Yzerman played through. Or maybe they just didn’t like sleeping on Red Wings sheets with your Henrik Zetterberg poster staring down at them, like some kind of bearded menace.

If you're like me, your friends have had a running joke for several years saying that the only real relationship you'll ever have is with the Red Wings. According to some, hockey has gotten me through more cold winter nights than any man every could. This says nothing good about the state of my life.

In any case, Wrap Around Curl wants to know about it. Send a message to wraparoundcurl@gmail.com if you want to take part in her survey. This type of research is a vital contribution to the hockey community. Your participation could change lives.

More Inanity...

As I struggle to get through the summer, I find myself spending more and more of my life on youtube and assorted NHL blogs in order to get my hockey fix. It’s sad. I realize that. But on those slow news days of summer, I’m forced to scrounge around the internet for whatever Wings stuff I can get. As a result, I stumbled across this collection of scans from the Wings yearbook. I’d never seen it before, and I’m not sure how one would go about acquiring a copy, but they’re pretty awesome. Some of the pictures are downright hilarious. Especially Maltby. I don’t really even know what to make of his picture.

I also found myself browsing the NHL online store. As usual, there was nothing worth buying in women’s sizes, but that’s another rant for another time. On the other hand, if I were a man, I would totally need to buy these. Why is there no female equivalent?

In other news, it finally came out that Hossa was hurt during the playoffs. I suspected that there was something wrong with him all along, but this doesn’t sound like it was serious enough to have caused his complete disappearance. Some people are reveling in the irony of Chicago spurning the notoriously fragile Martin Havlat to sign an injured Hossa to a twelve-year deal. Ironic? Maybe. But worthy of revelry? I don’t think so. As much as I would’ve liked to have Hossa in a Wings uniform come October, I still can’t begrudge his decision to take Chicago’s offer.

There was a really nice article in the News about Jiri Fischer the other day. It’s such a shame that he can’t play any more. It sounds like he’s doing a great job with player development, and it’s good to see that he’s still able to play a role in the organization.

And for one final bit of randomness, the New York Daily News confirmed what we've known all along: The Wings have the "all-time coolest uniforms. Not that there's any doubt in my mind about that, but I was a little surprised to see a hockey team on top of the list, let alone two in the top five (the Blackhawks were ranked fifth).

Fun With Words...

Disclaimer: This is completely unrelated to hockey, and mostly entirely for my own amusement.

I recently discovered the brilliance that is Wordle.net. You can paste in text or a link to any site with an RSS feed and it will turn your most frequently used words into a fun collage. I'm pretty addicted to it now, which is bad/sad/pathetic on a number of levels. Anyway, here's the official Snipe Snipe, Dangle Dangle word collage as of today.


Click for a bigger image, and please do make some of your own. They're quite amusing. Or a really good way to avoid doing things you'd rather put off.