2009-2010 Player Profiles: Henrik Zetterberg...

OK, it’s that time of year. Hockey’s so close that you can almost taste it. By my count, there IS ONLY 1 DAY remaining before the Wings kick off their season in Sweden (which is still entirely too many, but at least we can see the light at the end of the tunnel). In order to pass the time, I’ll be posting a player profile every day until then (in alphabetical order, because I’m one of those people). I want to make it very clear that these are not predictions, because I do not, under any circumstance, make predictions. They’re simply my thoughts on each player’s performances last season, and my hopes and expectations for them this time around. Today’s subject:

Henrik Zetterberg


2008-2009 Regular Season: 77 GP, 31-42-73, +/- 13, 36 PIM
2009 Playoffs: 23 GP, 11-13-24, +/- 13, 13 PIM

Season Highlight: Owning Crosby in the Finals. Again.
Season Lowlight: Probably his “fight” with Malkin.

Who better to conclude this series with than Zetterberg? His regular season numbers were down a little from the year before, but critics overlooked the fact that Marian Hossa took a lot of ice time on the top line. There were rumblings about him having a below average season for much of the regular season, largely due to the fact that his performance was being compared to his Conn Smythe winning playoff run the year before. Whether or not you feel that he lived up to his lofty standards during the regular season, there’s no doubt that he turned things up a notch in the playoffs. He was nothing short of spectacular in the Finals, as he once again managed to shut Sidney Crosby down, this time without the aid of Pavel Datsyuk for much of the series. There were times when I felt like he was one of the few Wings who actually looked like they had any desire to win the Cup.

So far this pre-season, he’s been hampered by a groin injury that held him out of the lineup until yesterday. I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t worry me on some level. Those are the kinds of injuries that nag and nag and just won’t go away. It’s only October 1st and the fact that I’m already finding myself stressing over Z’s groin has me nervous. The Wings need Zetterberg to be healthy and in top form this season. At present, he’s slated to center his own line with Todd Bertuzzi and Dan Cleary, but I wouldn’t be shocked to see a EuroTwin reunion when the Wings need a spark from time to time. We haven’t seen much of the line in action thus far, thanks to the injury bug (it’s about 5 man-games lost away from being officially upgraded to curse), but the concept definitely intrigues me. Hank looked pretty good in his pre-season debut on Wednesday, and I feel a little bit better now. With any luck, it won't take long for that line to gel now that everyone's in the lineup.

Really though, I don’t know what to say about what to expect from him. Basically, he’ll continue to be Henrik Zetterberg, which is another way of saying that night in and night out, he’s going to be one of the two best all-around players in the world (any guesses as to who the other is?). He does it all, and in one game he’ll be working magic in the offensive zone and the next he’ll devote himself to shutting down the other team’s top line. He’s already been anointed as future Captain by many Wings fans, and this season, he just needs to continue doing what he does best: leading by example with his performance on the ice. Also, trying to bring old-man cardigans back into style.

What he needs to do to make me happy: Find more excuses to wear eye black. Just saying.

Night of A Thousand Heart Attacks...

I know I said I was done until the game was, but it turns out that I just can't stay away.

2.5 hours until game time. How's your day been? So far, my biggest accomplishment has been forming coherent sentences. I lost count of my near-death heart stoppages once I hit triple digits at approximately noon.

There was a moment earlier in the day when I felt a tinge of jealousy for those "fans of the sport" who had no vested interest in the outcome of Game 7 and just wanted to see a good game. I thought how nice it would be to casually tune in and enjoy it with a blissful sense of detachment, sans life threatening blood pressure issues. Then I snapped out of it faster than a Nick Lidstrom slapper from the point. I realized that this is what I live for. This is how I get my kicks. It's like my own special version of the runner's high. So what if it's literally melting years off of my life expectancy as I type this very sentence? Without days like these, moments like running down Woodward in an early June rainstorm wearing my brand new Cup t-shirt, my hair still shedding confetti from the Joe, screaming at the top of my lungs last year would have no meaning. (It's also important to note that while I was doing this, I was stone-cold sober. I think it provides a better perspective on the effect that the Wings have on my emotional state.)

What really strikes me the most is the finality of it all. I've never been in a situation where I know that it's the absolute last game of the season. There have been games when I expected the season to be over, but it was never a sure thing. Even in the Game 7s I've lived through in the past, there was always wondering when the next round would start if the Wings won or clearing my schedule for the next game a couple of days down the road. I'm not sure I like finality. I'm one of those people who likes to keep my options open and make plans on the fly. This is an entirely new experience for me. May the Hockey Gods help us all.

Going into Game 7, there's very little that I know for sure. And I don't just mean related to hockey. I don't think I could even tell you my home address at this point. I am, however, 100% positive about these things:
-The Joe will be absolutely crazy-nutso tonight, if it isn't already. I wouldn't be surprised if banners start falling from the rafters before the opening faceoff, like some kind of red and white rain of triumph.
-At the end of the game I will be crying, regardless of the outcome. They'll either be tears of joy or sadness, plus a little relief from having survived the ordeal at all. I'm not the slightest bit ashamed to admit this.
-Careers will be defined tonight, one way or another. There are guys on both sides who stand to cement their legacies with a victory tonight, and some who may be made eternal goats if they fail to show up to play.
-My puppy is going to be cowering in a corner before the first intermission. If she can escape the headlock I'm going to have her in, that is.
-The neighbors (if they don't already) are going to question my sanity thanks to my tendency to scream at the top of my lungs. A lot. If they thought Game 7 against Anaheim was obnoxious, they have no idea what's in store for them now.
-These guys will decide which city gets to party: Henrik Zetterberg, Chris Osgood, Nick Lidstrom, Pavel Datsyuk, Marian Hossa, Johan Franzen, Darren Helm, Evegeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, Rob Scuderi, Marc-Andre Fleury, Paul Devorski, and Bill McCreary.

Yeah, I literally have nothing else to say. Somewhere, Dan Bylsma is finishing off his imported lucky burrito. I hope the man enjoys it, because it's been my experience that burritos are not meant to be reheated. I'm too nervous to eat dinner, so I'm going to go commence my traditional fetal position/nausea/bartering with the Hockey Gods routine until it's time for my pre-game Slurpee run. If I never post again, it's fairly safe to assume that the game killed me.

Exoneration for Hossa...

It's kind of amusing to think about in the few rational, objective moments that I suffer through, but I'm still hovering in a state of near-panic despite the fact that my boys are leading the series 2-0. I have my reasons (they haven't played particularly well, Datsyuk's still out and not likely to return, and Malkin continues to terrify me), but I just can't imagine a lot of other fans still wallowing in fear when their team was leading a series like that. It's okay, though. It's how I know that I'm hard core.

I wanted to post this, which I stole from A2Y, which apparently received it from someone else. I'm not 100% on the chain of custody, but here it is:


This clearly shows Hossa slashing Dupuis' stick in half Dupuis breaking his own stick on Hossa's foot. That dirty, no-good Hossa! How dare he allow Dupuis to break his stick over his foot before stealing the puck? I tell ya, it's guys like him who are really ruining the game of hockey.

Most of what I'm getting from the Pens fans has sounded a lot like whining. It's perfectly understandable when you consider who their Captain is, so I'll let it slide.

The media is still giving plenty of "lip service" to Crosby and his band of merry flightless birds. This, of all of the things the NHL does, is the one that will never cease to amaze me. I'll write about this more later. I'm going to hold off on it until somebody takes home a trophy that means something.

All of a sudden, people are paying a lot of attention to the Wings' rookies. Normally when your minor-leaguers are called on to substitute for injured stars in the playoffs, that doesn't bode well for your team. Instead, they're driving point production. Why? The top two lines are pretty much cancelling each other out with good defensive plays. That leaves the kids to run wild and work their magic. I said it in my series preview: "Even if the Wings have to "cancel out" their top two lines defending Crosby and Malkin, I like their odds in a battle of third and fourth lines. I've said it ten million times over the course of my fandom, but the Wings bottom lines just can't be matched by anyone else in the league." It looks like I was right. Also, you know, the part about Zetterberg owning Crosby again.

Oh Oh, We're Halfway There...

I said one thing before the Finals started, and I'll say it again. When they write the book on this series, the story is going to be that of Henrik Zetterberg vs. Crosby/Malkin. Sure there might be some subplots about depth, rookies, lively boards, and goalies, but the heart of the story is going to be written by the reigning Conn Smythe winner and his defensive match-ups. (If Datsyuk were playing, he'd be co-protagonist, but he's not.) And tonight continued to prove me right.

First of all, I have to congratulate Marc-Andre Fleury, who managed to go a whole game without shitting a puck into his own net. Unless you count Abdelkader's goal, that is.

Secondly, I learned a very important lesson tonight. Eating rice with chopsticks while watching playoff hockey is a really good way to nearly poke your own eye out. Or to choke. Yeah, I had not one, but two near-death experiences whilst trying to eat the nasty fried rice that was left in the fridge.

The Wings had an average start. Their first couple of shifts looked tentative, but they improved after than. Then, somewhere around the ten-minute mark, they decided that it was nap-time or snack time or time to look at Swedish porn or...something. Who knows? Whatever it was caused them to completely check out of the game. Accordingly, Pittsburgh scored their first and only goal of the game. Well, sort of. Brad Stuart made like Marc-Andre Fleury and put the puck in his own net on the PK. I spent the rest of the period counting down the time until intermission. The Wings were incredibly lucky to escape the first only down by a goal.

During that intermission, Mike Babcock, sports psychology genius, must've given one hell of a pep talk, because the Wings decided to re-enter the game. From that point on, it was all Detroit, on the scoreboard at least. Even though the Wings scored three straight goals, and held the Pens off for the rest of the night, Pittsburgh had way too many good chances for my liking. The good news is that the Wings continued to get the bounces and lucky breaks that stole the show in Game 1.

At one point, Z saved a goal by laying down on the goal line and blocking the puck. The play went under review, and accordingly, I nearly passed out from holding my breath, but my rational mind knew that there was no way they could overrule the ref's no-goal call. There simply was no camera angle that showed anything. That puck may very well have been over the goal line. Was it? I suspect only Henrik Zetterberg knows that, and I doubt he's willing to tell. Z played yet another amazing game, not that I'd expect anything less from the man. Once again, he's owned Crosby. Seriously, though. Z's been an absolute beast on the defensive side of the puck. This is how he gets his jollies. Some people get drunk, some people go sky-diving, some people live vicariously through themselves. Hank simply selects a target and completely owns said hockey player. Not only is he owning Crosby, but he seems to have gotten to Malkin, as well. I think he's inside every single one of the Penguins' heads, like Mel Gibson in that stupid movie. He knows every single one of their deepest, darkest thoughts. Such as: Max Talbot wants to have Z's children, MAF is having liposuction as soon as this series is over, and Bill Guerin is jealous of his beard. These are just a few of the less disturbing revelations that Z has come across, but I assure you, there are many, many more.

The Grand Rapids Griffins once again stole the show. Ericsson and Helm teamed up for the tying goal, with Helm winning the faceoff and heading straight to the front of the net to set up a screen. Abdelkader scored another early third period goal (this one at 2:47, one second later than his goal in Game 1). This is from A2Y, and pretty much says it all: "And meanwhile, maybe all those Pittsburgh fans were right. Maybe they can beat Detroit. But the question they should be asking is, can they beat the Grand Rapids Griffins? Justin Abdelkader and Jonathon Ericsson tonite. Abdelkader last night. Darren Helm all night, both nights. Like a frigging porn star." There's really nothing I can add to that. It has to be supremely frustrating for the Pens, what with their expectation of being able to walk all over the Wings with Dangle Dangle out and Lidstrom coming back from an injury, to find themselves being beaten by a bunch of kids who spent the whole regular season in the minors. No wonder Malkin went after Z at the end of the game.

Speaking of said fight, after a review process which lasted approximately .0347 seconds, the NHL announced that it was rescinding Malkin's automatic suspension. I'm not remotely surprised. It's a stupid rule anyway on account that it's almost never enforced. I have to say that I didn't enjoy it as much as I normally would, due to the fact that I was yelling, "Please don't break your face, or your hand, or veins in your brain!" I'd be lying, though, if I said I wasn't secretly hoping for Z to make like Darren McCarty in his classic New Year's Eve fight. Anyway, it just looked like a lot of frustration boiling over from a team that's probably played well enough to win, and yet finds themselves staring down the barrel of yet another 2-0 deficit. It would've been nice of Malkin to put his stick down before throwing punches, but at this point in the playoffs, I'll take what I can get. I've honestly never had a problem with Malkin before, but I think a little less of him now. Mostly for going after Z when he was being held back by the ref and clearly wanted no part of it. Satan tried to jump in and double team Z, but he apparently decided that it wasn't worth it. I hope I wasn't the only one amused by the fact that Malkin somehow ended up with both his and Z's jerseys attached to him.

Malkin probably shouldn't be the one who is frustrated, though. He's been in on both of the Pens' goals this series, and scared the crap out of me nearly every time he touched the puck. That's why they need Datsyuk back. They need him to work his magic on Malkin since Z's doing another spectacular job owning Crosby. The other Pens forward who consistently scared me was Miroslav Satan. I don't know why, but I heard his name called entirely too much inside the Wings' zone.

I know I mentioned Darren Helm earlier, but I really can't say enough about this kid. Kenny Holland needs to sign him to a long-term deal now while his price is still cheap. Once again, it seemed like he never left the ice. I decided that this is because he never has "invisible" shifts. Every single time he's out on the ice, he's doing something positive, whether it's forechecking, backchecking, checking, or even just skating really, really fast. Some guys have games in which you don't notice them until late in the third period, and you find yourself wondering where they've been for the whole game. Not so for Darren Helm. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ozzie played another fantastic game tonight. But for Stuart knocking that puck in, he might've pitched a shutout. As good as some of his saves were, he got a lot of help from his old buddies, the goal posts. Also, I think he's been taking puck-handling lessons from Dominick Hasek. I'm not sure he passed the puck to a Red Wing once all game. I was having flashbacks to all of the times I wanted to install a dog fence around the crease and give Dom a zap collar. I even own one now, so it would've been easy. (A dog fence, not a Hasek.)

Hossa also had a heck of a game. He knows that his psyche is on the line in this series, and it doesn't look like he wants to live with the emotional trauma that would result from choosing the wrong team to sign with. He very quietly turned in two assists.

And, just because he's so good that he often goes unnoticed/unmentioned...how about Nick Lidstrom? Two games, two goals allowed against the super-hyped Pittsburgh offense? Z gets a lot of the credit for his work on Crosby, but my God, it seems like Lidstrom's always there. Just when you think disaster is imminent, the Swede negates the play and then, presumably, returns to his hammock and Corona. Seriously. He's that relaxed. He should be in one of their commercials.

So now the series shifts to Pittsburgh, where hopefully Jean-Claude Van Damme doesn't need to make an appearance. With the Pens having the last change, it'll be harder to get the match-ups the Wings would like against the Crosby and Malkin lines. I wouldn't be surprised to see a little line-shuffling going on, but then again, Babs might not want to mess with a winning formula. I've got my fingers crossed that Datsyuk will be back, and I'm trying to work out a deal with the Hockey Gods, but I'm not all that optimistic. Filppula's done a decent job on Malkin in his absence, but, let's face it, you don't just replace Dangle Dangle.

The scary thing is that the Wings haven't played a real "Red Wings hockey" game yet this series. And yet they find themselves up 2-0 against the Penguins. If the Wings can bring their A-game on the road Tuesday/Thursday and get #13 back in the lineup, this might be a shorter series than everyone's predicting. One thing is for sure: they'll need to play better than they have been if they plan on keeping their home ice advantage. And you know that every man in a Penguins sweater is praying to the Hockey Gods that the Wings keep playing the way they have been. These two games could've gone either way, and it's mostly through good luck, some big saves, and the fourth line working its collective ass off that the Wings find themselves in this position.

The bottom line is: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and I will all be dreaming about Henrik Zetterberg tonight, but for decidedly different reasons...

Fleeting Moments that Make Me Glad to Be A Hockey Fan...

I missed this on CBC last night. I just wish I had a way to combine NBC's HD video feed with the audio from CBC. Unfortunately, they're not quite in sync, so that wouldn't work anyway. This video is friggin' awesome, though. Coldplay's not exactly what comes to mind when I think of music to pair with hockey highlights, but it works, and it's actually really beautiful. It kind of makes me wish I lived in Canada. It also makes me want to make one of my own, sans Pittsburgh highlights. It'll never happen though. Enjoy:



Also, no Dangle Dangle once again. I'm getting the feeling that we won't be seeing him until training camp, as much as it pains me to say that.

Aside from that, Bingo Bango agrees with me about Crosby's whining and refusal to allow for the possibility that opposing players might occasionally make good plays against him. Last year, I described my hatred for Crosby as "semi-irrational," but the more I see and hear from him, the more I'm leaning toward dropping the "semi" part.

Speaking of Crosby, he looks like the unholy love child of Napoleon Dynamite and his friend Pedro with that nasty 'stache. Just...use a razor. At least Malkin had the guts to admit that he can't grow a very good beard.

The one thing that's getting me through the day is remembering that the Wings didn't play entirely up to their level. They maybe brought their B game. And they won last night. So, on the off chance that they decide to bust out the A game tonight, things will be looking pretty good. At least that's what I keep telling myself in order to keep from vomiting.

And So it Begins...

With about three hours till faceoff, the anxiety is starting to set in. The traditional game-day questions are running through my head: Which Wings team will show up to play? Will they even bother showing up for the first period? Will Ozzie continue to play up to his level? How many times will seeing Sidney Crosby's face make me puke?

On top of that, Datsyuk's been ruled out for tonight, and presumably tomorrow. I say 'presumably' because if his foot hasn't improved enough to play in a week and a half, I presume that one more night isn't going to help a whole lot. (I also choose to assume that the foot is combined with some other non-specified injury that's been nagging him for most of the playoffs.) Even at 75%, the Wings need Datsyuk. I don't care if he hasn't been scoring. The Wings need him to shut down Crosby and Malkin. Without him in the lineup, I don't like the look of the series. It's not that the other forwards aren't strong defensively. It's just that nobody does it like Dangle Dangle. Few things are more beautiful than watching him backcheck, strip the puck from an opposing player, turn up ice and create a scoring chance for the Wings. I laugh and clap every time. It never gets old. I'm like a five-year-old.

A friend at work says that he secretly hopes that Game 1 will go to three or four overtimes just to show Bettman and the league how stupid they are. I'd be all for this if I enjoyed OT in the playoffs. Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to make a fool out of Gary Bettman (as if he needs any help), I'd rather it didn't come at the expense of my physical well-being.

Half of My Soul is Out Tonight...

May the Hockey Gods help us, it looks like Dangle Dangle won't be playing tonight. I remember seeing him take that shot off the foot during the last game, but he kept playing, and I assumed that it just stung him. I'm holding out hope that this is just Babcock's attempt at Scotty Bowman-like mind games, but I'm really feeling like Datsyuk's going to be sitting this one out. When reports first hit about him possibly being out a couple of days ago, I brushed it off, figuring it would be just like Ericsson's foot injury in the second round. Now I'm hearing that his gear hasn't even been laid out in his locker and SI is saying that he's officially out for tonight. This has pretty much ruined my whole day. Now I have to go to work and smile at people and pretend to be nice and normal and not a crazed, hockey-obsessed little girl who just wants to go home to watch the game while curled up in a ball on the couch.

I don't care that he hasn't been putting up the points we'd expect from him this run. Chicago is still forced to spend a lot of time and energy in order to keep him off the board. Even if the man never scored another goal in his life, what he does on defense would still make him invaluable. If he can't go tonight, I have to assume that his foot's broken, in which case the show's over for him this season.

One of the Wings' strengths has always been their depth, but Dangle Dangle's not the kind of guy you just replace. I'm sure Leino will do an adequate job, but let's face it, Datsyuk's arguable the best all-around player int he world, and there's no way Leino can live up to that. Last year in the Finals, Datsyuk, Z, and Lidstrom teamed up to absolutely own Crosby and Malkin for 6 games. With the roll Crosby and Malkin are on, I don't like the Wings chances without Datsyuk, *if* they make it to the Finals.

I blame Drew Sharp. This is what happens when you tempt the wrath of the Hockey Gods by writing headlines like that when your team only has half of the necessary wins to advance. Just ask Toby Ziegler. Someone please crosscheck Drew Sharp.