Thoughts on the Realignment...

Now that I've finally had a chance to look at the realignment plans, I'm developing a deep sense of confusion. I actually feel like the NHL might've done something right. That doesn't happen very often, so it's going to take me a while to get used to that fact. It's not exactly what I would've drawn up in a perfect world, but it's a heck of a lot better than the current system. At least for the Wings and Columbus. It doesn't seem like it affects other teams nearly as much.

(Sidenote: All of these news articles are describing the decision as “radical.” Is it really that radical? The new Conferences don't deviate a whole lot from the way things are now.)

I think the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the Florida teams are grouped together with the northern teams in the East. It just doesn't make sense to me, and things like that tend to annoy me forever. Also, through my Wings-fan goggles, it seems an awful lot like pandering to teams like Pittsburgh, Philly, and Washington. On that note, funny how the coddled little Eastern teams ended up in the smaller divisions, eh?

I'm also not super excited about having to see the same old boring Central Division teams over and over again, but that has a lot to do with the current quality of competition. A couple of years down the road, those teams could change a lot and make life interesting. Well, maybe not Columbus, but you get the idea.

Mostly though, I like the fact that the Wings' travel is going to be cut down significantly. This makes the biggest difference in the playoffs. I've said for years that there would be at least two extra Stanley Cup banners hanging in the rafters from the last decade if the Wings had been in the Eastern Conference. Think about how much easier all of those long playoff runs would've been if they hadn't included multiple trips to the west coast. I've always secretly enjoyed the west coast roadtrips because I like staying up for the late games, but I recognize that I'm kind of strange in that sense.

I think my favorite part of the plan is the potential reseeding after the second round of the playoffs. It opens up a whole array of Finals match-ups that could never happen in the current format. Imagine if the Wings had been able to face the Avs in the Stanley Cup Finals during the rivalry years when they were the league's two best teams by a mile. Imagine the possibility of a “Subway Series” with the Rangers and Islanders matched up in the Finals. (That one was a joke, ok?) The league's top two teams should have the ability to play for the Cup in the Finals, even if they both happen to be from the same Conference.

Red Wings vs. Penguins GP...

Red Wings: 43-21-8

Penguins: 41-23-8

Red Wing Zen:

Jakub Kindl

1-2-3, +/- 2, 30 PIM

Point and Laugh:

James Neal

22-21-43, +/- 8, 64 PIM

Red Wings 1, Penguins 4: Post Game Snipes...

• I actually got to watch the game tonight, although the choppy feed and the fact that my internet was constantly cutting in and out made it tricky to get a good feel for the game. Still, it was live Red Wings hockey, and it made me happy.
• I ended up with the Pens feed, and at one point in the first period, their announcers described the Wings as a wounded animal that you just want to put out of its misery.
• As soon as the Wings got something going with a Mule goal off of a strong play by Zetterberg, the Pens came back and answered.
• I love Patrick Eaves, but seeing him on the top powerplay unit isn't really what I'd call awesome.
• I didn't get to see the first goal, but Joey MacDonald looked pretty decent.

Hero: Johan Franzen
He got the Wings on the board and gave them hope, albeit briefly. He had a couple of other good chances that he couldn't quite finish on.

Villain: Chris Kunitz
He ended what little momentum the Wings were able to build by scoring almost immediately after Mule cut the lead to one.

Final Thought:
At least half of the Pens' broadcast was devoted to showing clips of their most recent Cup win and talking about stats from it. Can you say, “inferiority complex?”

Red Wings vs. Penguins GP...

Red Wings: 28-11-6

Penguins: 28-14-4

Red Wing Zen:

Tomas Tatar

1-0-1, +/- -1, 0 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Mike Rupp

4-4-8, +/- 1, 72 PIM

Red Wings 3, Penguins 1: Post Game Snipes...

• It feels like it’s been forever since I wrote one of these. I’m a little rusty.
• First off, congrats to all the folks with DirecTV who finally got to watch their first Versus broadcast of the season.
  
• The Wings looked good last night. After these last few weeks, I finally feel like I recognize those guys skating around in jerseys with the Winged Wheel on them.
• One of the Wings’ powerplays was so good that the Penguins looked like they were a peewee team trying to keep up with the grownups. Unfortunately, it didn’t end up with a puck in the net.
• Versus showed a shot of Ozzie on the bench apparently whispering sweet nothings into Paul Boyer’s ear. At one point, I thought he was going to plant a kiss on his cheek. I guess he’s having a good time, at least.
• The Eurotwins were out in full force last night. Please tell me that there’s a photoshop out there with them in a Captain Planet cartoon combining their powers.
• Hank called Bertuzzi “Ber-toot-sie” in an interview. I realize that it’s technically the real way to pronounce it, but it made me snicker.
• Back in September, if you had told me that seeing Jimmy Howard look like he was hurt was nearly going to give me a heart attack, I would’ve laughed at you. Luckily, he bounced right back and was more than ready to perform some late-game heroics.
• I’ve never once said that Crosby sucks or denied that he’s a talented player. My issue with him is his insistence on acting like a spoiled little brat. His attack on Zetterberg, who did nothing that I saw to provoke anything, was cheap and selfish. Instead of trying to put a puck in the net, he was focused on cross-checking Z from behind. That’s the kind of thing that would’ve had me yelling at the TV if it was coming from a Wing. Not so with Pittsburgh fans as they were quick to rush to his defense. His comments after the game were absurd and just as indicative of his self-centeredness. There really is something to be said for class, and Crosby is completely devoid of any semblance of it.
• Jimmy Howard solidified his place in Wings fans’ hearts when he jumped to Zetterberg’s defense. I kept rewinding the scrum at the end on my DVR and rewatching it, and I laughed every time.
• This is one of my new favorite quotes ever: “I saw Jimmy coming in with his glove and Crosby wasn’t there anymore.’’~Z
  

GP Answers:
1. How close to the final horn are the Wings going to wait to score a goal this time around?
They scored with less than a minute left in the first, but other than that, it was fairly undramatic. The real end-of-game drama came from Gary’s baby.

2. Will any Wings fans even make it to the opening faceoff before wanting to toss their TVs out of the window due to all of Versus’ inevitable Penguin-fawning? This would be an interesting thing for me to try since I live in the basement and I’d actually have to heave the TV up and out of the egress ditch.
I solved this problem by not watching the pre-game show.

3. What great new word or phrase are the Versus announcers going to delight us with tonight? In the past, we’ve been treated to ‘mastodonic,’ and more recently ‘Danglelicious.” I’m eagerly awaiting more of their oratorical brilliance.
Sadly, we weren’t treated to any delicious creativity.

4. Who is Matt Cooke going to try to kill tonight?
It turned out that Cooke wasn’t the one the Wings had to be looking over their shoulders for.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Henrik Zetterberg
There’s very little that you can do to convince me that Sidney Crosby doesn’t have nightmares about Zetterberg shadowing him anywhere and everywhere he goes.

Drew Miller the Golden Facepalm
He missed another glorious opportunity. I don't know what he was up to during the two games I missed, but the last little stretch seems to have been filled with numerous chances that should've resulted in goals for him if he had a little more finish.

What I Learned:
A whole week without hockey is horrendous.

Red Wings vs. Penguins GP...

I didn’t get to watch either of the last two games, as I’m still in New Orleans. My airport shuttle was kind enough to pick me up from my hotel 4 hours before my flight leaves. I was, of course, the first one on the bus. It turns out that the only food place that opens before 10:30 on this side of airport security only serves watery scrambled eggs, and I haven’t eaten since, oddly enough, the hotel didn’t have its breakfast set up yet when I left at 6:45 am. This is just uncivilized. There’s also a dog somewhere nearby that keeps barking. If that thing gets on my flight, I’m walking home to Detroit. I’m eagerly anticipating getting home to my DVR though. I tried playing the clips of the goals, but this internet doesn’t seem to be able to stream video. It’s free though, so I really can’t complain (about that…the lack of nourishment is fair game).

1. How close to the final horn are the Wings going to wait to score a goal this time around?
2. Will any Wings fans even make it to the opening faceoff before wanting to toss their TVs out of the window due to all of Versus’ inevitable Penguin-fawning? This would be an interesting thing for me to try since I live in the basement and I’d actually have to heave the TV up and out of the egress ditch.
3. What great new word or phrase are the Versus announcers going to delight us with tonight? In the past, we’ve been treated to ‘mastodonic,’ and more recently ‘Danglelicious.” I’m eagerly awaiting more of their oratorical brilliance.
4. Who is Matt Cooke going to try to kill tonight?

It’s been an entire week since I saw a lick of hockey. This had better be good. Geaux Wings!

Red Wings 1, Penguins 2 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• The shootout was disappointing for sure, but let’s not kid ourselves…the Wings were lucky to get a point today. The first 40 minutes of the game were far more disappointing than anything we saw in the skills competition.
• I’ve decided to stop trying to understand this team’s inability/unwillingness to show up for games. Instead of driving myself crazy trying to figure it out, I’m just going to accept it for what it is.
• I had a Qdoba burrito for brunch today. I didn’t realize the irony until I was halfway through eating it. Does Bylsma still do that before every game? It can’t be good for his waistline.
• Pierre McGuire kept saying that the game was being played with playoff intensity. He was either watching a different game or only referring to the Penguins.
• It was nice of the Wings to wake up in time for the third.
• Thank goodness Jimmy Howard brought his A-game today. Otherwise, the score could’ve been ugly. He got some help from the posts, crossbar, and some near-misses by the Penguins, but he’s the one and only reason the Wings skated away with a point today.
• Every time the third line takes a shift, I fall in love.
• Filppula missed a couple of glorious chances. It made me sad.
  
• Why would you send Jason Williams (Who?) out in the shootout before Zetterberg? I know Z’s not the greatest in shootouts, but Williams didn’t even appear to try. He shot it directly into MAF’s glove. He didn’t even have to move it to make the save. I would’ve sent Filppula out before him too, for that matter.
• Great job everyone over at the Winging it in Motown fundraiser. It was a lot of fun, even though it was weird to see Twitter so quiet during the game.
  

GP Answers:
1. Are the Wings going to have some semblance of a defense? The kind of game they played Friday night isn’t going to fly against the Penguins.
The turnovers weren’t as much of a problem today as they were on Friday. The Wings’ main issue was a complete and utter inability to play hockey for most of the game.

2. How long is it going to take for NBC’s broadcast to make Wings fans want to off themselves? Between missed goals and Crosby worship, this game is going to be filled with goodies for all of us.
I don’t think they even made it to the opening faceoff before we were all ready to mute our TVs. At least we didn’t miss any goals this time around.

3. I wrote about the powerplay sarcastically on Friday, and the Wings made me look silly by converting two of them, and scoring just three seconds after another one. Can they make that a trend so that powerplay success becomes the norm again instead of an exception?
No. They even had a powerplay chance to end overtime and couldn’t convert. That needs to get fixed. Soon.

4. The first line has been acting like a first line lately. You’d like to think that they would show up for a game like this. Will we see the brilliance from the Eurotwins that we’re accustomed to in big games?
Datsyuk and Zetterberg were the Wings’ best forwards all game, not that it took much to stand out today for most of the game.

5. The Wings got passed in the standings again. Petty desires for revenge or retribution for us fans don’t really matter anymore. The Wings need to win this one to jump back into the 8-spot. Can they do it?
Well, no. They’re now tied with Calgary point-wise, but are still in 9th place because they lose the tiebreaker.

6. I hate wondering if the Wings are going to show up before every single game. It’s been a valid question for all of this season, though. What kind of effort are we going to see from the whole team?
Hahahahaha. Don’t even get me started. It’s disgusting, it’s frustrating, it’s appalling, it’s disheartening, etc, etc, etc.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Jimmy Howard
I have this secret hope that Jimmy walked into the locker room after the game and beat every single one of his teammates with his goal stick while screaming incoherently. I’m sure that didn’t happen, but it has to be annoying to consistently be the only one showing up for games.

Darren Helm gets the Golden Facepalm
I love the guy, but you just can’t leave Sidney Crosby wide open like that. This really could’ve gone to a number of guys, though.

What I Learned:
The Office is NBC’s only redeeming quality.

Red Wings vs. Penguins GP...

1. Are the Wings going to have some semblance of a defense? The kind of game they played Friday night isn’t going to fly against the Penguins.
2. How long is it going to take for NBC’s broadcast to make Wings fans want to off themselves? Between missed goals and Crosby worship, this game is going to be filled with goodies for all of us.
3. I wrote about the powerplay sarcastically on Friday, and the Wings made me look silly by converting two of them, and scoring just three seconds after another one. Can they make that a trend so that powerplay success becomes the norm again instead of an exception?
4. The first line has been acting like a first line lately. You’d like to think that they would show up for a game like this. Will we see the brilliance from the Eurotwins that we’re accustomed to in big games?
5. The Wings got passed in the standings again. Petty desires for revenge or retribution for us fans don’t really matter anymore. The Wings need to win this one to jump back into the 8-spot. Can they do it?
6. I hate wondering if the Wings are going to show up before every single game. It’s been a valid question for all of this season, though. What kind of effort are we going to see from the whole team?

Red Wings vs. Stars GP...

1. The Wings are once again sniffing at a playoff spot tonight and they also have a chance to put some distance between themselves and a team that’s coming up behind them in the standings. They’ll need some things to fall into place for them, since both LA and Vancouver are also playing today, but by night’s end, the Wings could potentially be tied for 7th place in the conference. You’d like to think that this would be the kind of game the boys could get motivated for, so which version of the Wings will we get treated to this afternoon?
2. The Wings’ powerplay actually served its purpose a couple of times on Thursday night. This was quite an exciting change of pace for us Wings fans. Is there any chance that we’ll get to see a little more of that today?
3. Now that Lidstrom’s little scoring drought has been ended, I’ve decided to pick on Pav. He looked better last game than he has of late, but he’s had a tendency to fade away for a couple of games at a time before roaring back to life. Can he follow up Thursday’s effort with an even better one, or will we be wondering if he even played a shift by the end of the game?
4. Drew Miller had an amazing game Thursday night. If he keeps it up, he’s going to enter the realm of the unbenchable. Is he going to be able to follow that up with another remarkable effort?

Anyway, the one good thing about the LA and Vancouver games today is that they’re against teams in the East. I know the Western Conference is much better than the East, but at least if the results are favorable to the Wings, the two points will be going out of conference, and any potential 3-point games won’t hurt as much. Are you ready to root for Pittsburgh (and Boston, although that doesn’t hurt as much) tonight?

Go East, Young Men...

In an effort to avoid the million things that I’m supposed to be doing, I decided to play around with the standings differential between the Eastern and Western Conferences. We’ve long maintained that the Wings would’ve been even more dominant if they’d been able to cakewalk through the East for all these years. These are the numbers that I came up with for so far this season (through Sunday):

The 15 Western Conference teams have a total of 730 points. The 15 teams in the East? Merely 683. I was so surprised by the differential that I double checked my addition. The current playoff teams in the West have a total of 438 points, while the Eastern teams only have 409. The eighth place team in the West has 51 points, but the eighth place team in the East has 45. The Wings’ 48 points would place them 6th in the Eastern conference, because they have a game in hand on the Senators who also have 48 points.

I came up with two possible explanations for the difference in numbers: 1. The teams in the West have played more overtime “three-point” games or 2. The Western Conference teams have been winning more of their games against the East.

The teams in the West have accumulated a total of 78 overtime losses, 61 of which have come against in-conference opponents. On the other hand Eastern teams have 81 overtime losses, with 65 of them coming against other teams in the East. Teams in the Eastern Conference have actually played more three-point games than teams in the West have.

Looking at the Western Conference’s cumulative record against the East gives pretty good support to explanation #2. The West is 84-44-17 in games against Eastern teams. The East is only 61-68-16. They’re not even .500 against the West this season. In fact, only three Western Conference teams are below .500 against teams from the East. Those three teams are St. Louis, Edmonton, and Anaheim, who currently occupy three of the bottom four spots in the West. There are only six Eastern Conference teams who have winning records against the West: Pittsburgh, Boston, Buffalo, Atlanta, Washington, and Florida. Not surprisingly, that group of teams accounts for positions 2-5 in the standings, with only Atlanta and Florida being the outliers.

That just goes to show you that when we call it the Leastern Conference, we really mean it. Must be nice, eh?

Guess What I Want for My Birthday Cake Next Year...

Now it’s no secret that I’m a fan of baked goods. I’m also quite fond of mocking others’ mistakes. So it should come as no surprise that I’m an avid reader of the blog Cake Wrecks, which is dedicated to showcasing professional cake-making disasters. This morning’s post combined two of my great loves (sports and the aforementioned sweets) for an homage to poorly executed sports-themed cakes, cupcakes, and cookies. Imagine my delight at finding an inconspicuously hockey themed one as I was doing my daily skimming. Take a look at this little beauty:


It’s labeled “competitive sweeping.” If not for that handy handy title, I would have had no idea that it was supposed to be a broom. At first I was trying to figure out what it had to do with sports (curling?), but upon closer inspection I noticed the “Go Pen’s!” written on the cake board. (Although, for the record, I read “Pen’s” as something else. Beware the dangers of improperly placed apostrophes…) We’ll let that slide though, because I think the real genius is the list of player numbers written on what appears to be the broom handle. Now, non-hockey fans who saw the grid-like list were probably calling in Robert Langdon to break the code or running out to play a Pick-6 Lotto number, but I recognized it for what it was: a really lame attempt at a hockey cake.

Based on the sweep talk, I'm assuming that it's circa the Conference Finals this season, but it could date back to last season. Meanwhile, Wings bakers were turning out gems like these:

and

I know which cake I'd like to snack on. I'm just saying, we do things a little better here in Hockeytown.

Finally A Game Worth Watching...

The Wings looked pretty good tonight. Jimmy Howard was sharp, the powerplay actually worked, and the Pens' only goal was incredibly fluky. It's about time they looked like they actually wanted to be playing hockey.

A few notes from the game:

--This was the first game I’ve been able to watch a game on TV. Thank you, cable guy who works on Saturdays. I really missed Mickey Redmond.
--Unfortunately, Mickey and Ken were trying to kill me by repeatedly showing Penguins highlights from the Finals last year. Why? Seriously.
--The Pens did not look happy to see Kris Draper. Good. He played pretty well again. I like the looks of angry name twin heading into the season.
--Franzen had another goal to tie the game up at 1. Is this the year when he scores like a beast for the whole season instead of waiting until March to show up? Yes, please.
--The Wings allowed two shorthanded breakaways. They very narrowly avoided a third. I was pretty sure that they were going for an NHL record or something. The first one led to a penalty shot, which Jimmy Howard stopped. It ended up working out quite nicely because the Wings got to stay on the powerplay and Franzen promptly scored.
--The Pens’ goal was ridiculously fluky, as it bounced off of Meech’s skate into the open net. No fault at all to Howard on that one. After tonight, I feel much better about him backing Ozzie up. Which, coupled with the Lions’ victory, may be a sign that the world is about to end.
--Nik Kronwall in his street clothes and nerdy glasses looks like an accountant or an IT guy. Not a guy who does things like this.
--Because I know you were dying to know: Mickey Redmond is apparently a DirecTV customer, and as such is unable to watch the Wings’ season premiere on Friday. Awesome.
--Chris Kunitz went after Franzen like a punk. I still haven’t figured out how the Wings ended up shorthanded out of that scrum.
--Rafalski had a four point night.
--Datsyuk continued to look like he was in a class of his own out there. Seriously, at times this pre-season, he’s looked like he’s playing keep away with a bunch of kids. He absolutely threaded the needle on a pass to Franzen during a Wings powerplay. Mickey Redmond said, “He can do what he wants, whenever he wants. He's that good." If he keeps it up, he’ll be looking at his second consecutive Hart nomination. You heard it here first.
--Jason Williams also had a very good night. I think my cold heart might be starting to warm to the new arrivals/returnees.

And now the Wings are off to Sweden for one last exhibition game and the two game series against the Blues. Words cannot describe how excited I am for the season to start.

The NHL Schedule and Video Madness...

So the NHL released next season’s schedule yesterday. This is always an exciting day for me because now I can plan my life for the next 10 months or so. My friends and family now know the 82 times between October and April during which they should not attempt to contact me. This is very important for them because over the years, they’ve learned to check the score of the Wings game before asking me for something. If things are going well, then they’ll hop on the phone asking for favors galore. If things aren’t looking so hot, they know to put off their requests until such time as I’m likely to be cheerful.

I’m really looking forward to the games in Sweden. If I had money instead of school, I’d totally be there. Unfortunately, that’s not how my life has worked out to this point. So instead, I’ll be chilling on the couch, celebrating the fact that the football game is away that weekend, and diving right back into my obsessive fandom.

I’m not going to go over the schedule. Enough people have done that already, and I don’t have much to add. Someone commented on Snapshots that the March schedule is brutal. I’d have to agree with that. I don’t think it’s going to be any different for any other teams though. The NHL schedulers have been lauded for not increasing the number of back-to-back games this year to account for the Olympic break. Instead there are just more one-day breaks between games. This is good for me as a fan, maybe not so good for the players. Remember last year when there was that five or six day-long gap in the Wings’ schedule for no apparent reason? That was miserable. None of that this year.

Other things of note: the Wings play Pittsbugh twice. I half expected the NHL to schedule them to play against the Pens in their home opener just so Gary Bettman could get the satisfaction of forcing them to watch the banner raise. Thankfully, the Hockey Gods aren’t quite cruel enough to allow that. They also play Alex Ovechkin and the Caps twice, which is nice since he’s only played at the Joe once before (Thanks for that, NHL and your misguided attempt to force teams into rivalries.). Other than that, it’s nice to see the New Year’s Eve game return. Not that the Winter Classic wasn’t worth it last year, but it was a little bit sad to miss that tradition last year.

Now that the schedule’s out, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Summer’s never been my favorite season. Some kids reveled in their summers, thrilled to be off of school and enjoying the weather. I spent my summers dreaming of ice and free agents and October. I realize that this isn’t entirely normal, but it is what it is. I can totally sympathize with this article, written by Paul Kukla of Kukla’s Korner fame for NHL.com. It’s pretty much the story of my life.

Snapshots pointed me to this video of Darren McCarty at the hockey camp at the Joe. Because, clearly, as a Wings fan, you needed another reason to love the guy.

I also stumbled across this on YouTube. It’s not necessarily Red Wings-related, but it made my friend and I laugh hysterically. There’s apparently a whole series of them on YouTube using the same clip. The Michael Jackson one’s pretty good too. In other amazing hockey-related video news, head over to Japers' Rink and check out these two videos. It’ll be worth your while. I promise.

I’m not even going to touch the Jiri Hudler saga. That one’s just going to have to play itself out. I can’t shake the feeling that the Wings are getting completely hosed with the whole deal, but I’m not one of those people who thinks that it’s intentional on the NHL’s part. I think they’ve been looking for a chance to make this an issue for a while, and the Wings were just lucky enough to be the ones to get caught in the cross-fire. I really don’t see Hudler suiting up for the Wings next season. I just think it would be nice to be able to get something back for developing him as an asset. You’re not supposed to lose valuable RFAs for nothing. Unless you fail to mail their qualifying offers in time. Oh no, what kind of postal nightmare have I brought upon myself for daring to mock them again? I’m going to leave you with that while I go cower in a corner and await the terrible consequences of that last comment.

Preseason Scheduling and More of Jiri's Saga...

The Wings announced their exhibition schedule yesterday. This is exciting if for no other reason than that it gives us hockey fans a “light at the end of the tunnel” that we can look forward to. The real schedule is supposed to drop on the 15th or 16th, which is nice because it will give my friends and family plenty of advance notice for the 82 dates/times between October and April during which they should not attempt to contact me.

The Wings begin the preseason on September 16th when fan-favorite Chris Pronger and his elbows the Flyers come to the Joe. The Wings will also face the Rangers, the Sabres, the Leafs, and the Penguins before heading over to Sweden and playing Farjestads. Then they’ll kick off the real season with back-to-back games in Stockholm, which should be fantastically fun to watch.

The saga of Jiri Hudler continued today as the NHL filed some sort of complaint with the IIHF because they consider Hudler to be under contract with the Wings. Apparently filing for arbitration was an indication of his intent to play in the NHL next year. I find this all very ironic because it seems like not too long ago the KHL was complaining about NHL teams poaching players. My problem is that even if the IIHF were to rule in the NHL’s favor, would the Wings even want a disgruntled Hudler who felt like he got screwed by being forced to play for half of the money? I’m not sure I would.

The Examiner had a pretty good analysis of how the Wings can adjust for losing Hudler. I actually kind of like the idea of using Meech as a full-time forward. Especially if Lilja is able to play. The Wings don’t really need Meech back on the blue line, and he did a decent job at forward when he played there last season. I also like the fact that it would leave them with a little bit of cap room to play with at the trade deadline. If nothing else, it would give Kenny Holland a little while to adequately assess what the team needs instead of tying his hands now.

None of the options presented in the article are particularly spectacular, but thanks to the ever-lovely salary cap, there aren't a whole lot of options out there. All I can do is sit back and put on my "In Ken We Trust" t-shirt and know that he'll figure something out. (OK, I don't actually have a shirt like that, but you have to admit that it'd be pretty awesome if I did.)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Part Two...

The bad:

This just gets more and more fun as it goes on. Stay tuned for the Ugly coming up soon. Why do I like this part better than the good? Do you really have to ask? Let's face it, it's a lot more fun to make snarky comments and mock things than to praise them. I'm not sure what that says about my personality, but I can assure you, it's nothing good.

--I'll start with the obvious: Game 7. This one needs no explanation. It's going to take a while to get over that one.
--In a related note: Max Talbot. I passed a street named Talbot yesterday, and I shuddered. I twitch when I hear someone say the name Max. At one point a few months ago, I was checking out at Target and my total was $34.70. I had to add a candy bar just so that number wouldn't show up on my credit card bill. Seriously. I think metro-Detroit area psychiatrists are going to be overwhelmed by an epidemic of Max-Talbot-induced neurotic disorders. And yet, I can't find it within myself to hate the man. That's incredibly strange considering how feisty I generally am, but it's probably a symptom of my recently acquired psychiatric disorder. At least I'll have good company when they finally throw me in the loony bin with all of the other die hard Wings fans.
--The penalty kill. All season long, this was an absolute disaster. And the worst part was that no matter how many hours I spent attempting to find a rational explanation for why it was so bad, I never quite found an answer. With their great defensive corps, combined with the top two-way forwards in the league, there's no reason the Wings' PK shouldn't have been number one in the league.
--The spectacular disappearance of the Wings vaunted secondary scoring during the Finals. I was betting on the Wings walking away with the Cup because I figured the stars would cancel each other out, making it a battle of the third and fourth lines. It turns out that I was pretty much right. The problem was that Pittsburgh's depth guys managed to get the job done when it mattered most whereas the Wings' didn't accomplish a whole lot. Part of me hopes that they all spend their summers wallowing in misery like I am.
--I keep waiting for a day when a player, disturbed by Pierre McGuire's lack of respect for personal space, finally cross checks him right out of his little "cubicle" between the benches and into the stands, where drunken fans will proceed to polish his head and spill nacho cheese all over him. Seriously. Has he never been introduced to the concept of a "bubble?" Watching his interviews made me shudder for the sake of the players involved.
--The NHL's officiating continued to decline in quality. I've already ranted about it in several different posts, so I'm not going to waste my time again. It's almost disgraceful at times. Suffice it to say that the NHL is the laughing-stock of professional sports leagues.
--On the subject of officiating, the failure to call Pittsburgh's too many men on the ice penalty still blows my mind. We'll never know for sure if it had a significant impact on the game or not, but my God. You'd like to think that the NHL would make sure its referees could count at least up to double digits before they were hired. And if it's true that instead of calling the penalty, they warned the Penguins to get their extra guy off of the ice, well, now we're opening doors to paths that I don't even want to think about.
--There's this guy named Cabbie who does interviews with the players. I have no idea how he got this job, but it makes me sad when I think about the number of really bright people I know who are unemployed. Even if you ignore the Terminator effects he used to spice up this interview with Nick Lidstrom, watching him grope the Swede toward the end did damage to my psyche that will never be quite undone. I would pay good money to know what was going on in Lidstrom's head at that moment.
--On the subject of Lidstrom, the quasi-suspensions he and Pavel Datsyuk received for not attending the All Star game were an absolute joke. Especially in light of the number of "automatic" suspensions that were overturned by the league during the playoffs. It's not that sitting out a game in the middle of the regular season was all that serious. If anything, it was probably good for them to get an extra couple of days to recuperate. It was the principle of the matter, and when people wonder why there are so many conspiracy theorists amongst the Wings' fan base, they need look no further than things like that.
--Then there was the loss of Mrs. Hockey. It was a sad day for everyone in the hockey community, and especially those of us in Hockeytown. Obviously I didn't know her, but I can't help but think that we would've gotten along. I've always liked trailblazers like her, and especially women who weren't content to just stay home and cook and care for the kids.
--Pavel Datsyuk's Dr. Rahmani ad. I love Datsyuk. I really do. But every time this ad came on, I couldn't help but laugh at the poor man. Please, Pav, next year, find something better to shill for.
--That 7-6 loss to the Penguins during the regular season. This remains one of the most spectacular third period collapses I've ever seen. Thinking about it still makes me a little bit angry.

On a more personal note:
--There is literally no one happier that the playoffs are over than my poor puppy. All through the playoffs, I seemed to come up with new and more humiliating ways to torment her. Due to my boredom as I waited out the break between the first and second rounds, one night I decided it would be a good idea to give her a haircut. Let's just say that there's a reason I'm not a dog groomer. At another point, my brother dug out his Al the octopus stuffed animal with velcro tentacles and strapped it around her back so we could take pictures. After attending a game during the third round, we brought our red and white pom poms home and stuck them in her collar, again to take pictures. During the Finals, I dressed her in my old Shanny baseball-style jersey and spent half an hour trying to convince her to chew on her squeaky penguin toy. I don't think I've ever seen anything as pathetic as when she curled up on the floor in miserable defeat because the jersey kept tripping her. All this was on top of us trying to train her to bark when the Wings scored. The poor puppy did not deserve any of this.
--One of the games I went to this season was a loss to Colorado. I know the rivalry's dead and all, but I came into my own as a Wings fan during the heat of the Wings-Avs rivalry, and a little part of me will always carry that with me. There's a reason I have a framed picture of Darren McCarty beating Claude Lemieux to a bloody pulp.
--Then there was the fact that I gave away work shifts (aka turned down money) in order to watch playoff games. Not that I would've been mentally functioning if I'd been working, but the teeny tiny rational part of my brain keeps reminding me how stupid that was.
--Being at the Hockeytown Cafe, again in the City Theater, for yet another potentially Cup-clinching loss. I don't think I'm ever going to go there for a playoff game again. Especially not in the Finals.

Part One: The Good
Part Three: The Ugly

Hell Yeah, I'm Proud...

At the end of my last post, I wrote something about being let down by the Wings. I don't know exactly what I said, because that would require me to go back and reread the most painful thing I've ever written in my life (and that's saying something coming from someone who's written 25-page papers on the prison system before). But over the last couple of days, I had a chance to do quite a bit of solo driving, which is always when I do my best thinking. And the more I thought about what I had written and the fact that I really had lost my faith during the second period, the worse I felt. I couldn't wait to get back to my computer and "make amends." I actually thought of being late to my camping trip so I could go back and write some more.

The truth is, I am proud of my boys. In the heat of the moment, while I was mourning the loss, I was angry and upset and miserable and mean. But in all honesty, this particular playoff run exemplified why I truly love the Wings (except for the part where they were supposed to win...).

They fought and they battled, seemingly uphill at times, and they carried an entire devastated region on their backs for two months. And that can't have been easy considering the amount of injuries they were playing with. (Kris Draper had torn neck cartilage? Seriously? I didn't even think that that was something that was possible. Also, I've never seen the word "testicle" tossed around in news coverage as frequently as I have the last few days. I'm completely astonished that Lidstrom had surgery on his balls during the third round and only missed two games. And I'm not even a guy. In the words of my brother, "What kind of a man does that to another man?" regarding the spearing incident. And those are just the beginning of the list.) I also once read somewhere that Detroit was the most overweight city in America, so that probably didn't help matters either.

It's not just the injuries that they battled through that make me proud, though. One of the moments that defines the playoff run in my mind was The Goal That Wasn't. A lot of lesser teams would have just called it quits and said, "this isn't our year," but the Wings battled back and won that series. They just put their heads down and went to work on the ice.

Mostly, though, I admire their class. I know it's talked about a lot in sports, and it's often irrelevant, but it seems like it always comes back to that for me. It's part of what makes me thank the Hockey Gods for the good fortune of growing up a Wings fan. It's also why I was so upset when they traded for Bertuzzi and was so glad when he left. While I have no idea what the players are like privately, it's nice to at least be able to admire their public personas, which is more than I can say for a lot of other teams out there.

This was most noticeable during the second round when it had been fairly well established that the refs were going to follow an "anything goes" policy. Anaheim had proven in the past that this was an effective way to win in the playoffs and seemed determined to do so again, but the Wings never stooped to their level. While Anaheim felt it was necessary to start after-game scrums (games they won, which I still haven't figured out) and rough up players, the Wings stuck to their tried and true "between the whistles" schtick. One of my brothers kept screaming for them to just do it back, and maybe that would've made the series easier to win. But I liked the fact that they didn't. Maybe that makes me less of a fan, but I'll go head-to-head with anyone else's rabid devotion if you want to make it a contest of who likes the Wings more.

The same thing was showcased during their blowout victories in Game 4 against Chicago and 5 against Pittsburgh. They just kept playing their game and let the other teams make fools of themselves as they paraded to the penalty box. Even when the Wings arguably lost their composure in Game 4 of the Finals, they never sank to the childish antics and vicious attacks that so many other teams resort to when faced with the frustration of being dominated.

There was an article linked to on Snapshots that claimed that Franzen would've become the poster boy for obstruction if the Pens had ended up losing. Which is really funny considering the egregious amounts of obstruction that were ignored against them. Especially when there's a guy on Crosby's team who somehow only managed two penalty minutes during the entire series. coughHalGillcough

I'm going to stop myself before this spirals out of control into an officiating rant. That's not what this post is supposed to be about. As much as I'm disappointed that they came up one game short, I really am proud of what the Wings did this season. They were counted out of every series, including the one against playoff-virgin Columbus, and went further in the playoffs than any other Cup-defenders since...themselves in 1998. Nobody expected that to happen, and in all honesty, neither did I, especially during the doldrums of February and March.

Over the course of the last two months, I've spent way too many hours pouring over every word of hockey coverage and run up more credit card bills at bars than I care to think about. I've drank approximately 687 gallons of Slurpees, and cut at least 17 years off of my life expectancy. But man, did I ever have a good time doing it.

Pain: Emotional and Physical...

This is something that I thought of at the beginning of the series, and I hoped upon hope that I wouldn't have to use. But here it is.

Regarding Marian Hossa:



Not only did he not come home with the Cup, but after his lackluster performance in the playoffs this year, his value as a free agent has to drop. Which sucks for him, because after last year he finally managed to shake the label of playoff-underachiever with his spectacular Finals, and now that label will probably follow him around for the rest of his career.

I actually took notes for a recap tonight. I don't think I want to put myself through that. Not that you want to read it either... So I'm just going to start typing, and see where it takes me.

This is all very disappointing. Pittsburgh already won the Super Bowl. I just thought it'd be nice for us Michiganians (I refuse to refer to myself as a Michigander. It sounds like a male goose.) to have something happy in our lives for a change.

It's possible that I will never forgive Brad Stuart. I realize that it's not all his fault, but I need a scapegoat right now, and he pretty much volunteered himself for that role.

And since his last-minute tying goal during Game 5 last year wasn't cruel enough, Max Talbot decided to play hero and score not one, but two goals tonight. So, good on him, I guess. That's the stuff that playoff legends are made of. I guess he got the childhood "pond hockey moment" he's been dreaming of his whole life.

All things considered, I'm handling things pretty well. I'm currently icing my foot down. It's possible that I sprained my toe while flailing around on the floor in front of my TV during the final minute. It probably wasn't my best moment, but things happen during the playoffs. I stayed to watch the Cup presentation, and I made it through most of the Pens' turns with it before I had to shut it off. (Random side note: Why did it take so long for it to get to Malkin? I'm just saying. It was weird, what with him being the MVP and all.) Then I took my dog for a long walk around the park. I realize that going for a walk alone in the middle of the night with only the world's most cowardly puppy to accompany you probably isn't the best thing for a female to do, but I needed to be alone and outdoors. And at that point, if someone wanted to stab me and hide my body in the bushes, well, I wouldn't have put up much of a fight anyway. It was only when I got home and took my shoes off that I realized I had done serious damage to my foot, and couldn't walk without shoes. So that was fun. Then I pulverized an entire package of Oreos with a meat tenderizer. This sounds irrationally aggressive, but I had reasons, and it would've happened win or lose. It's actually not a bad way to relieve stress. If you have some spare Oreos laying around, I recommend trying this.

My dog began the game gnawing on her squeaky penguin chew toy. I thought it might be a good omen. Even more promising was Darren Helm speeding into Pittsburgh's zone to negate an icing early on. For a while, it seemed like that set the tone. The Wings pressed early, but then the Pens took over around the 10-minute mark and never let up for the next 20 minutes. I spent a significant portion of the first period jumping up and down on my couch and screaming. The PK scared the living daylights out of me. I thought for sure that the puck was going to end up behind Ozzie when the Pens had possession for such a long time. They managed to kill it off, and I started to wonder if maybe it was a statement kill like in Game 5. It turned out to be more like a carbon copy of Game 6, though.

The Datsyuk-Zetterberg-Cleary line looked particularly good early on. They were really the only bright spot for the Wings. Even Darren Helm looked like he was dragging a little. Lidstrom made a bunch of straight-up solid defensive plays that, of course, flew under the radar.

Does anybody know why the icing was negated right before the first goal? I would go back and look at my DVR recording, but I'm not in a place where I'm ready to look at any of it.

The Wings gave up three goals on ugly 2-on-1s during this series. Just when they figured out their PK woes, that issue reared its ugly head. In the Stanley Cup Finals, no less. Honestly, for the first 40 minutes, it looked like they were playing a game in mid-November.

On a side note, did anyone else fully expect Crosby to not miss a single shift after his injury? I seriously thought he was just putting on a show to sell it to the refs, just like so many other times. I have to say, though, there was actually a moment when I respected him just a smidge when he came and sat on the bench with his team and even attempted to take a shift. That all evaporated when I realized that I'll be spending at least the next three seasons being inundated with marketing featuring his smug face with the Stanley Cup. On the other hand, maybe next year, the NHL marketing team will make an ad featuring a guy in a Lidstrom jersey cheering to all of the Wings highlights. Wait, who am I kidding?

It was also really nice of Homer to negate their first powerplay by taking a stupid penalty. I know the man puts up with a lot in front of the net (and was apparently playing hurt), but Game 7 of the SCF is no time to be screwing around.

After they went down 2-0, I sat back and relaxed. I'll admit that I lost the faith. Deep down, I knew it after the first goal, but after they were down by two, I started cutting my losses emotionally. I began to feel nauseous. I sniped at the players. I criticized their every move. I yelled frantic instructions as if they could actually hear me or would listen to me if they did hear. I predicted that they were going to get shut out in their own building in Game 7. The only thing keeping me from going absolutely crazy-nutso and dropping language like I was in a Quentin Tarantino film was the fact that I was watching with my little brother.

I knew that the Wings needed a goal by the end of the period if they were going to make a game of it. Datsyuk looked like he was trying to do everything himself. This spawned an instantly legendary quote from yours truly when I screamed, "Pavel, assists are yummy!" in an attempt to get him to pass the puck. When the Wings were still scoreless after two, I knew it was over. I just did. Maybe some will say that that makes me less of a fan, but hidden beneath my obsessive Wings fandom is a fairly rational mind. Also joining the ranks of legendary hockey quotes was my brother's response to my screaming, "How was that NOT a penalty?! How do you not call that?" He said, "He can't call those penalties. Gary Bettman has his children." So you pretty much know that that one's going to be tossed around for a long while.

When the third period started, I said that they needed to score within the first three minutes if they wanted to have a chance. I found myself wishing for that which I dread most: overtime. They got a couple of powerplay opportunities, but they didn't even look good. I'm not sure what that's about, but you had better believe that I'm going to drive myself to Hasek-like levels of insanity trying to figure it out over the summer.

Then, like in Game 6, the Wings scored. My brother and I shared an awkward moment where we actually hugged each other. We're still not sure what was going through our minds at that moment, but I suspect it wasn't much at all. It was just enough to give us hope, but it was too little, too late.

The last few minutes of the game nearly killed me, as evidenced by my tragic toe injury. There was actually a moment when I thought that maybe it would be the Wings' own little form of payback for Game 5 last year. I prefer not to speak of the post. Or that moment when Lidstrom swooped in on the loose puck sitting just to the right of MAF as time wound down. Those images will haunt my memory for the rest of my life, I assume in the same way that Pens fans are tormented by the picture of the puck sliding through Ozzie's crease as the last seconds ticked off of the clock in Game 6 last year.

Right now all I want to do is rip on the Wings. There are any number of points of criticism which I could detail right now, but what really hurts the most is that they once again failed to show up for the first half of a game. I realize that I should be jaded to this problem at this point in the season, given that it's been a major plot line since October, but I honestly expected better from my boys in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. When they finally release the full injury list, it had better be longer than Santa's if they want to use that as an excuse.

The Wings had the Pens down and out. They had 2-0 and 3-2 series leads, and each time, they failed to seal the deal. It came down to the simple fact that the Pens wanted it more. And that depresses me more than a loss following a stellar effort by the Wings ever would have. Going into the game, I had a terrible paranoia that the Cup would be decided by some fluky bounce that bounced off of three skates, the post and someone's pants or a bad call or a poorly-timed broken stick. I was wrong. It was decided by a team that came out and played its game in our building and left everything it had on the ice.

Am I proud of the boys? Maybe after a few days of reflection, I'll find some positive things to say. Objectively speaking, two consecutive trips to the SCF in the salary cap era is something most fans would be ecstatic about. I just can't shake the feeling that they let us down. When things were on the line, it just seemed like they couldn't be bothered to show up. Maybe it was partially due to injuries, maybe they ran out of gas, maybe it was just fate. But the bottom line is, the guys who rise above all of that and find a way to get the job done are the ones who get to spend the summer partying. If you can't get up for Game 7 of the Finals, then you don't deserve to win anyway.

I'll have more in the future. I'm going camping tomorrow, so I'll be offline for a while, which might not be the worst thing in the world. But I've got some stuff planned, and I'll be right here for the summer. Here's to a hell of a run. I needed this, even if it almost killed me. More importantly, here's to next season. May the Hockey Gods be with you.

Night of A Thousand Heart Attacks...

I know I said I was done until the game was, but it turns out that I just can't stay away.

2.5 hours until game time. How's your day been? So far, my biggest accomplishment has been forming coherent sentences. I lost count of my near-death heart stoppages once I hit triple digits at approximately noon.

There was a moment earlier in the day when I felt a tinge of jealousy for those "fans of the sport" who had no vested interest in the outcome of Game 7 and just wanted to see a good game. I thought how nice it would be to casually tune in and enjoy it with a blissful sense of detachment, sans life threatening blood pressure issues. Then I snapped out of it faster than a Nick Lidstrom slapper from the point. I realized that this is what I live for. This is how I get my kicks. It's like my own special version of the runner's high. So what if it's literally melting years off of my life expectancy as I type this very sentence? Without days like these, moments like running down Woodward in an early June rainstorm wearing my brand new Cup t-shirt, my hair still shedding confetti from the Joe, screaming at the top of my lungs last year would have no meaning. (It's also important to note that while I was doing this, I was stone-cold sober. I think it provides a better perspective on the effect that the Wings have on my emotional state.)

What really strikes me the most is the finality of it all. I've never been in a situation where I know that it's the absolute last game of the season. There have been games when I expected the season to be over, but it was never a sure thing. Even in the Game 7s I've lived through in the past, there was always wondering when the next round would start if the Wings won or clearing my schedule for the next game a couple of days down the road. I'm not sure I like finality. I'm one of those people who likes to keep my options open and make plans on the fly. This is an entirely new experience for me. May the Hockey Gods help us all.

Going into Game 7, there's very little that I know for sure. And I don't just mean related to hockey. I don't think I could even tell you my home address at this point. I am, however, 100% positive about these things:
-The Joe will be absolutely crazy-nutso tonight, if it isn't already. I wouldn't be surprised if banners start falling from the rafters before the opening faceoff, like some kind of red and white rain of triumph.
-At the end of the game I will be crying, regardless of the outcome. They'll either be tears of joy or sadness, plus a little relief from having survived the ordeal at all. I'm not the slightest bit ashamed to admit this.
-Careers will be defined tonight, one way or another. There are guys on both sides who stand to cement their legacies with a victory tonight, and some who may be made eternal goats if they fail to show up to play.
-My puppy is going to be cowering in a corner before the first intermission. If she can escape the headlock I'm going to have her in, that is.
-The neighbors (if they don't already) are going to question my sanity thanks to my tendency to scream at the top of my lungs. A lot. If they thought Game 7 against Anaheim was obnoxious, they have no idea what's in store for them now.
-These guys will decide which city gets to party: Henrik Zetterberg, Chris Osgood, Nick Lidstrom, Pavel Datsyuk, Marian Hossa, Johan Franzen, Darren Helm, Evegeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, Rob Scuderi, Marc-Andre Fleury, Paul Devorski, and Bill McCreary.

Yeah, I literally have nothing else to say. Somewhere, Dan Bylsma is finishing off his imported lucky burrito. I hope the man enjoys it, because it's been my experience that burritos are not meant to be reheated. I'm too nervous to eat dinner, so I'm going to go commence my traditional fetal position/nausea/bartering with the Hockey Gods routine until it's time for my pre-game Slurpee run. If I never post again, it's fairly safe to assume that the game killed me.

Friday June 12th, 2009...

The last 48 hours have been pretty rough. I'm not ashamed to admit that. But it's nothing compared to what tomorrow's going to be like. Got a barf bag? Better take it to work with you. Co-workers, customers, clients beware. This is not the day to mess with a Wings fan.

Road rage? Check. Irrational outbursts? Check. Random fits of sobbing? Check. Inability to control basic bodily functions? Check. Nothing is out of line tomorrow. People who don't understand may judge you. It doesn't matter. One way or another, barring a cruel, cruel torment by the Hockey Gods, it will all be over in less than 24 hours.

At this point, I really have nothing left to say. And that's the way it should be. It doesn't make a bit of difference what I want or what I do. This game's going to be decided out on the ice based on which team wants it more. It's already been demonstrated that both teams are capable of winning when they show up and play their game. All we can do is hope that the Wings are the ones who bring it at 8pm. Not 8:30 or 8:45. They need to be firing on all cylinders right from the opening faceoff. There simply is no other option. There's no tomorrow. Nothing to save their energy for. It's do or die or ten million other sports cliches and it's in their hands now.

I know a lot of people hate the Wings. On some level, I even understand it. It's for the same reasons that everyone seems to hate the Yankees. But everyone outside of Pittsburgh should be rooting for the Wings to win. Why, you ask? Because if the Wings fail, every single hockey fan is going to have to endure at least 3 seasons of being inundated with commercials showing Sidney Crosby hoisting the Cup. Remember how much you hated that stupid commercial with the Pens fan and the penalty box TV? It would be 1000 times worse. Every single time you sat down to watch a hockey game. There's no way you could escape it. It's been fairly well demonstrated that if the Wings win, you won't be forced to relive their victory five thousand times over the course of the next few years. It's something to think about, even if it makes me gag a little bit.

Over the last couple of days, I've been having periodic moments of terror in which I envision the Penguins winning. There are many reasons for this. Chief among them is the fact that weird things happen in Game 7s. The thought of the Stanley Cup being decided by a point shot that deflects off of three skates and someone's pants or one bad call or a turnover or a broken stick scares the living daylights out of me. It's part of what makes hockey such a compelling sport to watch, but it's no fun at all if you have a vested interest in one of the teams involved. And I haven't even mentioned Malkin yet. I don't care that he hasn't been putting up points the last couple of games. Every time the man touches the puck, I start to cry. There's also the Wings inexplicable failures on both sides of the special teams equation. I'd go more in depth on that aspect, but there's really nothing left to say, and I'm pretty sure you'd have to be as loony as Dominik Hasek to make sense of it anyway.

And then, occasionally, I have moments in which I envision a Wings victory and all of the glorious fun that would accompany it. I push those images out of my mind as quickly than Darren Helm chasing down a loose puck, lest I somehow offend the Hockey Gods with my presumptuousness. There are many reasons to feel confident, but let's face it, I've woken up with a bad feeling and sense of paranoia every single game day since April (Man, that seems like a long time ago.). The Joe's been good to the Wings during this postseason. Also, it helps that the game's not being played on Tuesday. (They've had 5 Tuesday night games that conflicted with my softball team's games, and they're 1-4, with the only victory coming on the day I didn't play because I was at the Joe.) Then there is Chris Osgood. And Henrik Zetterberg. And Nicklas Lidstrom. And Pavel Datsyuk. So there's reason to believe. I just refuse to allow myself to get my hopes up, because that inevitably leads to crushing despair.

Other random thoughts:
-I refuse to read the Freep tomorrow on account of being terrified of what Drew Sharp might have to say.
-Now that most people think the Pens have the edge, maybe the Wings will play well. They seem to do their best when everyone counts them out. (See Games 1, 2, and 5.)
-Mike Babcock continues to be a press conference all-star.
-There are a couple of good interviews here. Although the part in the Babcock one where the interviewer points out that the Wings have lost 3 out of the last 4 games almost made me vomit. So be prepared for that.
-It will be a miracle if I survive tomorrow.

And finally, since it seemed to work before Game 5, a cut and paste from my pre-game post:

Hockey Gods, if you're listening, just about anything is up for grabs. My car, my Scotty Bowman bobblehead, my soul, my rally rag/security blanket from last year. My Steve Yzerman jersey stays with me, but you're free to claim dibs on my firstborn child, if you're interested.

Heck, now that it's Game 7, I'll throw in the jersey plus Nick Lidstrom's used beer bottle. That's everything I have to give. It's actually kind of sad to consider the fact that most of my prized possessions are related to the Wings. I feel like this would be less weird if I were male, but it is what it is, and I can't help who I am.

Nothing pre-game tomorrow, unless something major comes up. I'll see you on the flip side. One way or another, I'll probably be crying. Joy or despair? Only the Hockey Gods know for sure.

Nothing Good...

So it turns out that only mustering three shots on goal in the first period is not a good way to win the Stanley Cup. Who knew? Also, there's apparently something about Mellon Arena that's like Red Wing kryptonite. It looks like Drew Sharp got his wish

I'm back in that valley of despair that inevitably follows any playoff loss. This one just seems worse than usual. It's worse than Game 5 last year, worse than Game 6 of the Anaheim series, worse than when our hamster died. This is just my way of saying that this is going to be another post filled with excessively angry attacks on my boys. Also, I'm never, ever going back to the Hockeytown Cafe for a Finals game again. The Wings are 0-3 when I'm in attendance during the Finals, and I want no part of it.

The afternoon started out fairly well. We visited the Spirit of Detroit statue and met this guy:

We're pretty sure that wasn't water in his bottle there, but I liked his spirit. And he made us laugh. We were pretty sad when he skateboarded away down Jefferson leaving us alone with a homeless dude who wanted us to take his picture. Then we headed over to Hockeytown and almost didn't get in. They closed for capacity at 7. The evening was pretty much all downhill from that point. We should've taken it as an omen and headed over to Cheli's.

The Stanley Cup was in the building tonight. It was within their reach. And they didn't show up to take it. It was entirely up to them to decide whether they wanted it or not, but apparently they hadn't made up their minds yet.

The first few minutes seemed alright. There were good chances both ways, and neither team seemed to have momentum. Then Zetterberg got called for goalie interference. While the call wasn't as obnoxiously bad as the one against Hudler in Game 7 of the Anaheim series, it was clearly a joke. Although I have to say that the part where Z was literally swinging from the crossbar was fairly amusing.

The rest of the first period was not worth mentioning. I didn't see the play that resulted in Pittsburgh's powerplay, thanks to NBC not bothering to replay the incident, so I don't really have much insight on it. When the Wings killed it off, I started wondering if maybe it was another statement, like the kill at the beginning of Game 5. However, the Wings finished the first having been outshot 12-3. While that stat hides a few good chances that the Wings just sent wide or had blocked, it's still pathetic. They were extremely lucky to survive the first period tied at zero. You can only live dangerously like that for so long until it comes back to bite you.

It seems like whenever the Wings get the media behind them, where everyone's praising them and saying that their victory is inevitable, they play like crap. Maybe we should be glad that the media outside of Detroit seem to anticipate failure at every turn.

It was during a commercial break near the end of the first that I looked around at the crowd in the City Theater and realized that it felt a little bit like a support group. Like AA for Wings fans or something. It didn't do me a whole lot of good, but it felt nice.

After the Pens scored at the beginning of the second, I started mentally preparing myself for Game 7. I knew that things were far from over, but the Wings just didn't look good. They showed a little bit more spark in the second, but it wasn't enough. There were a few pretty obvious interference calls that could/should have been made against the Pens. Even the NBC guys were pointing them out, so you know they were flagrant. When the national guys are going against Crosby and his annointed buddies, it's pretty safe to assume that the refs are screwing things up. Considering how much success the powerplay had during Game 5, it would've been nice to have seen it get a chance to go to work before the third period.

The Wings looked pretty good at the start of the third, but it was too little too late. Giving up the second goal was a backbreaker. I had pretty much resigned myself to three days of agony at that point. Then Kris Draper scored and gave me hope. I have to say that the Hockeytown crowd was incredible from this point on. The City Theater went nuts, and the chants started right back up. The powerplays were insane. (Is it bad that I really, really wanted Drapes to be bleeding when he got high-sticked? The rational side of me says that there's something very wrong with hoping for a man who you adore to stand up with his face looking like a red fountain, but I was seriously calling on the Hockey Gods to cause his face to start gushing.) Everyone in the theater stood for the last two minutes of the game. I don't care that the Joe didn't sell out during the regular season. The crowds and fans during the playoffs have been fantastic.

During the first half of the game, the turnovers and lack of intensity that have plagued the Wings since October came back to bite them. I thought they had worked that out of their system after Game 5, but it turns out that I was sadly mistaken. They threw everything they had at the Pens during the third period, but it just wasn't enough to overcome the hole they had dug for themselves.

Datsyuk, Helm, and Zetterberg played like crazy men again. Zetterberg, in particular, was brilliant on that play where his stick broke and he smacked the puck out of the zone as he dove to the ice. It was a relatively minor play and could easily go unnoticed, but it's just another example of how hard the man's working to win the Stanley Cup. It looked like something right out of the Steve Yzerman playbook. It might sound trite, but I just don't see Sidney Crosby making that play. And everyone knows that but for Ozzie, this score wouldn't have been close. On the Pens' side, Rob Scuderi just earned his place on the list of hockey players who make me shudder. I was surrounded by 300 people jumping up and down and screaming the the last minute of the third. I was pretty sure that the floor was going to collapse, and it all would've been his fault.

The most frustrating part of the first half of the game was that I could see the Wings doing the exact same things they had been doing during Games 3 and 4. They were making pretty passes, but only taking perimeter shots. They were "one and done" as Mike Babcock likes to say, whereas Pittsburgh was consistently able to establish control in the zone and get several chances. The Wings weren't driving to the net until the third period. It's been proven over and over again: if you get traffic in front of MAF, you will have success. Plain and simple. Eventually, you're going to get a juicy rebound that even a toddler could smack into the net.

Also, during the second intermission, the NBC guy who was doing the "you be the coach" thing was way intense. It was like he was yelling at us through the screen. We felt like we should go sit in a corner after his little rant.

Now it's down to one game to decide who gets the Stanley Cup. It's winner-take-all, and I don't like it one bit. Over the next couple of days, I'm going to age approximately 37 years. I normally would have more to say, but everyone knows what Game 7 means. Also, I'm not in a very happy place right now, and I'm going to try to sleep tonight without having nightmares of Sidney Crosby hoisting the Cup.