Thoughts on the Realignment...

Now that I've finally had a chance to look at the realignment plans, I'm developing a deep sense of confusion. I actually feel like the NHL might've done something right. That doesn't happen very often, so it's going to take me a while to get used to that fact. It's not exactly what I would've drawn up in a perfect world, but it's a heck of a lot better than the current system. At least for the Wings and Columbus. It doesn't seem like it affects other teams nearly as much.

(Sidenote: All of these news articles are describing the decision as “radical.” Is it really that radical? The new Conferences don't deviate a whole lot from the way things are now.)

I think the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the Florida teams are grouped together with the northern teams in the East. It just doesn't make sense to me, and things like that tend to annoy me forever. Also, through my Wings-fan goggles, it seems an awful lot like pandering to teams like Pittsburgh, Philly, and Washington. On that note, funny how the coddled little Eastern teams ended up in the smaller divisions, eh?

I'm also not super excited about having to see the same old boring Central Division teams over and over again, but that has a lot to do with the current quality of competition. A couple of years down the road, those teams could change a lot and make life interesting. Well, maybe not Columbus, but you get the idea.

Mostly though, I like the fact that the Wings' travel is going to be cut down significantly. This makes the biggest difference in the playoffs. I've said for years that there would be at least two extra Stanley Cup banners hanging in the rafters from the last decade if the Wings had been in the Eastern Conference. Think about how much easier all of those long playoff runs would've been if they hadn't included multiple trips to the west coast. I've always secretly enjoyed the west coast roadtrips because I like staying up for the late games, but I recognize that I'm kind of strange in that sense.

I think my favorite part of the plan is the potential reseeding after the second round of the playoffs. It opens up a whole array of Finals match-ups that could never happen in the current format. Imagine if the Wings had been able to face the Avs in the Stanley Cup Finals during the rivalry years when they were the league's two best teams by a mile. Imagine the possibility of a “Subway Series” with the Rangers and Islanders matched up in the Finals. (That one was a joke, ok?) The league's top two teams should have the ability to play for the Cup in the Finals, even if they both happen to be from the same Conference.

Red Wings 2, Flyers 3: Post Game Snipes...

• Another year, another “Oh look, the Wings showed up to play one period of hockey” recap.
• Someone yelled at Filppula on the twitters shortly before he scored his goal. I can't remember who it was, but it was excellent work.
• You know who's playing good hockey right now? Henrik Zetterberg. Not that that's unusual, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
• Raise your hand if you were shocked to see Ozzie out there at the start of the third. I was.
• Somewhere partway through that game in Colorado, the Old Man found his mojo and has looked good ever since.
• Ozzie was able to completely relearn his goaltending technique a few years ago, but he seems unable to figure out the trapezoid rule. In his defense, it's a really stupid rule, but it's not like it's new anymore
• The 5-on-3 powerplay the Wings had in the first period was one of the worst 5-on-3s I've ever seen. They barely even got the puck over Philly's blue line.
• Mule couldn't have bought a goal tonight with his entire season's salary.
• I didn't see exactly what happened to Brad Stuart when he went down. At first, I thought he took the puck in the face. While getting nailed in the back of the head isn't great, it's probably better than the face. They never showed a replay at the Joe, so I was left diving for my phone to check my always-reliable Twitter feed to find out what happened.
• Because we bought tickets so late, our seats weren't together, so we “upgraded” during the first intermission. We befriended some Flyers fans who had evidently staked out the same row of seats. Even though they were rooting for the wrong team, they were nice and knew hockey. It was more than I could say for the two obnoxious Wings fans near us who we were secretly hoping would fall down the stairs.

Hero: Henrik Zetterberg
He's been great over the last few games as he took on a much bigger load with Datsyuk's absence. I hope he keeps his roll going and that his wonky back holds up.

Villain: Daniel Carcillo
For scoring a goal and being Daniel Carcillo.

Final Thought:
I miss Pavel Datsyuk...the most.

Red Wings vs. Flyers GP...

Red Wings: 24-9-5

Flyers: 23-10-5

Red Wing Zen:

Nick Lidstrom

11-25-36, +/- 1, 8 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Nikolay Zherdev

13-2-15, +/- 4, 16 PIM

Weekly Wrap-Up Volume Eight...

Caption Mondays: Dan in Wyo tapped into Larry Murphy's favorite night of the year for this week's answer.

*sad face* I want a dollar hot dog...

Trivia Tuesdays: Clark got the answer again this week, although he was one win off on the home victories record. He's really giving Andy a run for his money.

This week's question: Everyone knows that the Wings hold the record for number of victories in a single season with 62 in 1995-96. However, they also hold the single-season records for home victories and road victories. Those two records were set in different years. How many home victories did they have in their record-setting year, and what year was it? How many road victories did they have the year they set that record, and what year was it?

The Answer: The Wings are tied with the Flyers for the record for most home victories in a season. Each team had 36 home wins. The Flyers accomplished this in the 1975-76 season, and the Wings in the 1995-96 season. Ten years later, Detroit set the road victories record with 31 in the 2005-06 season.

Red Wings 4, Blue Jackets 3: Post Game Snipes...

• I missed the first 50 minutes or so of the game, so I don’t have much to say tonight. I promise that it was worth it though. My reason for missing the game involved swapping Disney war stories and feasting on this. Yes, I’m bragging, but that’s the second coolest thing I’ve ever made in my life and I think I earned it (It’s pretty obvious that I’m no Baroque). I was supposed to be home in time for the game to start, but I just couldn’t bear to leave my Disney people. They’re really some of the most fun human beings I’ve had the chance to hang out with.
• I walked in the door and frantically searched for the second TV remote. I finally got the stupid built-in menu off of the screen just in time to see the Wings tie the game up. I briefly celebrated and then ran back out to my car to bring something in. As soon as I walked into my room, the Wings scored again. Then I made another trip out to the car and the Wings scored again. When I was making my final trip out to the car, I was semi-anxiously anticipating another Wings goal when I ran back inside. However, this time around, it led to a Columbus goal. I hadn’t realized that my newfound power worked both ways. You’ll be happy to know that I stayed put for the rest of the game.
• I really like Patrick Eaves.
• Did Nick Lidstrom really make that play leading to one of the BJs’ goals? I think he was so stunned at making the ugly turnover that he got caught flat-footed and beaten. That’s clearly the only explanation.
  

GP Answers:
1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
Well, they picked up two tonight. The dream is alive and well for now. Not that it’s the ultimate goal, but it would be nice to get there.

2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
It’s hard to tell. I really didn’t see much tonight.

3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
Looking at the box score, it doesn’t look like anyone had their ice time dramatically cut. The fourth line looks like it picked up a few extra minutes, but overall it didn’t look like guys were getting rested.

4. The efforts against Nashville and Philadelphia weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?
Again, I didn’t see most of the game. This is starting to become a trend, and I don’t like it. I need my hockey.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Tomas Holmstrom
I also love Homer. That is all.

Nick Lidstrom gets the Golden Facepalm
I can’t believe I just typed that. Really. I justified it by reminding myself that if anyone else on the team made that play they’d be a shoo-in for this.

What I Learned:
Apparently I have magical powers that cause goals to be scored by the mere act of walking in and out of my back door.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
4. The efforts against Nashville and Philadelphia weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?

Hey We Made It...

I still haven’t actually seen most of the Flyers game. It’s stored on my DVR, but I haven’t quite gotten around to actually sitting down and watching it. That explains the lack of a recap. I really just prefer to pretend like it didn’t happen. The part that I did catch led to a heated Easter-dinner-buffet-line conversation with my brother about the difference between being a bunch of worthless goons and playing tough hockey. He actually dared to defend Chris Pronger. I was aghast.

Anyway, the real event on Sunday was the fact that the Wings managed to clinch their 19th straight playoff berth thanks to Calgary losing. I was out in the backyard playing with my little cousins when I got the score update on my phone and everyone was pretty confused when I broke out into a happy dance right in the middle of the chaos. I did, however, find it ironic that a couple of weeks ago we were making fun of Washington for clinching the conference by losing and waiting for another team to do their dirty work for them. The Wings are home free now and I could not care less about seeding and first round matchups. There are definitely teams that worry me out there, but truth be told, all of the teams worry me. I never think about teams I want the Wings to face because I live in fear of some sort of be-careful-what-you-wish-for comeuppance.

The bottom line is that we made it. The Wings are in the playoffs, and, to the best of my knowledge, all of the 19 survived. And just a note of warning to friends, family, co-workers, and roommates: if you thought I’ve been obnoxious and insane for the last six months, just wait until the puck drops on the first round.

Red Wings vs. Flyers GP...

1. Ozzie’s getting the start today. I’m going to avoid making any really bad jokes about laying an egg on Easter and skip straight to the part where I say that I have absolutely no idea what to expect from the guy after he’s gone so long without starting. Is he going to be able to shake off the rust and look halfway decent?
2. This is the Wings’ last game against the East. Can they continue to prove that the Leastern Conference is a joke?
3. Today’s the day the Wings can hit the magic number to guarantee themselves a playoff spot. Are we heading to the promised land? I know I should be over this by now, but it makes me barf a little that we’re talking about things like this this late in the season.
4. We get to see our old friend Ville Leino today. Will we be treated to the version of Ville that we all dreamed about over the summer or the one who ended up benched even though half of the team was out with injury? I’m guessing the former, just because that’s the way this season has gone.

I would be shocked if I get to see any of this game. I blame NBC for picking up the game. Between noon mass and heading to relatives’ house, this looks like one for the old DVR. Grrrrr…

Hockey-Related Notes from Vacation...

This is a little belated, but I've been kind of tied up since I got back from Florida. Anyway, here goes:

• Whenever I travel I like to take an informal (and completely unscientific) poll regarding which sports teams have the most fans wearing their gear. Disney World is an excellent venue for this type of analysis because you get to meet literally thousands of people. Some of them even come to Florida completely unprepared for the impending cold snap with only one jacket in their possession, and as a result are wearing the exact same Red Wings fleece in 90% of their vacation pictures. (Not that that happened to me or anything.) As disappointing as it is, I have to call Ohio State and the Pittsburgh Steelers the winners by a long shot. I even came across a whole family of Buckeye fans sharing a horse-drawn carriage ride around the campground while we were waiting for the Hoop Dee Doo to start. I was actually surprised that Disney let people wearing those kinds of outfits on their property. They used to have standards for attire. (One of my fellow interns almost got turned away at the gate one day because he was wearing his Gamecocks shirt. But they have no problem letting the Buckeyes roam their property freely. I’ll never understand it.) Anyway, I was pretty disappointed with the representation for the various Michigan-based teams.
• I did have one guy in a Wings hat ask me where I got such a beautiful jacket (not the one referred to in the story about ill-prepared vacationers. I swear.). It was a nice little moment of camaraderie. High five, random guy.
• On my last morning, I headed out to the park in my Wings fleece (Okay, I admit it. It was me in that anecdote above.) and Wings visor (because apparently I can’t travel without looking like a banner for the state of Michigan) and I got booed by a guy in a Blue Jackets jersey. I’m not kidding. He actually booed me. I just stared at him with my best “Seriously?” face. That’s hard to picture unless you know me, but it’s a good one. I promise.
• One morning at the hotel, I saw a guy in a Lindros Flyers jersey in line for the pop machine (I was on vacation. I reserve the right to drink pop for breakfast. I usually get breakfast Slurpees when I’m down there, but they don’t have them at All Star Sports…and yes, I did make an effort to book the other hotel I like to stay at just for their Slurpee machine.) and I asked him if he was excited for the Winter Classic. He had no idea what I was talking about. Seriously.
• All Star Sports has a giant wall of sports pictures in the lobby. They’re gloriously sun-faded (Memo to Disney: Bad. Show. I couldn’t even wear a hair tie on my wrist when I worked there…) and I promise you they haven’t been updated since the hotel opened in the ‘90s. Anyway, there are a handful of hockey pictures among the assortment. I can almost promise you that whoever picked them out was a Wings fan. How can I tell? Stevie Y is in three of the seven hockey pictures. I even took pictures to capture them in all of their sun-faded glory. There’s one of him winning a faceoff against Steve Rucchin, one of him being hooked by Joe Sakic, and another of him just standing there and being awesome. Jaromir Jagr and Marty Brodeur also made the cut, along with Martin Straka and a couple of guys whose names I can’t make out in their photo captions and I’m reasonably certain that I don’t care about anyway. The recognition of the greatness that is Steve Yzerman makes me feel a little bit better about having sold my soul to the Mouse a few years back.
• My hockey-watching knowledge came in handy when we stopped in Nashville on the way down. I was told that my flight would be taking off at 8:30 and had a brief moment of panic when I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:45. Fortunately, I remembered that Nashville games always start at 8 or 8:30, which reminded me that they’re on Central time there. See, all this time I spend obsessing over hockey comes in handy once in a while.
• One of the first things I did during my visit was head over to the Cast Surplus store. It’s where Disney sells over-stocked items at steep discounts to Cast Members. While there, I managed to snag 5 Wings Cup Champions shirts from ’08 for 90 cents each. One for each of my parents, two brothers, and me. I’m pretty sure it was the greatest shopping moment of my life.
• My only source of score updates came from frequently texting Google. I was feeling pretty good about the Wings’ victory over the Lightning until I had the brilliant idea to call home and request that the box score be read to me. It was at that point that I was informed (rather reluctantly) that Zetterberg had been injured. Thanks for ruining my vacation, Ohlund.
• There’s a new show at MGM that’s modeled after American Idol. The guy who won the show that I saw looked exactly like Jonathan Ericsson. It was uncanny. He even claimed to be the same height. I’m no longer convinced that his knee is actually hurt. I think he might secretly be pursuing a music career by auditioning for Idol in Disney World.
• The Canadian pavilion at Epcot sells jerseys from the Canadiens, Leafs, Oilers, and Flames. It turns out that even the Canadians don’t care about the Canucks or the Sens. Also, all of the pavilions in World Showcase sell local foods and specialties. America’s pavilion sells funnel cakes. God bless the USA.
• During one bus ride back to Sports, “I Wanna Drive the Zamboni” came on the overhead speakers. I was apparently the only one there who knew the lyrics. And, yes, I sang them. I may have also danced in my seat a little.

And finally, Little Sister requested a Wings jersey for Christmas this year. She was willing to accept any of the members of the Flying Circus line. I was quite proud. I’ve clearly taught her well. It’s pretty cheap with screen-printed numbers (and the small ones are up on the shoulders instead of the sleeves for some reason), but she was pretty excited about it.

Yeah, that's me in the Yzerman jersey. My sister's 12. I've still got her by 1 inch, even though I look shorter in this picture. I'm apparently the world's shortest person. Also, how awesome are my pants?

So Long, Mac...

So Darren McCarty officially announced his retirement today (which was odd because I had been under the impression that it already was official, but that’s not really the point). Somehow, back when he announced it the first time, the news somehow got lost in the shuffle here at SSDD. But Mac deserves better than that. I always loved him, even in his bizarre goatee, weird colored hair, and Grinder days. He was one of those guys who you just loved to love because he always seemed like he was having a great time out there. It felt like every time he stepped out on the ice was the best moment of his life.

I was absolutely thrilled when he returned to Detroit for a shot at redemption. Remember in ’08 when he scored that goal in the first round against Nashville? Just try to convince me that you didn’t want to reach through your TV and give the man a hug. I could watch that goal celebration over and over again. Maybe it was just me, but that goal carried with it more than your usual excitement over a Wings’ playoff tally. I was proud. Really proud. It’s one of those little moments that hockey gives you that makes you keep coming back night after night no matter how rough things are. (And maybe, just maybe, someone out there who’s through some of the same things McCarty went through might find that goal meaningful.)

But that wasn’t even his most memorable goal. Oh no. He gave us this little beauty that went down as the game winner for the ’97 Cup.



Yeah that one. The one that we still can’t believe he scored twelve years later. Even Steve Yzerman didn’t believe that he scored that goal (“We were celebrating and the first guy I see is Stevie Yzerman in the pile. His eyes were as big as saucers and he said ‘What the [expletive] was that? I had no idea.” --For the record, that's exactly what was going through my mind at that moment, except I was a kid and didn't use words like that.). But really, what Mac will go down in Red Wings lore for is this:



I’m pretty sure I’ve already written about 37,856 words about that one moment in hockey history, so I won’t bore you with that. However, if you don’t watch that video at least 3 times a day, I’m afraid that I can’t consider you to be a real Wings fan.

This comment (yeah, I know, it’s from an Avs fan) from that Adrian Dater post does a pretty good job summing up one of the things that endeared McCarty to fans so much over the years:

I have love for Darren McCarty. On March 23, 2002, the Avs played the hated Red Wings at the Pepsi Center... this was the game where Hasek tried to fight Roy, but ended up stepping on a stick as he skated in and ended up on his keester. Anyways, I went to this game. My dad took me for my 14th birthday, got some great seats in the lower bowl. We made sure to show up early (we got out to one or two Avs games a season only because tickets were spendy and hard to come by). We were seated on the Red Wings side for warm ups, and I walked down to the glass and stared in awe as guys like Lidstrom, Yzerman, Shanny, and so on made it look so easy before the game.

OK, so here's my real story: at one point, McCarty skated by the boards and pointed at me (having that guy point at you as a chubby, awkward 14 year old certainly gets your attention). On his next go round the ice, he skated up with a puck, flicked it up and bounced it off the top of the glass back onto the ice. Next time he came back, except this time picked up a puck and threw it as he skated by -- except this time it sailed to far and ended up in the hands of a guy 4 rows behind me. Finally, one last time he skated around, picked up a puck, stopped at the glass, pointed at me and tossed a puck over the boards into my hands.

That was awesome. He had no reason to go out of his way and insure I got a puck, but he did. I was even wearing an Avalanche black practice jersey, but it didn't matter; he still saw the look on my face and made sure I got a puck. I still keep that puck on my desk up here at school in Washington. For that, I will always have some love for Darren. I had always seen him as an enemy goon, but there was nothing goonish about the way he made my day. The Avs lost, but the real memory of the day came from before the game thanks to a "hated rival".

I wish him the best.

I’m not usually one who’s inclined to agree with things said by people who support the Avalanche, but that was kind of classic Darren McCarty so I'll make an exception this one time. He's always been one of my favorites. I really do hope that the whole Versus thing works out. Maybe he’ll teach them how to run a hockey broadcast.

First Taste of the Pre-Season...

The Wings opened the pre-season tonight with a 3-1 win over the Flyers. It wasn't televised, and 97.1 wasn't broadcasting it online, so I ended up listening to the Philly radio broadcast instead. It wasn't quite like watching it on TV, but it was glorious to hear some real, live Wings hockey being broadcast.

Based on the play-by-play, it seemed like Ericsson, Draper, Abdelkader, Datsyuk, Kindl, and Delmore were the only Wings on the ice. I can't remember hearing anyone else's name called. It's also possible that they're the only players that the anouncers knew. It's a workable theory. They had a nice chuckle when Larsson took over in net because they didn't know who he was.

They also laid into Delmore quite a bit. At one point, one of them said, "Boy, Andy Delmore is doing everything he can to make sure the Flyers get on the scoresheet again. I played with this guy for a year, no wonder I'm not in the league anymore." Ouch. From what I heard though, it sounded like Delmore was making turnovers like there was no tomorrow.

Other random notes:

• Draper sounded like he had a good game. He scored the tying goal in the second period and seemed to have some good shifts.
• There was a fight. Listening to it on the radio was really lame. I could tell that the crowd loved it, though.
  
• The Flyers announcers seemed astounded at the number of penalties their team took. I'm not really sure why this was surprising to them because a) they were the most penalized team in the league last year, and b) they acquired Chris Pronger over the summer. Get used to it, gents. It's bound to be a recurring theme.
• The Wings' powerplay did not have a spectacular night.
• On the other hand, they managed to not allow any goals on the penalty kill, so that's a start.
• I could tell when PYG touched the puck without the announcers even saying it because the crowd booed him every time. It's comforting to know that even though he's tucked away in the Eastern Conference now, fans can still bring the hate.

Hockey's back, sunshines, and I couldn't be happier! I'm pretty sure that everyone around me thinks I'm crazy for getting this excited about a meaningless pre-season game, but I'm okay with their judgments.

Preseason Scheduling and More of Jiri's Saga...

The Wings announced their exhibition schedule yesterday. This is exciting if for no other reason than that it gives us hockey fans a “light at the end of the tunnel” that we can look forward to. The real schedule is supposed to drop on the 15th or 16th, which is nice because it will give my friends and family plenty of advance notice for the 82 dates/times between October and April during which they should not attempt to contact me.

The Wings begin the preseason on September 16th when fan-favorite Chris Pronger and his elbows the Flyers come to the Joe. The Wings will also face the Rangers, the Sabres, the Leafs, and the Penguins before heading over to Sweden and playing Farjestads. Then they’ll kick off the real season with back-to-back games in Stockholm, which should be fantastically fun to watch.

The saga of Jiri Hudler continued today as the NHL filed some sort of complaint with the IIHF because they consider Hudler to be under contract with the Wings. Apparently filing for arbitration was an indication of his intent to play in the NHL next year. I find this all very ironic because it seems like not too long ago the KHL was complaining about NHL teams poaching players. My problem is that even if the IIHF were to rule in the NHL’s favor, would the Wings even want a disgruntled Hudler who felt like he got screwed by being forced to play for half of the money? I’m not sure I would.

The Examiner had a pretty good analysis of how the Wings can adjust for losing Hudler. I actually kind of like the idea of using Meech as a full-time forward. Especially if Lilja is able to play. The Wings don’t really need Meech back on the blue line, and he did a decent job at forward when he played there last season. I also like the fact that it would leave them with a little bit of cap room to play with at the trade deadline. If nothing else, it would give Kenny Holland a little while to adequately assess what the team needs instead of tying his hands now.

None of the options presented in the article are particularly spectacular, but thanks to the ever-lovely salary cap, there aren't a whole lot of options out there. All I can do is sit back and put on my "In Ken We Trust" t-shirt and know that he'll figure something out. (OK, I don't actually have a shirt like that, but you have to admit that it'd be pretty awesome if I did.)

Odds and Ends...

I have a couple of odds and ends that I haven’t had a chance to mention yet, so here they are presented in glorious bullet form:

--The Philadelphia Flyers just gave Chris Pronger a seven-year contract. I literally laughed out loud when I read this news. Especially in light of that whole “35 and up” thing in the CBA. It’s almost depressing to see all of these other teams throwing dollars around foolishly while the always-brilliant Kenny Holland is handcuffed by the salary cap and can’t even make a mediocre deal.
--The Handshake Incident really won’t go away. I have a sneaky suspicion that my grandchildren are going to be hearing about this. First there was an interview with Kris Draper posted on Snapshots that dealt with it, and now it popped up again today over at THN. Seriously. Move on people. There’s plenty of stuff going on in the world of hockey that we don’t need to keep talking about this. And if there isn’t anything the hockey world that can hold your interest, there are plenty of other things going on in the real world that could occupy your time.
--There was a really nice article about Vladdie posted on the Wings website. I had never heard the story of how he defected from Russia before. It blows my mind to think of the risk that he and other Russians (like Sergei Fedorov and Alexander Mogilny) took to come here to play. Also, all these years later, it still brings a tear to my eye to see Vladdie. I only really got to see him play for a couple of years, but I still remember sitting on the couch in my family room watching news coverage of the crash as a 10-year-old.
--I stumbled across these icons (or avatars) in an NHL icons community on LiveJournal (don’t judge me). They’re pretty awesome even though only one is really related to the Wings. Please do check out both links, as anyone familiar with the NHL should get a chuckle or two out of them.
--I walked into a hardware store in Ann Arbor the other day, and the owner had hung a copy of the Kronwalled poster behind the counter. It made me smile.
--One of my professors announced that she’s from Pittsburgh and went on to talk about how it’s the City of Champions and the Penguins won. This was just another in a long string of FML moments that I’ve been enduring lately.

Good Riddance and Other Inanity...

In my attempt to sound all smart and savvy about the draft, I neglected to mention perhaps my favorite news of the weekend. It seems that Chris Pronger.You.Goon is no longer a member of the Anaheim Ducks. It's about time that waste of brain cells went to the Eastern Conference. He and his elbows have been a plague on the West for far too long. (Something I've always wondered: When he flies, do they make him pay an extra carry-on fee for his elbows?) I'd be lying if I said I didn't do a little happy dance when I heard the news. Granted, his legacy will still live on with the Ducks, as he's evidently rubbed off on his captain and GM (among others), but having him in the East means at least five fewer games every season which I'll have to spend screaming things like, "Look out, Pav!" and, "Nooooo, not Z!" It's to the point that I find myself ducking as I sat on my couch as though somehow one of his elbows could fly through my TV screen and nail me in the head. (Sorry, but I just had an incredibly traumatizing image of PYG crawling out of my TV like the girl from The Ring and I'm not sure that I can ever get that mental picture out of my head.) Much to my surprise, it turns out that there are people out there who actually like PYG. According to the writer, Proger's just a nice guy who's universally misunderstood. This quote literally made me laugh out loud:

At first blush, he can definitely come across as arrogant and prickly, but upon getting to know him, Pronger is unmasked as an extremely intelligent, articulate, candid and fun person to be around.

Seriously? For real? How am I supposed to take this "journalist" seriously when he writes things like that. It turns out that Mischa Barton really was the brains of the OC. I'm also quite fond of this little quote:

Despite having suffered a separated right shoulder, missing a portion of the game and needing multiple injections to get back into the clinching 6-2 victory over the Ottawa Senators, Pronger repeatedly raised the Cup for Ducks staff, family members and who knows who else to drink from during the boisterous locker-room celebration.

So I'm supposed to believe that PYG's a really nice guy based on the fact that he got drunk and hoisted the Cup for his friends and family after his team won? I'd venture a guess to say that *even if* he was a complete and utter douchebag, he probably would've done the same thing. It's just a hypothetical, though.

And then there's this picture. If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does. This made me laugh even harder than the news article did. It's about time the forwards in the East found themselves in his elbow targeting radar.



Also of note is the fact that the Wings won't be bringing back Ty Conklin next year. Instead we'll be left with Jimmy Howard as Ozzie's backup. Hockey Gods forbid Ozzie goes down with an injury. I've never quite understood the organization's attachment to Howard, but I guess we'll wait and see what happens. Of all of the summers since the lockout, this is the one in which the salary cap has frustrated me the most. Anyway, 10 bucks says Conks ends up signing with Boston or Philly just so he can play in the Winter Classic.