The Lockout...

You know, I've been pretty zen about this whole lockout thing all summer.  I figured that there's not anything I can do to prevent it from happening, so I didn't bother wasting my time worrying about it.  Sure, I've followed along with the news, but I've been more or less pulling back from hockey in general since the major free agency deals went down.  I looked at this as sort of an inevitability that was looming in the distance that I was just going to have to cope with.  I didn't have any anxiety leading up to today, but I also didn't have any hope.  I just kind of ignored everything.

But then midnight came.  The thing that hit me as I watched the clock was that sense of inevitability that had accompanied this lockout from the beginning.  I knew it was going to happen.  Everyone did.  Not once at any point during the negotiations this past month did I feel like there was a chance of an agreement.  There was never any hope for a reasonable settlement.  And I got angry.  More angry than I ever was in '04-'05, which is surprising because I've mellowed out a lot in the last few years.   During that lockout, I coped by watching an array of hockey movies and my Wings DVDs as I anxiously anticipated the return of the game I loved.  I eagerly read every article about the negotiations hoping against hope that there would be good news.  I was devastated when the season was officially cancelled, even though I knew it was going to happen.  I still slept in my giant Wings t-shirt and wore my various shirts and hats around campus.  But not this time.

This time, I stormed out to my garage and found the first empty giant tub that I could get my hands on.  (This is quite impressive because it required scaling a mountain of boxes and a couple of bags of hockey equipment.)  I went up to my room and cleared out every piece of Red Wings apparel that I could find.  Every Wings t-shirt, pair of PJ pants, sweatshirt, hat, scarf, jacket, and even (to my mom's great offense) the purse she bought me last year.  The only thing left in my room is my autographed Yzerman jersey because Steve Yzerman is still special and it got a special dispensation.  My Wings/Tigers t-shirt blanket also remains, but that will only be displayed Tigers-side up from now on.

I've suddenly got a lot more room in my drawers.

  My clothes-packing fit was briefly interrupted by my mom calling me crazy and (correctly) pointing out that I was going to need another tub.  It would seem that no matter how much I sat on the lid, one 18-gallon tub just wasn't going to cut it.  At that point it also occurred to me that I might have some issues with being a Wings merchandise hoarder, but that's a problem to tackle on a different day.  Once I made another perilous trip to the top of the pile of tubs to retrieve a second tub, I packed the excess into that.  Then went back upstairs and made a second sweep of my room.  I found a few stray shirts that had escaped the first pass and then, since I had plenty of space, I grabbed some of the other memorabilia.  My autographed pucks, several car flags (How on earth did I end up with 5 of them?), calendars, and anything else that wasn't particularly breakable got tossed in the tub too.

Banished to the basement.

My mom thinks I'm a raving lunatic because of this, but I think it's a perfectly reasonable response.  If the NHL is going to have another lockout, that's its business.  But I will not be wearing any of its merchandise or spending any time thinking about it in the meantime.  If/when hockey comes back, I'll watch.  The tubs will be pulled out of the basement and clothes put back into circulation.  I know I won't be able to stay away, and any threat otherwise is hollow.  But until then, you won't see me wearing anything hockey-related.  I won't be writing about it.  I won't be reading about it.  I've got plenty of other interests that can take up my time.  I've got the Tigers, the Wolverines, a dozen lifetime's worth of books, and a whole boatload of British tv to pass the time.  I think I'm going to be just fine.

Red Wings vs. Blues GP...

Red Wings: 16-8-1

Blues: 14-9-3

Season Series: 0-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

This will never, ever get old.

Red Wings vs. Sabres GP...

Red Wings: 15-7-1

Sabres: 13-10-1

Season Series: 0-0

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Complete with Stevie fighting and goalies throwing punches.

Red Wings vs. Blues GP...

Red Wings: 9-5-1

Blues: 8-7-1

Red Wings Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings 6, Lightning 2: Post Game Snipes...

• One of my lifelong dreams has been to attend a Wings road game. I went to see them play Tampa last night, but I'm not sure that counts. Walking up to the arena, Wings jerseys outnumbered Lightning ones 4 to 1. I didn't see my first Bolts gear until I actually made it to area right outside of the rink. I expected there to be a significant percentage of Wings fans in attendance, but it was still exciting to see the army of red and white sweaters heading into the building. That has to be demoralizing for the home team/crowd.
• They were giving away noisemakers last night, but I was denied one because I was a Wings fan. I was okay with it though, because I don't have any desire to own anything that features the logo of another NHL team, even if the Bolts are my Eastern Conference secondary team. Once the game got underway, I figured out why they chose last night to do that giveaway: without the noisemakers, the home crowd didn't stand a chance of being heard over the thunderous LGRW chants the Wings fans started. The Bolts fans played the living daylights out of those noisemakers all game long. I found it obnoxious until I grabbed one on the way out. It was only then that I realized why they had been playing with them non-stop: they're incredibly fun and addictive. I used mine to play music to accompany my CD player for most of the trip home.
• I got to the rink excessively early because I wanted to make sure I had time to take a lap around the concourse and explore the only non-JLA NHL arena I'd ever been in. The place was nice enough, but I still missed the campiness of the Joe. The walls of the concourse were covered with giant replicas of front pages of the St. Pete Times from the past. It was more of a shrine to the newspaper than to hockey, which is also my number one reason for wishing against all odds that the Wings will never have to share a building with the Pistons.
• More I-miss-the-Joe notes: they only sell bottled pop there; I keep saying this wasteland is uncivilized and nobody believes me. This should prove it. Food and drink prices were way more expensive than I was used to at the Joe. I guess we really are spoiled back home.
• Call me a sap, but I also missed the old scoreboard at the Joe. The one in Tampa is slick for sure, but I found it hard to read, especially when I was trying to see how much time was left on powerplays. (Old people live in Florida. They should use larger-sized numbers so they can have a chance at seeing vital info like that. I could barely make it out and I'm young and spry.) [The entire purpose of the rant in parentheses was so that I could use the word “spry.”]
• The loudest cheer of the night came (predictably) when they showed Steve Yzerman on the scoreboard before the game started.
• By the time the Wings got the scoring underway, the ratio of red to blue in the stands had evened out for the most part. When they netted their first goal, half of the arena stood up and cheered. There was an entire section in the lower bowl that was almost full of Wings faithful.
• A fun game might be to play Where's Waldo? The Lightning Fan? with this picture:
  
  
  
• The Wings brought their A-game in the first period; perhaps they were eager to show Stevie that he should've stayed in Detroit.
• During the first intermission (and maybe the second—I left my seat during that one), there was what boils down to a zamboni party bus. It was towing the Bolts' mascot behind it on a wake-board. It was...interesting.
  
• Things went decidedly downhill during the second period as the Wings allowed the Bolts to erase their lead and tie the game up. Somehow they managed to wake up again and take back control of the game.
• I managed to get a shot of Abby's goal as the puck hit the twine. It was a really exciting moment for me.
• Here's a SSDD exclusive look inside my thought process during Darren Helm's breakaway goal: “Ooooh loose puck! What a chance to-oh, wait, it's Helm. Crap. Oh my god he scored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Don't get me wrong—I love Helm as much as anyone, but I'm so used to seeing him go the donut goalie route on chances like that that I pretty much expect it now.
• I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Pavel Datsyuk is a ridiculous human being. There's really nothing more to add about him.
• The box score says the Lightning had twenty shots in the third, but it didn't seem like it at all.
• The final octopi tally for the night was three. One of the arena workers even twirled one. This made me deliriously happy, albeit a tad confused.
• I had a total emo moment during the third period when I started to wonder if it would be the last time I ever got to see Lidstrom play live. Last time I did an internship here, I missed Yzerman's last season. Things like this give me anxiety.

Hero: Pavel Datsyuk
His two goals made my night.

Villain: I'm not making anyone a villain for this game. I'm still in too good of a mood.


Final Thought:
I felt more at home at the game than I have at any point since I've been in Florida. I love hockey.

Weekly Wrap-Up Volume Ten...

Caption Mondays: Sara Neuie wins this week with a last-minute entry.

Rig: Hey Pav! There's something wrong with your pants!
Pav: Huh? *looks down* I see nothing wrong.
Rig: But your pants- they're gaping open. Your thigh shows when you stretch like that.
Pav: Huh? They're what?
Rig: You have a giant hole in your pants, Pav!
Pav: *looks again and looks up at Rig more confused than before* Huh?
Rig: Ugh, I'll just tell Hank...

Trivia Tuesdays: Crater got this week's answer, with Ryan chiming in with some additional info.

This week's question: Who holds the Wings' record for points-per-game in a single season? What year did he set the record?

The Answer: Steve Yzerman scored 155 points in 80 games for a 1.94 points-per-game average in the 1988-89 season. That's...a lot.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Operation Curly Fries...

The boys from TPL have been hard at work on Operation Curly fries for the last couple weeks. These noble warriors have convinced Arby's and FSD to put the hat trick giveaway to a vote. It's come down to a fight to the death between our beloved curly fries and the treacherous junior roast beef sandwich. Voting was going well at first, as the fries had a significant lead. However, as the night has gone on, the JRBS has slowly been gaining.

I know you might look at the poll results right now and think that all hope is lost, but we cannot stand for this, Wings fans! Our will is strong and our cause is just and we shall prevail. Someday, many years from now, our grandchildren will sing heroic folk ballads about this great struggle in which we now find ourselves mired. Monuments will be erected, bank holidays will be established, and, if we're really lucky, there might even be some fireworks in our honor. This triumph shall go down in the annals of Red Wings lore to be celebrated by generations of Wings fans to come. We are facing a turning point in history and the fates of billions of Wings fans rest in our hands. This is bigger than any one of us. We must. Keep. Voting.

Should your confidence waver as we fight so righteously for the one, true hat trick celebration food to be returned to us, look no further than this annotated list of inspirational quotes from some of history's greatest minds. Stay strong, Wings fans. We shall conquer.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” 

- Thomas Paine

This dude knows what he's talking about. Sure, he was probably referring to lofty ideas like freedom and liberty, but our curly fry battle is no laughing matter.

“Every time we think we've measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard; we will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars.”

- President Bartlet on The West Wing

Just because he's a fictional Commander in Chief doesn't mean that President Bartlet doesn't know what he's talking about. This is a time for American heroes. This battle is not easy, but the results will be well worth the effort.

"Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts." 

- Coleman Cox

Confession: This one's really only on this list because I've never talked about woodpeckers here at SSDD and I felt like that needed to change.

“There is nothing in life so difficult that it cannot be overcome. This faith can move mountains. It can change people. It can change the world.”

- Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Do you hear that? We're changing the world one curly fry at a time.

"Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did. On the contrary, if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and will regret it all your life."

- Abraham Lincoln

Listen to old Abe here. He knows what's up. Do you want to regret not voting for curly fries for the rest of your life? Think about that: the rest of your life? I, for one, sure wouldn't want to be living out my days with that kind of weight on my shoulders.

When the story of these times gets written, we want it to say that we did all we could, and it was more than anyone could have imagined.

- Bono

I bet a lot of people thought this was a joke that was going nowhere when Operation Curly Fries began. Look where we are now.

“If you don't vote for curly fries, you're either a puppy-kicker or Gary Bettman.”

- Kris from SSDD

Woah, that's deep. She must be a pretty smart chick.

"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed."

- B.C. Forbes

If there's a phrase that should be associated with the Wings and their fans, I would think that “notable winners” would be it. Don't let the existence of JRBSs (are they related to ROUSs?) break your heart. This is just a test.

“There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.”

- Unknown

Hopefully at least enough to work off the calories of the delicious curly fries we're working to get.

"The characteristic of a genuine heroism is its persistency. All men have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when you have resolved to be great, abide by yourself, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world. The heroic cannot be the common, nor the common the heroic."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have indeed resolved to be great. Don't settle for a JRBS in place of delicious curly fries. Arby's curly fries are unique; they are pinnacles of excellent flavor. Wings fans deserve so much more than the mundane roast beef the fast food chain in currently offering.

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

- Albert Einstein

I'm guessing Albert is talking about Pens fans, but I guess it could apply to any of the haters and trolls out there.

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”

- Ayn Rand

The hat trick giveaway that we desire can be won. Curly fries are ours for the taking. All you have to do is keep voting.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

- Anne Bradstreet

I bet you took your free curly fries for granted last season. It wasn't until they were unceremoniously snatched away from us like a kidnapped baby in the night that you realized how truly delicious they were. This struggle will make the eventual curly fries that we get from Arby's that much tastier.

"A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose - a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve."

- John Maxwell

Have no fear, Wings fans. I can assure you that this battle has a purpose. Our goal is achievable if we just stay strong and endure the continued existence of free JRBSs for just a few more days.

“Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole, clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve!”

- Andrew Carnegie

I'm guessing this was a passage read at Steve Yzerman's baptism, but it works just as well here. Yes, life will be glorious once we have been declared victorious. Also, things will probably rhyme more. Double win!

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek."

- Mario Andretti

We do indeed need an unrelenting pursuit of our goal. We can't drop the ball on this, kids. Too much work has gone into making this grassroots effort a reality. Success is our only option.

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

- Walt Disney

Yeah, a JRBS would kick you in the teeth. They're like that. Things may look tough now, but we'll come out of this stronger and better for having faced down the challenge.

There you go. If those great minds can't keep you motivated to keep refreshing your page and voting for curly fries, I don't know what will. Real life may have to take a backseat to this for a while, but it will be worth it in the end*. Your friends and family will understand.

*Some negative consequences such as unemployment, your spouse leaving, your children starving, your goldfish being eaten by your cat, your cat choking on the goldfish, WWIII, or Justin Bieber music being downloaded onto your ipod may result from neglecting your real life to vote for curly fries. Kris cannot be held responsible for any of these occurences. Proceed at your own risk—if you want to be a true hero, you're going to have to live through some danger. Time to cowboy up.

2010-2011 Player Profiles: Drew Miller...

Hey, kids, guess what? Hockey's almost here. That means it's time for me to get back into this whole blogging thing that I've neglected during the off-season. Since I lack the creativity to come up with a new gimmick, I decided to continue the Player Profiles series I did last year leading up to the season. I'll be taking a look at a different player (almost) every day between now and when hockey starts. By my count, there are 10 days until the Wings open the regular season. Get excited. Today's subject:

Drew Miller

2009-2010 Regular Season: 80 GP, 10-9-19, +/- 2, 12 PIM

2010 Playoffs: 12 GP, 1-1-2, +/- 2, 4 PIM

Season Highlight: His flying goal against Nashville.

Season Lowlight: Getting waived by the Lightning.

Drew Miller wasn't really even on my radar at the beginning of the season last year. He was tucked away in one of the league's hockey wastelands, and didn't seem particularly important. He ended up getting waived by the Lightning, which I would consider vaguely insulting coming from the Lightning (of course, this was in the pre-Steve Yzerman GM days). Ken Holland snagged Miller off of the waiver wire (which seems like a rarity for the Wings in the recent past), and it turned out to be another good find on his part.

I was glad to hear that the Wings re-signed him over the off-season. He's fighting for a spot on the fourth line this season and it's not clear what kind of ice time he's going to be seeing. He endeared himself to me last season with his hard work, but he might have a hard time cracking the lineup unless there are injuries. Also, did you know that Ryan Miller is his brother?  Wowzers.

What he needs to do to make me smile: Keep rocking that salt'n'pepper hair.

2010-2011 Player Profiles: Niklas Kronwall...

Hey, kids, guess what? Hockey's almost here. That means it's time for me to get back into this whole blogging thing that I've neglected during the off-season. Since I lack the creativity to come up with a new gimmick, I decided to continue the Player Profiles series I did last year leading up to the season. I'll be taking a look at a different player (almost) every day between now and when hockey starts. By my count, there are 13 days until the Wings open the regular season. Get excited. Today's subject:

Niklas Kronwall

2009-2010 Regular Season: 48 GP, 7-15-22, +/- 5, 32 PIM

2010 Playoffs: 12 GP, 0-5-5, +/-2, 12 PIM

Season Highlight: This is a lame choice, but I remember loving this empty-netter he scored on Steve Yzerman night, largely because of the reaction of the crowd as it seemed to inch its way toward the goal. And also because it occurred on Steve Yzerman night. Everything that happened that night is remembered fondly.

Season Lowlight: The dirty knee-on-knee hit he took from Laraque.

Kronwall was having a fantastic start to the season last year. Then, thanks to a dirty hit from Georges Laraque, he spent several weeks out with a knee injury. Even when he returned to the lineup, he continued to have issues with it and never seemed quite right. He had minor surgery during the off-season that hopefully fixed whatever issues he had.

Now that he's been bumped up to the top line to play with Lidstrom, Kronner has a lot to live up to. He looked good in camp and seemed to be skating well throughout the week. He looked like he was re-energized and feeling good. On the top pairing, he should be able to return to the offensive pace he showed prior to getting hurt last season. The biggest question with Kronwall is always his ability to stay healthy. I swear that man is made of glass. If he can keep from getting hurt, he should have a good year.

What he needs to do to make me smile: Stay healthy.

Adventures of A Red Wings Packrat: Jersey Foul Edition...

I just so happen to be the proud-ish owner of a Red Wings jersey foul. I say “proud-ish” because after all these years, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. I’ve had it for at least eight years (it was an integral part of my ’02 Cup celebration), but I’m not exactly sure when it came into my possession. I have no idea where my mom found it. It’s a baseball-style jersey that says “Red Wings” on the front and has Shanny’s name on the back. It’s officially licensed stuff, so I’m not 100% sure it qualifies as a foul. Either way, it’s awesomely bad.

Back in ’02, I was but a high school sophomore. The Wings were kind enough to win the Cup the night before the last day of school/final exams. The next day, I wore the jersey foul since wearing a real hockey jersey to school in June would’ve been a poor life decision. One of my best friends happened to show up in an Yzerman semi-jersey that day, too. Somehow, in our excitement, we ended up nicknaming each other after the players on our backs. I became Shanny and she became Stevie. This was ironic because my favorite player was Stevie and hers was Shanny.

That day was also the end of the year pool party for a school club. At the party, we assigned Wings player names to all of our friends. An extremely studious friend became Igor Larionov. A talkative one became Brett Hull. Someone else became Sergei Fedorov because we felt like he had to be represented at the party and nobody else fit. I think there was also a Luc Robitaille. Nobody else there had the slightest idea what we were talking about. I’m fairly certain that most of them wouldn’t have known the Wings had won the Cup if we hadn’t shouted it at them multiple times. That didn’t stop us from finding a silver-ish bucket and making them pose for celebration shots like the team did on the ice. We also discovered that the people who were hosting the party owned an autographed Gordie Howe stick which they let us take pictures with, but that’s not really the point. In more on-topic news, a red and white jersey foul paired with a turquoise beach wrap with killer whales on it makes a fantastic outfit.

Those same jerseys were worn down to the city a few days afterward when my dad took us to the celebration parade. It was the first we’d been able to attend. It was sweltering. Once again, the Shanny jersey foul saved me with its short sleeves and breathable fabric. I’m fairly certain it was almost seven years before the jersey foul made it out of my closet again to see the light of day.

Last spring, when the Wings were in the Finals, that same friend from high school and I decided to watch one of the road games down at Hockeytown Café. I’d worn most of my Wings shirts already, so I decided to throw on the Shanny foul for nostalgia’s sake. Imagine my surprise when my friend showed up at my front door wearing the very same Steve Yzerman semi-jersey she’d worn for our fake celebration all those years earlier. It was an awesome moment in our friendship. Of course, the Wings went on to lose the game, further cementing my refusal to watch another Finals game at Hockeytown ever again. (I was also there for the 3OT disaster in ’08.)

When I decided to stop being lazy and write something, I chose this jersey foul because I’ll be wearing it when Liz and I go to the Wings Alumni Softball Game tomorrow. She’ll also be rocking a jersey foul. I figure mine won’t be terribly out of place there since it’s a Wings softball game.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Part One...

The Good

• Let’s start with the obvious. Herm 2 Hockeytown was one of the coolest things I’ve ever been a part of. The extent to which the Red Wings community reaches amazes me. Not only did we bring Herm here to watch a game, but we also raised over $5,000 for Children’s Hospital. Hanging out at Hockeytown, singing Happy Birthday to Jimmy Howard, the tin foil hats, post-gaming at the Town Pump, and visiting Greektown in the middle of the night were just some of the highlights of the night. When I first started blogging, I swore I’d never meet anyone off of the internet. Boy am I glad I broke that promise. There are some truly great people out there in Red Wings Nation.
• One of the best legacies of H2H was the creation of the #redwingscommune a little while later. None of that would have happened without the real life connections we made that weekend. We had Commune gatherings all over the Metro area during the playoffs, and I really think we helped each other survive. We ended up with a whole array of lingo like donut goalies, Drunk Lebda, and Homerbait and there’s nobody I would rather have been with at the end of Game Five.
• At one of our Commune gatherings, we came up with an idea to have a Tin Foil Flashmob at the Joe. Originally, we wanted to rally people to wrap the building with tin foil, but decided that that idea was impractical. Somehow, it evolved into a plan to recruit dancers while passing out tin foil hats outside of the Joe. It was an absolutely absurd idea, but we had a blast. It was crazy and miles away from anything I ever imagined myself doing, but I loved being a part of it.
• Jimmy Howard was a revelation this season. I don’t think many people expected him to perform the way he did. I figured he was a temporary solution until one of the younger goalies was ready for the NHL. He looked awful during the beginning of the season. He managed to turn things around, though, and took over the starter’s job. He was nothing short of brilliant on several occasions. Here’s hoping he can keep it up next season.
• The Olympics were phenomenal. I could’ve done with a different ending, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glued to my TV for the majority of the tournament.
• The fact that Andreas Lilja was able to come back after almost a year on IR was great. I really thought his career was over and that Mickey Redmond was crazy when he started talking about Lils being close to coming back during one of the broadcasts. He provided a much-needed steady influence on the third pairing.
• Game Seven in the first round and Game Four in the second round were amazingly fun. Watching Game Seven at Kukla’s with the commune was a blast, and the Mule’s rampage in Game Four was one for the ages. They were definitely the highlights of the playoffs.
• Brendan Shanahan joining Twitter was one of the best events of the season. That guy makes my life. I expected him to just twitter boring things, but he’s been nothing short of entertaining.
• The Versus announcers once again created another fun new word for us. I’m a big fan of “danglelicious” and feel like a bit of a failure because I don’t use it more often. I’m going to work on that over the summer.
• Another Versus highlight was the addition of Darren McCarty as an intermission commentator. He looked pretty nervous at first, but seems to have settled into the job. It’s nice to have someone on there to make their intermission reports tolerable. If you didn’t already love him, the time they called him a homer and he said that he had four reasons to be a homer surely melted your heart.
• Watching Jimmy Howard go after Sidney Crosby was one of the highlights of the regular season. It even inspired Henrik Zetterberg to deliver one of my favorite quotes of the year: “I saw Jimmy coming in with his glove and Crosby wasn’t there anymore.” Perfect.
• The post-Olympic run that the Wings went on was a blast. We’d been waiting all season for the real Wings to show up, and this stretch catapulted them into the 5th playoff seed. It was the only real display of Red Wing hockey that we got to see all season.
• The NHL’s History Will Be Made commercials were fabulous. Some of the ones toward the end were a little ridiculous, but the initial concept was brilliant. The Datsyuk/Zetterberg one was my personal favorite, though I might be slightly biased in that regard. Other than the fact that it featured my two favorite current players, I liked the fact that it required a little bit of hockey knowledge to understand the “What if” question.
  
• The speechless commercial that debuted during the Finals was pretty awesome, too.
• Johan Franzen didn’t quite live up to his mouthguard-snatching from last season, but I was a big fan of his diving pantomime during a game against Chicago.
  

On a personal note:

• Getting to know you crazy sunshines online and in real life made this season one of the most memorable ever, despite the frustration it induced. It truly was fantastic.
• Meeting Steve Yzerman in November was obviously one of my personal highlights. I still can’t really believe that actually happened.
• My friend getting her foot stuck in one of the seats at the Joe was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. She’s still a little bit bitter about the lack of help that she received from me and the fact that I wrote about it and mentioned the incident on TOV.
• I also managed to make it to more games this season than ever before. This included not one, but two playoff games. Sitting down by the glass with Sara and TPL Mom against San Jose was incredible.
• At one of those games, I got the opportunity to go out on the ice to participate in the turkey bowling game during intermission. I was an incredible failure at it, but my team still managed to win. We got free tickets to another game and got to keep our turkeys. This resulted in my little brother wandering around the Joe carrying a frozen turkey for the next two periods. The pictures we have are priceless.

New Stomping Grounds...

This past week, I was invited to join the team behind the blog Chicks Who Give A Puck. I’ll be giving my Red Wings-biased opinion about, well, whatever I feel like. I got to know Courtney when she visited last weekend. My first write-up was about Steve Yzerman’s departure for Tampa Bay. I already wrote a piece about it here, but I tried to explain what he means to fans of this team for “outsiders” who don’t get it. It’s a little dramatic and apparently made my mom cry, but you can find it here. I’m going to keep posting stuff at SSDD regularly, so I’m not going anywhere. The Chicks blog can be found here, and this is the blog’s Twitter account. I’m pretty excited about this opportunity. I’ve turned down a couple of offers in the past to join other blog staffs, but I think this is a good fit. Besides, someone has to represent the best organization in hockey over there.

I Won't Say Goodbye...

We’ve all known this day was coming for a while now. I honestly didn’t think he was going to take the Tampa Bay job, but I guess that shows what I know. It could be a lot worse. Tampa is in the East, so we won’t be seeing a lot of Stevie’s new team. I’ve also never found a reason to hate them. My feeling toward the Bolts is best described as “indifferent,” with an occasional tinge of general dislike toward warm-weather teams.

That being said, I feel like a little kid who has just been abandoned. It’s a weird feeling. It’s the same way I felt when he retired. This is the first day in my life in which Steve Yzerman is associated with another NHL organization, and seeing that picture of him with the Tampa Bay lapel pin is somehow jarring. I prefer to imagine that we're loaning him out to Tampa even if that makes no sense at all. I’ll get over it, I guess. I really do wish him the best of luck. I don’t think anyone in Detroit could begrudge his decision to take this next step. I do suspect, however, that I’m going to be spending the next week having nightmares about a Wings-Lightning Final someday.

You can have him as your GM, Tampa, but he’ll always be our Captain. You can’t take that away from us. There's a banner hanging in the rafters of Joe Louis Arena that proves he's a Wing for life. It hurts to see him walk away, but in the end I can't help but be happy for him. So no, I won't say goodbye...just good luck.

What the Joe Means to Me...

A couple of months ago, I had to write an essay about a location that I considered "sacred" for a geography class. In this context, sacred doesn't necessarily mean religious (although in many cases it can). It refers to a place that has great value and meaning attached to it by an individual or group. Naturally, I chose to write about the Joe. It might be a little wordy and boring, but it was written for a class and I didn't feel like cutting or editing it just to post it here. It's not particularly interesting, but I felt like a slacker after going a whole week without posting anything. I also needed an excuse to point out the new banner that Sara made for me. I've been wanting a new banner for a while, and even have one drawn out in my head, but I haven't had time to make it yet. I think I'll stick with this one for a while.

I have many places in my life that I consider to be sacred. These places include my home, places on campus, National Parks that instilled me with a sense of peace, places that bring back fond memories, and even amusement parks. However, the place that I have always revered more than anywhere else is Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. The home of my beloved Detroit Red Wings, it has always had an aura of magic surrounding it in my mind. Dating back to my childhood, “The Joe,” as Red Wings fans call it, has been a place that I have dreamed about and idolized.

Joe Louis Arena was completed in 1979 and is owned by the City of Detroit. It is most likely in its final years as home to the Red Wings, and its fate is a controversial topic among local residents. The Arena is currently one of the oldest buildings still serving as homes to NHL teams. It has long been outdated, and it is clear to visitors that it lacks the amenities of more modern sports arenas. The food services often cannot handle the amount of customers that flock to them during intermissions, and it is a common occurrence for ticket-holders to miss the beginnings of the second or third periods because the bathroom lines that spring up during intermission are too long. Those who are able to afford luxury suites find themselves situated in the rafters with views that make the action on the ice seem like it is a mile away. The Arena is located on Detroit’s riverfront, but was positioned in such a manner that it is extremely difficult to access by vehicle. Visiting the box office is often a navigational adventure. It is wedged in between the Detroit River, Cobo Hall Convention Center (home of our Auto Show), and a freeway. As such, there are no local eateries or bars to cater to pre- and post-game crowds. Finally, the Arena’s iconic entrances feature long, steep flights of narrow stairs that are difficult to climb for even the most sure-footed fans. Combined with the ice and snow that frequently accompany hockey season in Michigan, those stairs are quite a safety hazard.

With all of these flaws and shortcomings, people often wonder why I have such a strong attachment to The Joe. There are few things that I have loved more than the Red Wings in my life, and The Joe has always been a symbol of the team in my mind. When I was growing up, my family could not afford to attend many hockey games. Because they were so few and far between, each visit to The Joe seemed like an adventure. I would look forward to going for weeks in advance. My excitement would build as we drove down to the Riverfront. By the time we reached the top of the spiral ramp to park on the roof of Cobo Hall, I would be ecstatic. The steep stairs at the entrances to the Arena were not a problem for me as I would run to the top and eagerly wait for my family to catch up to me.

Walking through the doors into The Joe feels like stepping into a wonderland. The concourse is always packed with thousands of people wearing red and white jerseys. Cases of memorabilia and photos from the team’s history line the walls and pillars in the concourse. The most magical moment, though, was stepping through the curtains into the heart of the arena. To this day, the first glimpse of the ice surface leaves me in awe. It always seemed so small and far away when I watched games on television, but seeing it in person made it seem larger than life. Gazing up at the rafters is equally impressive; they are draped with dozens of red and white banners commemorating Division, Conference, and Stanley Cup Championships, and retired numbers like Steve Yzerman’s 19 and Gordie Howe’s 9 over the years. No trip to The Joe would be complete without a visit to ice level to watch the team warm up. Watching the game played from that vantage point really gives the viewer a good perspective on the speed of the game. I love to stand against the glass directly behind the goal while the team circles and fires pucks at the net. Seeing the pucks whiz by and smack the glass right in front of my face makes it impossible not to appreciate the skill and strength of the players and goalies.

One of my favorite aspects of visiting The Joe is being able to see plays develop on the whole ice surface. Hockey is a sport that does not always translate well to television. The game is played at such a fast pace that camera operators sometimes have a difficult time keeping up with the players or the puck. Watching the game live at the arena eliminates all of those problems. You are also treated to the unique sounds of a hockey game. The smack of the puck hitting the goalies’ pads, the rattle of the boards after a hard check, and the crisp sound of a tape-to-tape pass all have a sense of beauty to a die hard hockey fan like myself. Being able to experience these things in person is one of my favorite aspects of visiting The Joe. I do not believe that one can truly capture the essence of hockey on television, and the only way to really connect with the game is to experience it live.

The Joe also holds numerous fond memories for me. I can close my eyes and remember sitting in the lower bowl the night that Steve Yzerman, my favorite player of all time, scored his six-hundredth career goal. The entire arena stood and clapped for what seemed like ten minutes when his milestone was announced. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to meet Yzerman in one of the suites at the Arena, and I can remember that moment like it was yesterday. In recent years, I have been able to attend more games with both friends and family. I also got the opportunity to tour the Red Wings’ locker room with my little sister during a summer event recently. We went to a game together this season as well, and I enjoyed sharing the sport that I love so much with her at The Joe.

The Arena also has an atmosphere that is unmatched. I love the camaraderie that exists between total strangers during games. I attended a playoff game last season, and I have never heard a building as loud and enthusiastic as The Joe was that night. The game went to overtime, and the Wings eventually won on an odd-man rush. The fans rose to their feet like a wave as the players sped down the ice toward the opposing goal. It was as if the people in the seats could sense what was about to happen. When the puck finally entered the net, the arena was filled with absolute jubilation. We were jumping up and down, high-fiving everyone in sight, posing for pictures with strangers, and screaming at the top of our lungs. It seemed like everything was right in the world in those moments after the game. I had another similar experience the year before, when I went to The Joe to watch a game in the Stanley Cup Finals. It was a road game, but they sold tickets for a charity fundraiser to watch the game on the scoreboard in the arena. At the end of the game, when the Wings had finally won, confetti fell from the rafters as it would have if the team had been there on the ice. The building was less than half full, but the crowd that was there that night more than made up for it. After we left The Joe, my friend and I found ourselves running through downtown Detroit in the rain, wearing our brand new Stanley Cup Champions t-shirts, and high-fiving strangers, with confetti still falling out of our hair. I will never forget that night as long as I live.

I have never been to another place that has inspired such a range of emotions and fond memories. For as long as I can remember, Joe Louis Arena has been a place that I have held sacred. From the time that I was a child, I would dream about getting to go see a Red Wings game in person. Over time, those rare visits with my parents have given way to more frequent trips with my friends. For all of its flaws and shortcomings, I truly love Joe Louis Arena, and I am enjoying getting to experience its atmosphere more regularly during the twilight of its time as home of the Detroit Red Wings.

Lockout Hockey Photos...

I was digging though some of my old pictures, and I came across some from a charity game that some of the Wings played at Yost Arena during the lockout. I honestly can’t remember what they were raising money for, but a bunch of NHLers faced off against the USA 18-under team. In desperate need of a hockey fix, my friend and I headed down to the rink to see (among others) Steve Yzerman, Nick Lidstrom, Kris Draper, Chris Chelios, Manny Legace, Steve Duchesne, and Derian Hatcher. I’m also about 80% sure that Kid Rock coached the NHL team. It was interesting looking back through the pictures because I spotted a young Phil Kessel on the ice for Team USA. I can’t find a roster for ’04-’05, but I would suspect that if someone located one so we could compare numbers, we’d see some other familiar names. Unfortunately, my camera back then was less than stellar, so the pictures aren’t great quality.

My friend and I had total crushes on the USA goalie. That explains the numerous pictures of him as I tried to get a shot of his face. I wonder what ever happened to him…

Another good part of the game was when the PA announcer mocked Cheli for something (I can’t remember what). He proceeded to lurk menacingly around the penalty box. The PA guy then said, “Why is Chris Chelios by the penalty box?” which was a lot funnier then than it is now that I’ve typed it out.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun at the game (which I think USA won), and I love coming across hidden treasures like this.

I also finally got around to uploading my pictures from the game against Edmonton on March 30th. I’ve got shots from warm-ups, some from the alumni suite, a couple of stalkerish pictures of Sara’s family and my brother taken from the balcony, and some shots of Larry Murphy on the concourse. Click and enjoy.

Contest of Insanity Results...

Good news, sushines. I’ve finally gotten around to sitting down with my mom so she could judge the Contest of Insanity. She selected this entry, by Rob from Etched in Cold:


I’m told that her selection was based on the fact that it was the only one that made her laugh. Those subtitles are killer. Rob’s the lucky recipient of an autographed picture of Joey Kocur and the opportunity to pose a question for me to devote an entry to, in addition to all the fame and glory that accompany being the first ever SSDD contest winner.

This one, from international superstar Herm, was her second favorite entry:


For the record, she said that this one would’ve won if it hadn’t had the “The” out front. And people wonder why I turned out to be such a perfectionist…

Anyway, I loved all of the entries and I had a good time trying to explain some of the inside jokes to my mom. These were two of my favorites, both by Jenn:



These two get the special (and recently invented) Blogger's Choice Award, so Jenn can also submit a topic for me to write about. This has been a lot of fun, and hopefully if I decide to run contests in the future, it won't take me six years to get around to judging them. Please do check out all of the contest entries in the comments section of the original post. The routine of Ctrl-C, T, V, and Enter will be your friend.

Red Wings 6, Wild 2: Post Game Snipes and Wish List Results...

• I wanted to get this up earlier so that I could help those of the 19 who are having a little bit of difficulty piecing together last night’s events, but then I ended up sleeping until 2pm.
• First off: Last night was epic in every sense of the word. I loved meeting everybody, and I’m so excited that most of you turned out not to be serial killers. Everyone was fantastic, and I enjoyed literally every minute of the night/morning.
• Herm was treated like royalty by the Wings organization. The lengths to which they went to make this event happen were incredible. My brother called me and asked if Herm was an ambassador or a dignitary when he saw all of the great things the team did for him.
• At Hockeytown, one of the Wings’ staff, Nicole, informed me that after reading my post about the TweetSuite back in the fall, she had printed it out and given it to Steve Yzerman to read. I just about died. I’m still in awe of that.
• Prior to the game, I had this horrible feeling that there was going to be some sort of disputed goal that would result in the 19 turning into an angry mob and setting fire to the building before hijacking a freighter out in the river and sailing to a remote hideaway in the UP. To the surprise of absolutely no one, early in the first period, such an event almost transpired. The Wild apparently scored a goal that nobody in the stands saw enter the net. The play went to review, and even though I received text messages from home assuring me that the puck did not cross the line, I have no faith in the NHL’s review system. The 19 were getting restless. Torches and Molotov cocktails were starting to appear out of purses and pants. Shockingly, though, the call was reversed and was ruled to not be a goal. I was amused at how stunned we all were in the stands.
• The rest of the first period wasn’t particularly memorable. I was pretty concerned that the Wings hadn’t managed to convert on any of their powerplays during the first, since I figured even-out calls would be on their way.
• During the first intermission Malik got to ride the zamboni. He took one of the Bill-on-a-sticks with him. It was epic.
• Also during the first intermission, Lola passed out tin foil hats to our whole crew. I can only imagine what the people around us were thinking.
• As soon as we donned our hats, the Wings scored four goals. Coincidence? I think not.
• While wearing the hats, I figured out why we use them to cover things that are being baked. My head was on fire. My friend, Gabi, who is best known for getting her foot stuck in the back of the seat at the Joe in December, and I got a lot of questions about our headwear out on the concourse during intermission. I tried to explain, but people’s eyes kind of glazed over when I started talking about bloggers and insults and disallowed goals.
• I really, really, really wanted Franzen to complete his hat trick so that we could all show up to Arby’s together to receive our hard earned free curly fries. Alas, it was not to be.
• As far as I know, all but one of the LGRW chants started in the building last night originated in our section. If there was any doubt as to whether we’re the best fans ever, I think it’s safe to say that it’s long gone now.
• We sang Happy Birthday to Jimmy at least three times throughout the night. I was really disappointed that nobody else joined in, even after it was announced on the scoreboard.
• Several of us ended up stranded under the overhang at Cobo hoping that Hockeytown was sending another round of shuttles. Eventually we made it back to the restaurant, but it took quite a bit of pacing up and down the sidewalk, dodging taxis in the street, and debating about the best strategy to safely return to the Café.
• Herm got to go down to the locker room and meet Darren Helm. He got his stick, some game pucks, and an autograph on his jersey.
• We couldn’t get seated at Hockeytown so after milling around in the lobby for a while, we migrated over to the Town Pump a block away.
• This was the first time I’ve closed a bar in years. Years.
• Once the lights came on, we weren’t done yet, so some folks headed over to Greektown in search of some gyros. We parked in the casino parking garage and managed to get lost on the gambling floor and yelled at for trying to take a picture with the Bill-on-a-stick that I somehow ended up with. Once we found our way down to the ground floor, we got to take a walking tour of Greektown since we were on the opposite side of the building from the restaurant. We were denied entry to the New Parthenon because they apparently close at exactly 2:34am. Even though half of our group had gotten seated a couple of minutes before we got there, they wouldn’t let us in. Lame.
• Instead, we went to the first open restaurant that we found, and ended up at the Laikon Café. We had a fantastic time there, and our waiter was awesome.
• I finally made it to bed at 6am after having been up for 25 hours straight. It was just about 24 hours since I had left for work on Friday morning.
  

Wishlist:

• Todd Bertuzzi scores a hat trick and then winks rakishly at Petrella in the stands.
  No hat trick from Bert, but I think I captured him mid-wink on the way to the penalty box in the third period:
  
  

• My friend who is joining us gets her foot stuck in a chair at the Joe to the amusement of the entire H2H section. Again.
  I offered her five dollars to repeat her performance, but she was not willing to do it. Boo.
  

• The Megamix gets pumped.
  Did they play this? I guess I wasn’t paying that much attention.
  

• No one has to file any restraining orders against the fake internet people they just met. Don’t get me wrong, I’m coming prepared with the paperwork just in case, but I hope it doesn’t have to get put to use.
  No restraining orders. I’m pretty sure I didn’t pick up any stalkers last night. I’ve been checking out my windows regularly all day and have yet to spot anyone.
  

• A reenactment of March 26th, 1997 at the pre-game party.
  No reenactment. There’s still time at the gathering today, I guess.
  

• The people sitting near our group in the stands leave halfway through the game in terror.
  I didn’t notice anybody leaving, but the other folks in the stands had to be wondering what on earth was going on. Between Malik on the zamboni with the Bill-on-a-stick and the section of fans wearing tin foil hats, I can only assume that people thought we were on a field trip from an asylum.
  

• A round (or 19) of toasts for the Chief who is with us in spirit.
  Check.
  

• Finally getting to meet Herm and all of my other imaginary friends.
  This was so much fun. I’m normally pretty shy around people I don’t know well, but I felt right at home with all of you crazies. I don’t know if it was our shared level of insanity or the fact that on some days I twitter more with (former) strangers than people I actually know, but I had a great time.

• The Wingspan crew gets absolutely no footage appropriate enough to air on TV from the pre-game party.
  They actually did manage to put together some clips that were G-rated. So did Channels 2 and 7. Awesome. I even made it into a couple of the news clips, as did my mom.
  

• The Wings win (of course).
  Oh heck yes they did. It was glorious. Herm should be required to take up residence in Hockeytwon.
  

• Plenty of conversation about bacon, euchre, and Man Pocky.
  Check.
  

Cookies and Cupcakes for Johan Franzen
Too bad he couldn’t net that third goal or there really would’ve been pandemonium. Entire Arby’s franchises would probably have gone under if we’d showed up en masse for our free fries.

An Extra Stick tap for Darren Helm
For meeting with Herm and making his dreams come true.

Jimmy Howard gets the Golden Facepalm
Yeah, you know which goal I’m talking about. I was terrified when that went in because it let the Wild back into the game. Luckily, the Wings managed to keep going and put the game away shortly thereafter.

What I Learned:
Red Wings fans are the greatest people in the universe.

Red Wings vs. Avalanche GP...

Yesterday, midway through the USA-Canada game, I realized that the Wings were back in action tonight. I’d actually completely forgotten that, which is a testament to how much I enjoyed the Olympics. After spending the last two weeks planted in front of my TV for most of the day watching every second of Olympic coverage, I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with my life. I’d be 100% okay if they decided to have the Olympics every day. In order to fill the void left by the sudden lack of curling, ski jumping, aerials, and biathlon, I guess I’ll have to get back in the swing of blogging.

Before I return to the Wings, though, I have to say that the game yesterday was incredible. The two teams could not have made a better argument for NHL participation in the Olympics if they had brought flow charts and bar graphs. I was absolutely ecstatic when we tied the game in the final minute. Not even I, the ultimate homer, thought that Team USA would medal in these Olympics, so taking Canada to overtime in the gold medal game was incredible. Honestly, the thing that I’m most upset about is the fact that it had to be Crosby who scored the OT winner. He did next to nothing all tournament, but that’s not going to stop him from having statues erected in his honor all over Canada. I would’ve been more than okay if it had been Iginla, who I’ve always respected, or Nash who I have no issues with despite his status as a consistent Wing-destroyer. On the other hand, the shot of Yzerman and co. jumping up in the air after the goal made me feel a lot better. I’m glad Stevie isn’t going to have his Canadian citizenship revoked now.

1. Are the Wings going to come out of the Olympic break as dazed and confused as I am? Or can they continue playing like they did against Ottawa before the break? (That happened this century, right? It’s been a while.)
2. How will the Wings’ Olympians fare after their short break? Only Rafalski played yesterday so the rest of the team should be in pretty good shape. Honestly, Sweden and Russia getting knocked out early might’ve been the best thing to happen to the Wings in a long time.
3. Lilja’s slated to make his long-awaited return to NHL action tonight. It should be interesting, to say the least. How is that going to work out for him and the team? It sure would be a shame to have put Maltby out of action for the rest of the season to make room for the old, turnover-machine version of Lilja.
4. Can Rafalski bring his stellar Olympic play back to the Wings? If he plays like that down the stretch, things are going to be looking happier around here.

2009 in Five Minutes or Less...

January

The Winter Classic happened. Without that crucial 16th playoff victory, this game stands out as the highlight of the season. My brother and I requested off of work two months in advance to make sure we weren’t scheduled during the game. I skipped my cousin’s birthday gathering to stay home and watch. It was everything it was cracked up to be. Pavel Datsyuk scored on a wind-aided breakaway. Henrik Zetterberg wore eye black. The Wings showed the Blackhawks that they were still in charge of the Central. The weather was glorious and it made me nostalgic for the childhood pond hockey that I never played. Chris Osgood made a “mastodonic glove grab,” which is a phrase we still have not interpreted. Later on in the month, Datsyuk and Lidstrom were handed quasi-suspensions for electing not to fly to Montreal and shake hands with rich people. During his suspension, Datsyuk gave this now classic interview that accounts for half of the title of this blog. The Wings lost that game, which was incredibly disappointing to me because I really wanted them to skate defiantly to victory despite being wrongfully deprived of two of their superstars. With heroic background music and soaring banners to boot. None of this happened.

February

Andreas Lilja got into a fight and busted a vein in his head. He hasn’t played a game since. I’m all for fighting, but I could’ve done without that one.

March

What happened in March? Nothing ever happens in March. Why does this month even exist?

April

The Wings swept the Blue Jackets in the first round of the playoffs, thus ending Columbus' first ever post-season appearance. Chris Osgood suddenly awoke from his regular season slumber and surprised more than a few of us.

May

(No, not Brad.)

Things were looking good in May. The general consensus was that whoever survived the Wings-Ducks series was going to be the eventual Cup winner. Unfortunately, we all know how things worked out in the end. We did, however, get to witness the Goal that Wasn’t, which left my brother and me screaming and chucking dog toys at the floor of our family room in the middle of the night. After the first of the two Game 7s we had to endure, the Wings faced Chicago. I attended my first ever playoff game, thus checking that off of my life list. The Hawks made fools of themselves at some point, Johan Franzen stole Patrick Kane's mouthguard, and Niklas Kronwall annihilated Martin Havlat. Oh, and I found this humble little corner of the internet where I could spew my random ranting and raving.

June

(That's the Summer Solstice for those of you who failed astronomy class.)

I think it’s best if we just pretend that June never happened.

July

Free agency and the destructive forces of the salary cap finally arrived on our doorsteps as Marian Hossa, Tomas Kopecky, Mikael Samuelsson, and Jiri Hudler skated away with approximately 792 goals. Hudler left for Russia and the NHL decided to use his case to take a stand against the KHL. This left the Wings in limbo until the situation was resolved…and all of the desirable free agents were off the market. Oh, and Ken Holland re-signed some dude named Ville Leino. He must be having work visa issues or something because I still haven't noticed him on the ice.

August

(Why is there a cake, you ask? Well, my birthday is clearly the only important August occurrence.)

Kenny Holland was finally able to venture into the free agent market and landed Patrick Eaves, Jason Williams, and Todd Bertuzzi. I was happy about exactly one of those signings. I spent a great deal of time bored out of my mind, and counting down the days until hockey season started up again.

September

September means training camp, one of the most exciting times of the year for hockey fans (you know, after the playoffs, and the playoff races, and the actual start of the regular season, and...well, I was excited about it). There was the promise of a new season filled with angry Wings out to avenge their heart-breaking loss in Game 7 of the Finals. Instead, Henrik Zetterberg, Dan Cleary, Todd Bertuzzi, and Darren Helm (Am I missing anyone here? These are all starting to blur together.) sat out the majority of training camp and the pre-season with various injuries, thus signifying the beginning of the injury epidemic that continues to plague the Wings.

October

October brought with it the always-exciting return of real, meaningful hockey games. The Wings opened the season in Sweden and came back with exactly zero points. It was epic. Johan Franzen busted his knee, which effectively eliminated him from the majority of the NHL season as well as the Olympics. The news of that injury broke on my brother’s birthday (the one with the mancrush on Franzen), thus ruining the entire age of 19 for him. Other people got hurt, the Wings continued to struggle, and the citizens of Hockeytown began to collectively pull their hair out.

November

Jason Williams’ leg snapped in a way that made even the most steely among us shudder. Steve Yzerman fulfilled his destiny by being inducted into the Hall of Fame. The Wings scored 19 goals over a span of 3 games and we thought that all was right with the world. We even got our first taste of the long-awaited free Arby’s. Dennis LaRue intended to blow his whistle and we were subsequently accused of wearing tin foil hats. Niklas Kronwall joined the legion of injured Wings after a dirty knee-on-knee hit from Georges Laraque. The Wings also went approximately ten years between goals at one point. Oh, and I kind of got to meet Stevie Y at the Joe. So that was nice.

December

The Wings continued to struggle offensively (except for Todd Bertuzzi...more on that later) and got shut out at least 97 times during the month. They also continued my favorite 2009 trend (injuries) as they lost Dan Cleary, Jonathan Ericsson, and Henrik Zetterberg to various ailments. We fans started a podcast and launched a campaign to bring Guilherme to Hockeytown to see a game. We also photoshopped hair onto Brian Rafalski’s head (please reference the podcast). I lost touch with hockey for a week while I was on vacation, and am still pretending that the two losses and Zetterberg’s injury that occurred in my absence didn’t happen. Valtteri Filppula made his long-awaited return to the lineup right after Christmas, and Todd Bertuzzi went on a scoring tear that has just about everyone jumping on his bandwagon. No really, he's the only Wing to have scored in the last four games. Ville Leino accomplished the seemingly impossible feat of playing himself right out of the injury-riddled lineup. You know the hair pulling that started in October? Well, all of Hockeytown is now completely bald (Or is that just me?)--from the stress, not in homage to Rafalski. Our hopes have changed from wanting to see the boys win games to just praying for them to score a single goal. The Wings are limping toward the New Year, and we're looking at the promise of returning players in January as the light at the end of the tunnel of this less-than-stellar year in Hockeytown.