Red Wings vs. Stars GP...

Red Wings: 37-17-6

Stars: 31-23-6

Red Wing Zen:

Chris Osgood

5-3-2, .903 SV%, 2.77 GAA

Point and Laugh:

Jason Williams (Who?)

0-1-1, +/- 0, 0 PIM

Unofficial NHL Awards for 2009-2010...

Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for my mock NHL awards. This tradition started several years ago and was originally based off of the mock awards that were voted on in high school. Over the years, they’ve evolved quite a bit and fake trophies come and go every season. The real NHL awards show doesn't take place until tomorrow night, but it's never too early to get into the spirit.

The Dr. Rahmani Award (comes with a free lasik procedure) goes to Dennis LaRue. When I saw the Brad May no-goal on TV, I really thought I’d seen the most obnoxiously bad call ever. Of course, then Jim Joyce came along and had to one-up him right in front of my eyes, but since these are NHL fake awards, it goes to LaRue.

The Hatfield-McCoy Enemies Award goes to Wings fans and referees. No season in recent memory has been plagued by more obnoxiously bad calls. Call us tin foil hat wearers all you want, but there were a boatload of legitimate complaints this season. The bad officiating was rampant throughout the league, but plays like the May goal, the shootout winner against Dallas, and the better part of the San Jose series only served to reinforce the notion.

The Golden Pretzel Award for Epic Choking goes to the Boston Bruins. They had a 3-game series lead and a 3-goal lead in Game Seven and still managed to lose. Seriously?

The Class Couple Award goes to Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. Previous winners include Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby. In fact, it should really be re-named after them, what with all of the discussion of renaming the real NHL awards to honor more modern players. It's fairly obvious why the commish and his Little Buddy won, so I won't go into depth. (Yes, I did just copy/paste this from last year’s awards post.)

The List Award (as in, "You're on my list.") is awarded to Shane Doan. I honestly never had an issue with Doan until the Wings faced Phoenix in the first round. He very quickly made his way onto my list where he shall remain forever.

The Chosen Ones Award goes to the Chicago Blackhawks. Their Cup victory was everything the NHL could’ve dreamed of. They got there thanks to young stars they obtained by tanking for a long time and using high draft picks to make no-brainer selections. They’re a huge media market, and their stars are young, North American, and marketable. If it couldn’t be Pittsburgh…

The first annual Eavesed Award goes to (shockingly) Patrick Eaves for his hilarious contribution to the H2H festivities. We’ll be laughing about that one for years to come. (Stick tap to Jenn for this one.)

The Mr. Invisible Award goes to Jason Williams (Who?). I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I follow hockey pretty closely. Despite the amount of time I spend obsessing over the Wings, I always managed to find a way to forget about Williams. I know I wasn’t alone. Even when he was getting ready to come back from injury, the reporters included his progress as an afterthought several days later. Poor Willy. (Stick tap to Amanda for this one.)

The Goalie in A Past Life Award goes to Brad Stuart. How many goal line saves did he make this season? It seemed like every couple of games, he was knocking a puck out of the crease after it had gotten by the goalie.

The Master Thespian Award goes to the entire San Jose Sharks lineup for managing to make even professional soccer players shake their heads in disgust at their flopping. (Stick tap to Rob for this one.)

The Face Only A Mother Could Love Award goes to Shane Doan. His goal celebration in the first round inspired the awesome #Doanface photoshops. This could just as easily have gone to Crosby's Olympic celebration, but since that one wasn't actually from the NHL, Doan won out.

The Team MVP Award goes to Pavel Datsyuk for accumulating the most Cookies and Cupcakes throughout the season. He finished in first place with 11 sets of baked goods. Jimmy Howard finished just behind him with 10 awards. Hank and Homer tied for third with six each. Everyone who spent significant time on the roster managed to snag the goodies at least once except for Abdelkader, Draper, Maltby, May, Williams, Ericsson, Kronwall, Lebda, Lilja, and Meech.

The Team Scapegoat Award (maybe not an award, actually…) goes to Todd Bertuzzi. He managed to rack up eleven Golden Facepalms throughout the season. Big Rig was a distant second with six of them. Rafalski came in third with 5 Facepalms. The only major players to not get a Facepalm at least once were Draper, Franzen, Maltby, and May.

Thoughts for other awards or nominees?

Red Wings vs. Sharks Game Four GP...

12. I’ll start with the obvious: The Wings need to find a way to win this game.
11. Mattias Ritola is making his playoff debut in place of the injured Patrick Eaves and useless Jason Williams (Who?). This is exciting and terrifying all at once. How is that going to work out for the Wings?
10. The Datsyuk line can’t afford to get taken advantage of defensively like they were on Tuesday. That was just ugly.
9. Powerplays have been few and far between this series, but the Wings haven’t done a good enough job capitalizing on them when they do come their way. Special teams have been crucial in every single game all playoffs long.
8. Jimmy needs to settle down and stop trying to do too much. People have been criticizing him, but they’re forgetting that he’s a rookie. It just feels like he's been trying to win the games by himself, and his being too aggressive has led to some goals. Just make the saves as they come, and let the team play defense in front of you, Jimmy.
7. Again, STAY OUT OF THE BOX!!!
6. Capitalize on mistakes when San Jose makes them. It seems like they’ve found a way to put the puck in the net every time the Wings make a mistake. The Wings need to turn the tables if they want to have a shot at crawling out of the hole they’ve dug for themselves.
5. This is the equivalent of a Game Seven. Start strong. Finish strong. (And, you know, don’t forget about the middle of the game either...)
4. Win faceoffs. It makes it a heck of a lot easier to play the puck possession game we know and love.
3. Andreas Lilja is back in the lineup on defense. Here’s hoping he can settle Ericsson down.
2. Zetterberg really stepped up his game on Tuesday. He and his line need to keep carrying the play to the Sharks’ top players.
1. Keep testing Nabokov. He hasn’t looked nearly as spectacular as a 3-0 series lead would indicate.

The Wings can still do this. The Sharks said it themselves: if any team can crawl out of a 3-0 hole, it’s the Wings. That being said, the version of the Wings we’ve seen for most of the playoffs won’t be able to do it. The post-Olympic streak Wings? If they start showing up, there’s a slim possibility. The NHL’s playoff slogan is “History will be made” after all. I hope for the sakes of all of the #redwingscommune members in attendance tonight that they don’t have to see a handshake line.

Red Wings 3, Sharks 4 (OT) (0-3): Post Game Snipes...

• I went down to the #tinfoilflashmob with every intention of dancing with the crowd and then heading back to Hockeytown to watch the game with the Commune. Instead, an incredibly generous and as yet anonymous member of the flash mob provided me with an extra ticket for free. I started out in the second to last row of the upper bowl, right in front of the press box. By the first intermission, Sara had located a seat near her in the second row of the lower bowl and I headed down there. Halfway through the third period, the people in the seats next to her and TPL Mom left, so I scooted down into the front row. It was quite an upgrade. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful Red Wings fans.
• Why was Brett Lebda in the lineup? Even better question: why was he ever out on the ice with Jonathan Ericsson?
• You know why I love Detroit fans? From the back of the upper bowl, we saw San Jose commit a hand pass in the offensive zone and all started screaming in unison. I challenge you to find that kind of detailed hockey smarts in Phoenix or Nashville.
• I literally spent most of the game hunched forward, clutching my rally rag like a security blanket. I occasionally put on the tin foil hat that was smuggled into the Joe for me. Why do I even bother going out in public?
• If I’m not mistaken, I have now witnessed five goal reviews in the last four games I’ve attended at the Joe. Zetterberg’s was the first that’s gone against the Wings.
• I made it on the big screen at least three times. This has been a lifelong goal of mine that I finally realized last night.
• How was Pavel Datsyuk’s line that bad defensively last night? Pav should never be -2.
• Oh Jimmy, you broke my heart last night. The Wings needed more from him. I understand that he’s a rookie, but he should want some of those goals back.
• Zetterberg scored his goal right in front of me. If there hadn’t been glass in between us, I could’ve reached out and touched him. I even caught it on film (in pixels?):
  

GP Review:
12. STAY OUT OF THE BOX!!! Even if it means playing no-contact girly hockey.
Six penalties is still way too many for this team to take. It wasn’t nearly as ridiculous as it has been, but the really killer things were the non-calls that should’ve gone the Wings’ way. I don’t know how much of it was on camera on the broadcast, but missed trips, high sticks, cross-checks, and holdings had us reaching for our smuggled in tin foil hats more than once.

11. The Wings need to start better. The beginning of Game Two was a disaster wrapped in a blanket of nightmares.
The first period was actually pretty good. The Wings were all set to head to intermission with a two-goal lead until San Jose got on the board with literally two seconds left in the period.

10. I want to see more production from the second line. If I’m not mistaken, the Zetterberg unit hasn’t tallied a point yet this series.
Early on, I had Z tagged for a goal. It was one of those things where you could just tell by the way he was skating. I was more than a little excited that he was standing within an arm’s reach of me when he scored his goal (that counted).

9. Somebody needs to shut down Pavelski. He’s scored half of San Jose’s goals so far this series.
He still picked up an assist, but the Wings did managed to prevent him from putting the puck in the net himself.

8. On the off chance that the Wings get any powerplays, they need to make them count. Special teams have been make or break all playoffs.
One of their powerplays only lasted seven seconds. The other was unsuccessful. If you look me in the eye and tell me that the Sharks only committed two penalties all night (plus the one that led to the penalty shot), I’ll call you a liar. Go ahead. Try it.

7. San Jose has had too much success at getting traffic to the front of the net. The Wings need to adjust their game and keep them to the perimeter.
No, no, no, no, no. This needs to happen.

6. Home sweet home: They’re back at the Joe where the Hockeytown faithful will be out en masse. Take advantage of the love from the crowd.
They did start strongly, but faded toward the end. By the beginning of overtime, you could feel a sense of dread in the building. People were still chanting and cheering, but I don’t think there was a lot of optimism.

5. What ridiculousness will have you reaching for your tin foil hat tonight?
The tin foil hats themselves were banned, which is awesome for fans of irony. The goal reviews in and of themselves were enough to be diving for the safety of a tin foil hat.

4. Would it kill somebody to win a faceoff here and there?
Abdelkader was actually the only one who lost more faceoffs than he won for the Wings. Somehow, it still seemed like they never won one. Maybe they just kept losing the really important ones.

3. The Wings haven’t done a particularly good job entering the Sharks’ zone. They’re losing too many rushes at the blue line.
Case in point: the overtime winner.

2. Jason Williams (Who?) is in the lineup again in place of Patrick Eaves. What are the chances that he does something useful this time around?
Do not get me started. I’ve gone from general indifference and honestly forgetting about him at several points this season to a strong dislike.

1. The Wings have made a habit of playing best when their backs are against the wall. I know they’re not facing elimination tonight, but they absolutely can’t afford to go down by three games. They can still pull this out if they play like the Wings team we saw in Game Seven. Make it happen, boys.
Well, so much for my pep talk...

Hero: Henrik Zetterberg
He was the best player on the ice for the Wings. That was most definitely Playoff Zetterberg last night.

Villain: Jason Williams (Who?)
During the final two periods, he shot no less than two pucks directly at my face. I’m convinced that he stumbled across SSDD and saw my gentle mocking and wanted to put another puck through the glass and my head. Oh, and his 49-foot wide slapshot in overtime led to San Jose’s break the other way and their goal. We miss you, Patrick Eaves.

Final Thought:
I’m trying to cling to optimism, but it’s not working very well. I really did have a great time at the pre-game festivities and during the game though.

Red Wings vs. Sharks Game Three GP...

12. STAY OUT OF THE BOX!!! Even if it means playing no-contact girly hockey.
11. The Wings need to start better. The beginning of Game Two was a disaster wrapped in a blanket of nightmares.
10. I want to see more production from the second line. If I’m not mistaken, the Zetterberg unit hasn’t tallied a point yet this series.
9. Somebody needs to shut down Pavelski. He’s scored half of San Jose’s goals so far this series.
8. On the off chance that the Wings get any powerplays, they need to make them count. Special teams have been make or break all playoffs.
7. San Jose has had too much success at getting traffic to the front of the net. The Wings need to adjust their game and keep them to the perimeter.
6. Home sweet home: They’re back at the Joe where the Hockeytown faithful will be out en masse. Take advantage of the love from the crowd.
5. What ridiculousness will have you reaching for your tin foil hat tonight?
4. Would it kill somebody to win a faceoff here and there?
3. The Wings haven’t done a particularly good job entering the Sharks’ zone. They’re losing too many rushes at the blue line.
2. Jason Williams (Who?) is in the lineup again in place of Patrick Eaves. What are the chances that he does something useful this time around?
1. The Wings have made a habit of playing best when their backs are against the wall. I know they’re not facing elimination tonight, but they absolutely can’t afford to go down by three games. They can still pull this out if they play like the Wings team we saw in Game Seven. Make it happen, boys.

Red Wings 3, Sharks 4 (0-2): Post Game Snipes...

• This game was a joke. There’s nothing more to it. There are days when I can’t stand the NHL. This is most certainly one of them. And yet, for some reason, I keep coming back time and time again.
• That first shift was horrifying. We were absolutely shocked that the Sharks didn’t score there.
• For the last, you know, decade or so, haven’t the Wings been pretty good at winning faceoffs? Because I’m really curious about what happened to their ability to do so all of a sudden. I’ve never had to worry about this before.
• There were several occasions when we were screaming at the TV because Versus was zoomed in too close. We were inches away from missing one of the Wings’ goals because the net wasn’t in the frame, even though they were cycling in the zone. Honestly, the kids in the video production class who used to run the school announcements when I was in high school could put together a better broadcast. ZOOM OUT. We wanted to start a Twitter campaign to that effect. Thank goodness we get FSD back on Tuesday.
• As soon as Nick Lidstrom’s stick broke in the third period, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that San Jose was about to score. It was just one of those moments that was too perfect. You could see it coming, but there was nothing you could do about it. Ditto on the goal on the 5-on-3.
• The third period was one of the most frustrating periods of hockey I’ve ever watched. It began with anger, and ended up with just quiet resignation as I accepted the fact that the Wings were not going to come back to tie the game. The worst part is that the Wings looked just as frustrated and disheartened as I did. By the time it came down to that too many men on the ice call, I wasn’t even annoyed. Normally, I would be all over them for giving up and surrendering, but honestly, how long can you put up a fight against absurdities like the officiating in that game before you give up? It’s hard to blame them for being discouraged when so much as looking at a Shark the wrong way seemed to be enough to earn a trip to the penalty box. I know it’s not something you ever want to see, but it’s understandable.
  

GP Review:
12. Keep testing Nabokov. He looked very beatable on Thursday.
At one point, I’m told that his save percentage was only .667. That’s not even respectable.

11. For the love of god, cover Joe Pavelski. Please.
That man is on fire. He scored two goals again. Where is the Zetterberg-shaped blanket that’s supposed to be draped over him?

10. Can the Wings’ special teams beat San Jose’s? This has been a huge factor so far.
I’m just…I'm going to leave this one alone

9. Franzen finally broke through with a goal in Game One. Here’s hoping that gets him on a roll.
No seriously, earth to Franzen. Earth to Franzen. (Am I the only one whose parents used to say that all the time? Because my dad used to wander around stores looking for my mom while yelling, “Earth to Vic!” It’s unclear whether or not his difficulty in locating her was due to the fact that she was hiding. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone else say that before though.)

8. The Wings need to come out strongly in the first few minutes of the game. They’ve got a chance to catch the Sharks off guard after an extra day of rest at home. This is also contingent on the hope that the Wings aren’t the ones sleep-walking through the opening of the game.
How about that first shift, eh? Multiple heart attack-inducing scoring chances for San Jose, plus a penalty? Let’s just say that’s not exactly what I had in mind.

7. This probably goes without saying, but 90-second mental lapses like the one we saw in the first period Thursday can be killer. Avoiding incidents like that one will go a long way toward assuring that the Wings win the game.
Wouldn’t it be nice if that was the only thing we had to complain about today?

6. A win tonight negates San Jose’s home ice advantage. Make it happen, please.
They’re now down 2-0 in the series. It’s not impossible to come back from that, but my hopes aren’t high.

5. Don’t forget your tin foil hats.
Boy did we ever need them last night. This is the perfect opportunity to announce that we are coordinating a flash mob that will meet on the steps at the Gordie Howe entrance to the Joe at 6:45 on Tuesday before Game Three. We’ll be dancing with our tin foil hats. All info can be found here. Please do join us, and bring a friend (or 7).

4. Jimmy probably wants a couple of those goals back from Thursday, even though I really can’t fault him for much. Hopefully he’ll come out with a point to prove.
Again, not Jimmy’s fault. He even survived getting run by Brad Stuart twice (I count the time he checked Day Heatley into Jimmy as one.)

3. The Wings need to find a way to get traffic through the center of the ice when in the attacking zone. The Sharks were way too good at keeping them to the perimeter in Game One.
They spent way too much time defending and not nearly enough time attacking. Part of that is because of the excessive amount of penalties they had to kill, and part of that is lack of puck control. Both of those things need to get better.

2. The fourth line looked great on Thursday. Can they keep it up?
Did they even make it out on the ice? The Wings spent so much time on the PK, I'm not sure they even got to play last night.

1. Patrick Eaves is day-to-day with an arm injury. How effective is he going to be if he’s in the lineup?
He wasn’t able to go, and instead we got treated to Jason Williams (Who?). I think the Wings missed Eaves on the PK, and they sure could’ve used another penalty killer in the lineup to spread the minutes around. Please, please be okay for Game Three.

Hero: Pavel Datsyuk
His goal was magnificent. When he scored, I really had a good feeling about the evening. I though things were going to be okay. I had no idea what was about to transpire.

Villain: The referees
I know Brad Watson was one of them, but I’m not willing to put in the effort to look up the other guy’s name. This game was an embarrassment. It was worse than Game One, which is actually kind of an accomplishment. It’s like the refs are caught in some kind of sick game of one-upsmanship (Yes, I just invented that word.) to see who can call a more miserable game. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask to let the players decide the outcome of the game. And yes, I realize that the Heatley goalie interference call was a joke, but as others have said, one bad call doesn’t even out a handful against the Wings.

Final Thought:
I truly, honestly hate the NHL. And Versus. It’s a testament to the extent to which we are all addicted to hockey that we keep coming back night in and night out.

Contest of Insanity Results...

Good news, sushines. I’ve finally gotten around to sitting down with my mom so she could judge the Contest of Insanity. She selected this entry, by Rob from Etched in Cold:


I’m told that her selection was based on the fact that it was the only one that made her laugh. Those subtitles are killer. Rob’s the lucky recipient of an autographed picture of Joey Kocur and the opportunity to pose a question for me to devote an entry to, in addition to all the fame and glory that accompany being the first ever SSDD contest winner.

This one, from international superstar Herm, was her second favorite entry:


For the record, she said that this one would’ve won if it hadn’t had the “The” out front. And people wonder why I turned out to be such a perfectionist…

Anyway, I loved all of the entries and I had a good time trying to explain some of the inside jokes to my mom. These were two of my favorites, both by Jenn:



These two get the special (and recently invented) Blogger's Choice Award, so Jenn can also submit a topic for me to write about. This has been a lot of fun, and hopefully if I decide to run contests in the future, it won't take me six years to get around to judging them. Please do check out all of the contest entries in the comments section of the original post. The routine of Ctrl-C, T, V, and Enter will be your friend.

Red Wings Stats and Trivia Geekfest...

I’ve never been much of a stat-head before. I think people tend to put too much stock in them a lot of times. I am, however, absolutely enthralled with the game notes packet I got when I was covering the suite event on Tuesday (and that Drew was kind enough to leave for me). I know it’s a little weird, but it is what it is. These were current at the start of the Edmonton game, so the numbers may have changed a little bit, and I’ve updated things like their record and points. I’m not messing with the percentages and decimals and things like that, though.

• In one-goal games, including the one against Edmonton, the Wings are an impressive 19-6-13 (Well, not so much the 13, but you get the idea.). Being able to win tight games like that is going to serve them well down the road. They don’t fare quite as well in two- and three-goal games (10-7 and 11-10 respectively).
• The Wings have a 22-29 record all time in the shootout. That’s one that I will never understand.
• This season, the Wings are 25-14-7 when outshooting their opponent. They’re also 13-7-6 when being outshot. I know at least a couple of those 13 wins that were Jimmy specials.
• They have almost identical records against the divisions in the Western Conference: 10-6-3 in the Central, 10-6-4 in the Pacific, and 11-6-3 in the Northwest. That’s consistency.
• This is one of my favorite breakdowns: March was their best month by far with 25 points. Next was November (Remember when we all thought that would be the turning point of the season?) with 17 points. December and January each brought 16 points (Side note: Edmonton didn’t have a single win in January. Ouch.). They only got 13 points in October. They picked up 6 points in February, but that was the Olympic Break so it doesn’t really count. I guess it’s good that they’re peaking at the right time.
• The boys have scored 62 first period goals, 70 second period goals, and 71 third period goals. In contrast, opponents have scored 59 first period goals, 67 second period goals, and 62 third period goals. (This one was updated to include the Edmonton game.)
• The Wings had outshot opponents 827-695 in the third period prior to the Edmonton game. The other period breakdowns aren’t that interesting. I like the third period shot differential though.
• The Wings rank second in the NHL in terms of penalties taken.
• The boys have been outscored 5 on 5 this season 130-140 (updated to include Edmonton). They’ve also been outscored 6-7 4 on 4. They’ve also scored ten empty net goals.
• Z is only 2 for 11 in the shootout. Even Jason Williams (Who?) is 3 for 8.
• Nik Kronwall leads the team in shorthanded points with four. Darren Helm leads them in shorthanded goals with three.
• As of Tuesday, the Wings had lost 300 man games to injury this season. Edmonton, in contrast had lost 464. That divides out to more than 5.5 whole seasons for the Oilers. Ouch.
• Jimmy Howard’s starting streak is the longest for a Detroit goalie since Tim Cheveldae started 29 in a row in ’91-’92.
• Prior to the Edmonton game, the penalty kill had been clicking at a rate of 94%. They’d killed off 63 of 67 penalties in that span. In the previous twelve games, they’d killed off 33 of 34 penalties for a rate of 97%. Where were those numbers during the playoffs last year?
• Datsyuk has had the team’s longest point streak this season. It lasted six games from February 13th to March 9th.
• Homer had the team’s last hat trick on the road in February of ’07 against Nashville.
• Brendan Shanahan was the last Wing to have a four-goal game in March of ’01 against Calgary.
• Sergei Fedorov was the last Wing to have a five-goal game the day after Christmas in ’96. That event was near and dear to my heart because I’d unwrapped a spiffy new #91 jersey the day before and was wearing it as I sat on the floor and watched that game. It was my first moment of belief in the Hockey Gods, as I was sure that he was scoring all of those goals for me. Little did I know that just a short while later he would fall from my favor. No Red Wing has ever had a five-goal game on the road.
• Valtteri Filppula has taken the team’s last home and last road penalty shots. He scored in December ’07 at the Joe, but missed this past October in Buffalo.
• Kirk Maltby is the last Wing to have scored two shorthanded goals in a road game. He did it against San Jose all the way back in October of ’02.
• The Wings are ranked 2nd in the NHL in shots on goal per game, averaging 33.3.
  

And now for the fun player facts:

• Chris Osgood likes the Black Eyed Peas. He’s got some pretty questionable taste in music.
• Dan Cleary, on the other hand, likes The Killers, which I can at least respect.
• Derek Meech idolized Steve Yzerman growing up.
• This one is one of my favorites: Patrick Eaves lists Five Guys Cheeseburgers as his favorite food. I would have to agree with him that they’re quite delicious.
• Kirk Maltby likes Metallica. Bring on the jokes.
• Jason Williams (Who?) and Brett Lebda both list sushi as their favorite food. Ew.
• Lebda’s idea golf foursome would include Tiger Woods, Megan Fox, and Robin Williams. Go ahead and make your jokes now.
• Kris Draper’s favorite food is steak with mashed potatoes and broccoli. Now that’s a meal I could enjoy. Not only are we name twins, but we’re apparently food soulmates as well. Mmmm steak and potatoes…
• Henrik Zetterberg’s favorite sport other than hockey is kite surfing. He also likes steak and Bob Dylan. I’m not 100% sure what kite surfing is, but I can definitely get behind the steak and Dylan.
• Darren Helm’s ideal golf foursome would be Tiger Woods, Shaq, and Mike Myers. That’s quite an eclectic group.
• Todd Bertuzzi’s favorite musical artist is James Taylor, which I find surprising (assuming I’m thinking of the right James Taylor).
• Nik Kronwall’s hockey superstition is that he always puts his skates on in the same order. This amused both Drew and me because, well, there are really only two options for the order in which one puts on skates or shoes.

Red Wings 2, Flames 1: Post Game Snipes...

• The Wings didn’t exactly come flying out of the gate last night, but they buckled down when things mattered the most and managed to squeak out an important win.
• I really can’t stress enough how important it was to win that game.
• Kirk Maltby did a good job in his audition for a post-career broadcasting gig. I also thought it was cute that Homer asked about him in his post-game interview.
• The name Nigel Dawes never fails to make me snicker. I should grow up.
• What got into Drew Miller? He had his best game in a while and had a bunch of great chances. He didn’t quite finish any of them, and I was shocked that ‘snakebit’ wasn’t used to describe him on the broadcast. This was good because it should really be ‘snake-bitten’ and that bothers me.
• I was terrified on that penalty shot. However, since Jimmy Howard made the save, it ended out working out pretty well for the Wings. They got to keep their powerplay and went on to do good things with that. I really thought Jason Williams (Who?) was the one who got called for the penalty shot, but according to the box score, it was actually Zetterberg. (UPDATE 3/16/10 8:31 PM: I finally got to watch the replay just now, and it was clearly Williams. I'm not sure what the deal with the box score saying it was Zetterberg is. He wasn't anywhere near it. I still say it was a weak penalty shot call, though.)
  
• I still haven’t figured out what Z was doing on that play when Z made the turnover that led to the breakaway that led to the penalty shot.
• Datsyuk’s goal came courtesy of a classic Holmstrom screen. It was sheer beauty.
• When Brian Rafalski took that four-minute penalty in the third, I thought in my head that whoever was successful during that penalty would win the game. If Calgary scored, they’d go on to win, but if the Wings killed it off they’d end up on top. Of course, I didn’t dare say that out loud and I quickly banished those thoughts. Luckily, I turned out to be correct.
• Holmstrom’s goal was on a classic deflection right in front of the net. He was in picturesque form last night.
• Don’t overlook the play Brad Stuart made to keep the puck in the zone right before Franzen took the shot that was deflected in. Without that, the goal doesn’t happen.
• It had to be disheartening for the Flames to give up a goal in the final minute of the second period, and then the winner with less than two minutes to go in the game. I mean, I don’t really care, but having watched the Wings do that numerous times this season, I can empathize.
• Winning this game means that Calgary doesn’t win the season series, which is one of the tiebreakers should they find themselves deadlocked with Calgary for 8th place at the end of the season. Of course, if the Wings would just buckle down and play hockey like they have been over the last week, I don’t think we’ll have to be agonizing about trying to understand the tiebreakers at the end of the season.
• I was really amused by how excited everyone on Twitter was about that shot that Jimmy didn’t give up a rebound on near the end of the game. Still, it was vacuum-like.
• I wasn’t particularly happy with the fact that Zetterberg lost two straight defensive zone faceoffs during the final seconds of the game. Obviously, nothing bad happened, but those have to be won.
• The Wings now find themselves an exciting three points above Calgary in the standings and only one point behind Nashville for 7th place. They’re in a position where they can’t be passed during their three day mini-break on the west coast (Seriously, three days off and then back-to-back games? On the weekend I’m going out of town? I’m going to go a whole week without watching a game, which is sad for me.) How much more anxious would we all be if we had to sit idly by during the next three days knowing that the Wings were out of the playoffs again and other teams were pulling away? By the time the weekend rolls around, the Wings will still be in 8th place and have at least a game in hand on both of the teams they’re battling with for the last two slots. What a relief.
  

GP Answer:
1. Those games we enjoyed so much against the Wild and Sabres aren’t going to mean a whole lot if the Wings can’t pull this one off tomorrow. There’s only one question today: will they show up? This season, the Wings have had a stunning inability to rise to the occasion when these big games come up. Let’s hope that that trend reverses itself against the Flames. The big guns are going to have to show up, and the role players are going to have to bring their best game. Losing this one’s not an option.
Their start wasn't particularly impressive, but they pulled off the win, and did it in regulation. You can't ask for more than that, I guess.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Tomas Holmstrom
Homer was doing that thing that he does all night long. I often wonder if the other 29 teams in the league keep a psychologist on staff to help their goalies recover after games against the Wings and Holmstrom’s rear end. It can’t be fun for them. I, on the other hand, love nothing more than geeking out over another superb Holmstrom deflection or screen.

Andreas Lilja gets the Golden Facepalm
That turnover on Calgary’s goal can’t happen.

Henrik Zetterberg gets a Secondary Facepalm
This is twice in one week, I think. I’m kind of shocked, that I’m even doing this. Still, that turnover, the penalty shot, and those key faceoff losses at the end of the game just don’t paint a pretty picture.

What I Learned:
NHL anagrams are fun. Try them. You won’t regret it. Brad Stuart’s is Absurd Tart, just for reference. You also might find out that your little sister’s is hilarious and be able to torment her with it.

Red Wings 3, Sabres 2 (OT): Post Game Snipes...

• The first ten minutes of the game looked like a continuation of the Minnesota game. The Wings were in vintage form, and I was as thrilled as can be. Then, oddly enough, the Wings started to sit back and allowed the Sabres back into the game.
• Pavel Datsyuk’s goal was from an incredible angle. I have no idea how he managed to put it in the net from that close to the goal line, with a defenseman in the way.
• Eaves’ goal was the result of straight up hard work. I liked it a lot.
• I skimmed through the last few minutes of the first period because my new housemate who’s moving in tomorrow showed up and we were chatting. I don’t regret anything.
• They managed to play the start of ‘Piano Man’ right at 9 o’clock. I was really amused. If I was in charge of the audio at the Joe, I know that I’d be hoping that there was a stoppage in play right at nine so that I could play it right on the dot. It’s the little things in life that amuse me.
• I really don’t like seeing Jason Williams (Who?) and Todd Bertuzzi on the ice together. It just seems like a bad idea.
• It turns out that the Sabres' tying goal came on a play that should've been blown dead because the puck hit the netting. I had no idea until that information found its way to Twitter via the Salers. FSD pointed it out later during intermission. Based on history and karma, we should expect the Wings to play the Sabres again this time next year and score a goal on an eerily similar play off the netting. At least that's what happened when San Jose was the beneficiary of a missed call like that two seasons ago, only to see the Wings get retribution almost exactly one year later on a bounce like that. See folks, this is why we believe in the Hockey Gods.
  
• The Sabres rang a shot off the post late in the third period that I was 100% sure was in the net. I was so sure that I started yelling at my TV for half a second. Luckily, I was wrong.
• That overtime goal was pure Olympic Rafalski. I’m sure Ryan Miller was wishing that they were still on the same side.
• I was a lot happier to see R. Miller give up an OT goal this time around.
• This game brought the Wings dead even in the goals for/against category. That makes me sad.
  
• All in all, I’d say that this was a pretty typical ’09-’10 Wings game.
  

GP Answers:
1. Miller vs. Miller tonight. I can’t tell you what I’d give to get a chance to take on one of my siblings in an arena like this. Which one will prevail?
Drew wins! Sure he didn’t score on his brother, but I have a feeling he’d rather have these two points in the standings.

2. The powerplay’s suddenly caught fire since Johan Franzen returned. Can it keep going after a having such a rocky first part of the season?
How nice is it that the Wings have a powerplay again? They’ve got a nine-game conversion streak going on right now. In those nine games, they’re 6-2-1. I guess that’s what a real, live powerplay does for a team, eh?

3. Zetterberg had one of his best games of the season on Thursday after having his line shuffled. Can that success continue?
He wasn’t nearly at the level we saw on Thursday, but he was definitely more visible than he’s been in the recent past.

4. The game against the Wild was remarkable in the sense that the Wings displayed a level of effort and commitment to win that has been lacking this season. What are the odds that we get to see a game like that twice in a row? If they play like that again tonight, I might have to call this the start of a trend. By itself, though, the Wild game doesn’t mean a whole lot.
During the fist ten minutes of the game, it looked like we were seeing the same team that dominated the Wild. Then they went and let up. Still though, they’re looking like a team that can go places right now.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Brian Rafalski
You score an overtime goal and you get the baked goods. That’s the way things go.

Jimmy Howard’s rebound control gets the Golden Facepalm
Rebounds led to both goals. This continues to make me nervous.

What I Learned:
Drew Miller and Ryan Miller are brothers. Wowzers!!!

Red Wings 5, Blackhawks 4: Post Game Snipes...

• This game didn’t get off to a particularly impressive start, but it sure got fun during the second period. Anyone know when the last time the Wings scored five goals in a period was?
• Of course the Wings couldn’t just coast to an easy victory by protecting their three-goal lead. They had to make things interesting by letting the Hawks back into the game. I’m sure NBC was thrilled because it was close at the end, but c’mon guys, get things together.
• The Wings managed to bring themselves within a point of Nashville with that win today. We all need to buckle down and root for Vancouver to win tonight. The Preds can’t be comfortable looking over their shoulders and seeing the Wings coming up behind them.
• Don’t look now, but the boys have won four of their last five games.
• Games like these always leave me looking forward to the next game more than usual. That game just happens to be against the Flames, who are only one point behind the Wings thanks to a win against Minnesota today.
• Bertuzzi left the game with what Babcock is now calling a charley horse. Let’s hope it’s nothing more (even though I was relieved to see that it was just Bertuzzi who was hurt…not someone more important).
• How refreshing was it to see a huge momentum swing from a questionable no-goal call go in the Wings’ favor for a change? Shortly afterward, the Wings started to take control of the game and things got a lot more enjoyable.
• I still can’t stand the calls when the refs wave off a goal, but don’t call an interference penalty on the play. It’s either interference or it’s not. Make up your mind. That irritation was compounded by the fact that Homer got called for a goalie interference penalty later on that was every bit as questionable.
• My mom and I had a grammar debate about whether it was “waived off” or “waved off.” Finally we consulted dictionary.com and my victory was confirmed. It’s “waved off.”
• Goalies diving makes me angry every time. Even when it’s done by a Wings goalie, I have to roll my eyes. Cowboy up, gentlemen.
• Today’s boxscore is sprinkled with a little bit of everything. There were some point shots from the blueliners, some secondary scoring, and a little bit of dangle dangle from Pavel Datsyuk himself. That’s what I like to see.
• Lilja was featured on the sounds of the game thing that NBC does. I was amused by the fact that he said something to Ladd after checking him and he sounded vaguely Irish. I was also amused by the fact that he says things while shooting.
• I’m pretty sure my favorite moment of the game was when Johan Franzen was mocking one of the Hawks who dove. When they were showing the highlights at the end of the game, I told my brothers that that clip had better be included. Sure enough, as soon as I spoke, they showed it. I grabbed a clip of it with my phone camera, but it’s not very high quality. I have no idea why youtube does weird things to the sound whenever I upload videos.
• I loved how the fact that Datsyuk’s breakaway was also racing against the clock made it that much more exciting. Jason Williams (Who?), Rafalski, Filppula, and Lidstrom also scored during the second.

GP Answers:
1. A game against Chicago on NBC? What more could Wings fans ask for? How much time is Pierre going to spend talking about Sidney Crosby?
After a little while, my dad said, “Wow, they really do talk about that guy a lot.” He finally figured out why I’m always complaining.

2. One of the best things about the Nashville game was the fact that the Wings’ stars were their best players. Can they continue to lead the boys?
Pavel Datsyuk has been incredible since the Olympic break. Zetterberg was less visible, but as NBC pointed out, he doesn’t look 100% health-wise. That makes me nervous.

3. What is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to blow our minds tomorrow?
Oh just a breakaway goal in the final seconds of the second period. It ended up being the game-winner. He was up to his usual slick moves and pick-pocketing all game too. He could seriously give Neal Caffrey a run for his money.

4. We haven’t gotten to see Olympic Rafalski since the break ended. When is that version of the hometown boy going to show up?
We saw flashes of Olympic Rafalski and flashes of regular season Rafalski today. I guess it’s a work in progress.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Pavel Datsyuk
For all of the wonderful things he does.

Valtteri Filppula gets the Golden Facepalm
He pretty much handed Andrew Ladd his first goal of the game. I’m pretty sure that turnover in front of the net came with a bow on top.

What I Learned:
It’s a lot more fun to have goals waved off when they don’t belong to the Wings.

Red Wings 2, Sharks 3 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• Well, Franzen’s making his presence known at least.
• Pavel Datsyuk is a ridiculously good hockey player when he decides to be. But you knew that already.
• I’m not a fan of the CGI glass ads FSD was running. Then again, as someone pointed out on Twitter, they’re much better than ads on the uniforms. I guess I can live with that.
• It always amazes me how much I miss Mickey Redmond when the Wings are on the road.
• At one point during the game, Tomas Holmstrom beat out an icing. I’m pretty sure this was the first time he’s done that in his life. These are strange times we’re living in.
• I had to leave home immediately after San Jose’s first goal. By the time I got the car radio tuned to 97.1, the period was over and the Wings were losing. I promptly retuned to listening to my CD player.
• A linesman got checked into the Wings’ bench. I laughed a lot. Then I rewound my DVR and laughed again. Bless you, technology.
• I made it home just in time to catch the last half of overtime and the shootout. I was pretty excited about that until they went and lost. In related news, I should not be allowed to listen to Red Wing hockey on the radio while driving. Someone’s going to get killed.
• Jason Williams (Who?) scored the Wings’ tying goal during the third period. In accordance with the way the rest of this season has gone, it had to be reviewed. He did, however, fail to score in the shootout, which makes me sad. Will he still be a Red Wing tomorrow evening? We shall see.
• The Wings had a lot of good chances on net. They need to get their finish back. Or something like that.
• I really like it when Holmstrom causes havoc in front of the other team’s net. A lot.
• Nobody on the Wings is particularly good at fighting.
• It’s his second game back, and I still want to hug The Mule every time he’s out on the ice.
• This team should be so much better at the shootout. I do not understand.
• I was pretty pleased with the Wings’ overall play and tempo this game. Other folks have said it, but I’d be okay if they just played San Jose for the rest of the season. I’d sleep a lot more easily.
  

GP Answers:
1. Franzen looked good on Tuesday night. Can he keep that up in his second game back, or it his conditioning going to be a problem after all of the time that he missed?
Remember when Mule first joined the team? I mean really, in all honesty, do you remember anyone being all that excited about him? Who would’ve thought that the Wings would miss him as much as they did. He looked just fine in his second game back. Oh, and he scored a goal too.

2. What percentage of the game will the Wings decide to play tonight? The fact that this needs to be asked on a regular basis is disgusting.
I didn’t really have any issues with the Wings’ effort tonight. if they can just find a way to finish their chances, these kinds of games are going to start getting rewarded.

3. If the Wings win, they’ll move two points ahead of Anaheim and could potentially tie Calgary. If they lose, they’ll slip down to 10th place. Double digits is not a place you want to be this time of the year. Can they pull off a big win?
No, just a consolation point. At least the Wings can’t be passed in the standings tonight thanks to that.

4. Homer’s been announced as a game-time decision. It sounds like he’s only going to be playing as a test for the Olympics. I’m not sure I like that, even though I’d be glad to have him back in the lineup. Will he go tonight? Will he be able to do anything worthwile?
He was up to his usual tricks causing eight kinds of chaos in front of the opposition net. And boy do I love him for it.

5. Are they walking Kronwall’s new knee brace to Detroit? I would’ve volunteered to go pick it up and deliver it myself if I knew it would take this long. It leads me to believe that it’s more than just a case of wanting a new brace. Still though, that man needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times.
This isn’t really a question so… Well, there was one video clip of him walking sans limp, so who knows what’s going on.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Pavel Datsyuk
He was good. This last stretch of games has been his best of the season. He has to keep this going.

Jonathan Ericsson gets the Golden Facepalm
There were all kinds of issues on the Sharks’ second goal, but Big Rig gets most of the blame.

What I Learned:
I was always kind of ambivalent about the shootout. I never really cared too much one way or the other. After this season, though, I’m firmly in the anti-shootout camp. I’d much rather see overtime extended to 10 minutes during the regular season. The shootout takes just as much time, and I’ve seen the Wings involved in a few OTs that were way more exciting than any shootout.

Red Wings 3, Blues 4 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• I was so happy to see Franzen back on the ice that I just wanted to reach through my screen and hug him. But that would’ve made my brother jealous, so I didn’t. I actually clapped each of the first dozen* times I saw him on the ice.
• Brad May got into a fight. Pretty much everyone on Twitter was confused. I was glad I wasn’t alone.
• Todd Bertuzzi took a penalty about three* seconds into the game. The Wings managed to kill it off, but it made me angry.
• Darren McCarty was on Versus again. It made me smile. He looks more comfortable now that he’s got a few shows under his belt.
• My little brother probably shed tears of joy at the sight of The Mule’s stache.
• During the first period, one of the announcers called Jimmy Howard a pitchback. I laughed a lot. It kind of works in an abstract, overly-complex metaphoric way I guess. At the beginning of the season, he was like a brand new pitchback, but by this point, he’s not as bouncy anymore because the bungee cords have been stretched out and deadened from use. I should know. We killed a couple of those things back in the day.
• Draper’s goal also made me laugh. There was something really awesome about how bizarre it was. It looked like he was celebrating before the puck even went into the net. It was like he had a psychic moment there and knew the puck was going in. It was reviewed, and I was terrified that they would rule it a no-goal because I’ve lost any semblance of faith in the review process. They got the call right, though, and the Wings ended the period up 1-0.
• Jimmy Howard had to make approximately 102* saves in the first period. That’s just ridiculous.
• The Wings’ second goal was reviewed too, of course. Nothing can come easy this season. This one was another bounce off of a skate. It was nice to see the Wings actually get a couple of lucky bounces for a change.
• After announcing that the second Wings goal had been upheld by Toronto, the referee started to make the no-goal sign before catching himself and pointing at center ice. My head was this close to exploding.
• There was some sort of delay before the faceoff after the Wings’ tying goal. I was anxiously waiting for them to drop the puck so we could get moving lest Toronto decide to get involved again.
• The Wings looked pathetic for most of the game. I promise you that they didn’t deserve the point that they managed to pick up.
• I dozed off during the second intermission and missed the first eight minutes of the third period. I really don’t think I missed much. The fact that I fell asleep during a Red Wings hockey game says a lot, though.
• Henrik Zetterberg should not be nearly that bad at shootouts. I feel like there has to be a logical explanation for it, but I can’t wrap my head around it and that makes me sad.
• Datsyuk had one shift during overtime when I swear he skated circles around all four Blues like they were cones in a practice drill. He seemingly pulled 462* dekes. It was something else. I wish he would’ve scored then so a) the Wings would’ve won the game and b) it would’ve been one of the sweetest goals I’ve seen in a while. Alas, it was not to be.
• Jimmy Howard made a ridiculous save during OT to keep the Wings in the game. I was 187%* sure that the puck was going in the net when he slid across the crease. I was wrong.
• Jason Williams (Who?) scored the Wings’ lone goal in the shootout. That’s pretty unfortunate for everyone involved.
• I was really impressed with Franzen’s play. More please.
• Fun moments with Versus: During the first intermission, someone said, “speaking of enormous loads…” and the whole panel started giggling. After the game, Darren McCarty was talking about the Wings and he said, “I got four reasons to be a homer.” It was pretty awesome. We’ve all got more than four reasons to love that guy.
• About ten minutes after the game ended, @VersusNHL tweeted this: “Brad Boyers with a crazy deek shoots and scores. Zetterburg up next. game on the line. He misses. St Louis wins the shoot out!” No, I didn’t change the spelling. Or the capitalization. Or the grammar. This was by far the worst, but most of their tweets were horrendous. It looks totally unprofessional. It’s like they hired a kindergartener as an intern to run the Twitter account or something. Boyers? Deek? Zetterburg? Come. On.
• Raise your hand if you think the guys wearing red and white sweaters tonight looked like a playoff team. Thanks to their loser point and the fact that Chicago pulled out a shootout win tonight, the Wings managed to stay a point ahead of Dallas in the playoff race. They're still within striking distance of Nashville and Calgary, which is encouraging. However, it's going to take more than that effort to do anything worthwhile.
  

GP Answers:
1. Obviously, the big story is the long-anticipated return of Johan Franzen. How is he going to look shaking off all those months of rust?
As I said before, I was really impressed with him. He picked up an assist and had several shots. I liked the fact that he was throwing his weight around and checking guys. We’ll see how he holds up in his second game back. That’s when guys tend to fade a little. It was absolutely fantastic to see him back.

2. Can the Wings, for once this season, play a full 60 minutes? No sleepy starts. No collapses. No heartbreaks. Just a full 60 minutes of Red Wing hockey.
I don’t even know why I bother asking things like this any more.

3. How many players are going to go down with injuries? I really wish this one was a joke.
None, as far as I know. I’m not even willing to speculate about that any more, though.

4. I’ve seen a lot of potential line combinations tossed around, but nobody really knows what we’re going to see. There’s a pretty good possibility that Mike Babcock doesn’t even know since so many guys are day-to-day. How is the lineup going to shake out?
Things started clicking when Babcock put Franzen up on the top line with the Eurotwins. Bertuzzi looked totally out of his element tonight. After his few weeks of glory back in December, he’s totally disappeared.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Pavel Datsyuk
He was good. And he deflected in a goal off of his foot that may or may not have been intentional. Either way, it managed to pass a War Room review and pull the Wings within one. I still can’t get over that one shift he had in OT.

An Extra Stick Tap for Johan Franzen
He gave me a reason to smile tonight, when not many other guys were doing anything worthwhile. It’s good to have The Mule back in the lineup.

Todd Bertuzzi gets the Golden Facepalm
You can’t take stupid penalties .06 seconds into the game. The Wings killed that one off, but he took another penalty later in the game, and the Blues scored on the delayed call. While they were putting the puck in the net, Todd was standing around in front of the net daydreaming. Or possibly deciding which of his hostages to eat for dinner. You decide.

What I Learned:
My dog could get a job working for Versus and still represent them better than whoever’s behind their twitter account. She’d probably be the cream of the crop there. Like Air Bud, but with a keyboard.

*This number may or may not have been invented in my head.

January Notes...

1. Tomas Holmstrom broke his foot. In practice. Doing something he’s done after every practice since dinosaurs walked the earth. Just when we thought the Wings were getting healthy.
2. Zetterberg and Cleary returned to the lineup on the same glorious day.
3. Jimmy Howard played the best game we’ve seen from a Red Wings goalie in years against the Kings.
4. The Wings went 6-5-4, which is pretty pathetic.
5. On the other hand, we got to enjoy a couple of mornings when we woke up to find the Wings in a playoff spot. A couple.
6. The Wings went to a shootout approximately 700 times. They won once. Again, pathetic. With shooters like the Eurotwins and Bertuzzi, there’s no excuse for not having a better record in the skills competition.
7. The Wings played their best game of the season against Chicago. It actually looked like they were a real hockey team for a while there.
8. In the Chicago shootout, Datsyuk and Bertuzzi did this. This is why I don’t understand why their record isn’t better in the shootout.
9. We had to endure NBC broadcasts twice. They were awful, not that that surprised anyone.
10. Herm to Hockeytown continued to evolve into the most epic gathering of Wings fans ever. Plans include a live TOV podcast, euchre tournament, and mandatory use of the phrase “Man Pocky.” Oh, and we’re going to watch the game too.
11. Niklas Kronwall returned from his Georges Laraque-induced knee injury.
12. Nick Lidstrom roared back to life offensively and gave hope to all of us Wings fans.
13. We started to debate who would stay in the lineup now that injured guys are returning. This was a new and exciting activity for those of us who had grown tired of debating the goalie controversy.
14. The Wings got screwed in the shootout against Dallas. Again, this is becoming predictable, particularly in games against the Stars.
15. Andreas Lilja finally got rid of his headaches and has a shot at returning to hockey. You can’t help but feel happy for the guy, even if you weren’t a fan of his before he broke his brain.
16. Jason Williams (Who?) came back from breaking his leg ages ago. The video of his injury still makes me cringe.
17. The team continued to baffle everyone with their inability or unwillingness to show up for games or make any meaningful push toward a playoff spot.
18. We’ve been teased with the idea of Johan Franzen returning in early February after a miraculously speedy recovery from his knee surgery.
19. I resorted to anxiously watching scoreboards from other games in hopes that other teams would do the Wings’ dirty work for them. It rarely worked out well.
20. Brad Stuart kept pulling pucks off of the goal line and saving goals. He seems to have a knack for that.
21. The Wings held Alex Ovechkin to zero shots and still managed to find a way to lose the game.
22. Patrick Eaves got into a fight. It was awesome. Brad May should take note.
23. Speaking of May, he and Leino continued to battle it out for a seat in the press box.
24. Ozzie ran his mouth about not getting enough playing time and annoyed everyone.
25. The powerplay continued to be pathetic. There’s no excuse for that now that guys have returned to the lineup. None at all.
26. The team continued to suffer from the same confidence issues that you would expect to encounter on a Girls U10 soccer team.
27. Abdelkader got sent back down to Grand Rapids to make room for the returning Jason Williams (Who?).
28. The TwitforTuzzi campaign was launched to achieve dual goals of raising more money for Children’s Hospital and embarrassing Petrella.
29. Patrick Eaves continued to endear himself to Wings fans everywhere. I don’t think there are many of us out there who aren’t hoping that he gets another deal during the offseason.
30. The Wings managed to get shut out for the seventh time this season.
31. Datsyuk started to awaken from his season-long slumber. He was playing classic Datsyukian hockey during the second half of the month.

Red Wings 1, Penguins 2 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• The shootout was disappointing for sure, but let’s not kid ourselves…the Wings were lucky to get a point today. The first 40 minutes of the game were far more disappointing than anything we saw in the skills competition.
• I’ve decided to stop trying to understand this team’s inability/unwillingness to show up for games. Instead of driving myself crazy trying to figure it out, I’m just going to accept it for what it is.
• I had a Qdoba burrito for brunch today. I didn’t realize the irony until I was halfway through eating it. Does Bylsma still do that before every game? It can’t be good for his waistline.
• Pierre McGuire kept saying that the game was being played with playoff intensity. He was either watching a different game or only referring to the Penguins.
• It was nice of the Wings to wake up in time for the third.
• Thank goodness Jimmy Howard brought his A-game today. Otherwise, the score could’ve been ugly. He got some help from the posts, crossbar, and some near-misses by the Penguins, but he’s the one and only reason the Wings skated away with a point today.
• Every time the third line takes a shift, I fall in love.
• Filppula missed a couple of glorious chances. It made me sad.
  
• Why would you send Jason Williams (Who?) out in the shootout before Zetterberg? I know Z’s not the greatest in shootouts, but Williams didn’t even appear to try. He shot it directly into MAF’s glove. He didn’t even have to move it to make the save. I would’ve sent Filppula out before him too, for that matter.
• Great job everyone over at the Winging it in Motown fundraiser. It was a lot of fun, even though it was weird to see Twitter so quiet during the game.
  

GP Answers:
1. Are the Wings going to have some semblance of a defense? The kind of game they played Friday night isn’t going to fly against the Penguins.
The turnovers weren’t as much of a problem today as they were on Friday. The Wings’ main issue was a complete and utter inability to play hockey for most of the game.

2. How long is it going to take for NBC’s broadcast to make Wings fans want to off themselves? Between missed goals and Crosby worship, this game is going to be filled with goodies for all of us.
I don’t think they even made it to the opening faceoff before we were all ready to mute our TVs. At least we didn’t miss any goals this time around.

3. I wrote about the powerplay sarcastically on Friday, and the Wings made me look silly by converting two of them, and scoring just three seconds after another one. Can they make that a trend so that powerplay success becomes the norm again instead of an exception?
No. They even had a powerplay chance to end overtime and couldn’t convert. That needs to get fixed. Soon.

4. The first line has been acting like a first line lately. You’d like to think that they would show up for a game like this. Will we see the brilliance from the Eurotwins that we’re accustomed to in big games?
Datsyuk and Zetterberg were the Wings’ best forwards all game, not that it took much to stand out today for most of the game.

5. The Wings got passed in the standings again. Petty desires for revenge or retribution for us fans don’t really matter anymore. The Wings need to win this one to jump back into the 8-spot. Can they do it?
Well, no. They’re now tied with Calgary point-wise, but are still in 9th place because they lose the tiebreaker.

6. I hate wondering if the Wings are going to show up before every single game. It’s been a valid question for all of this season, though. What kind of effort are we going to see from the whole team?
Hahahahaha. Don’t even get me started. It’s disgusting, it’s frustrating, it’s appalling, it’s disheartening, etc, etc, etc.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Jimmy Howard
I have this secret hope that Jimmy walked into the locker room after the game and beat every single one of his teammates with his goal stick while screaming incoherently. I’m sure that didn’t happen, but it has to be annoying to consistently be the only one showing up for games.

Darren Helm gets the Golden Facepalm
I love the guy, but you just can’t leave Sidney Crosby wide open like that. This really could’ve gone to a number of guys, though.

What I Learned:
The Office is NBC’s only redeeming quality.

Red Wings 4, Predators 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I missed the first half of the first period, so I have no idea what happened then. I made it back in time to see the Wings’ first goal, so I guess I didn’t miss anything of great importance.
• Before they scored their first goal, the Wings missed two glorious chances. I would’ve been upset about it if they hadn’t buried one almost immediately afterward.
• Brad Stuart scooped another sure goal right off of the Wings’ goal line tonight. He seems to have a knack for that.
• The first part of the third period was weak. I used to like the good old days when I could relax with a two-goal lead in the third period because I had a reasonable expectation that things would turn out well. Instead, the Wings let the Preds narrow their lead to one goal and sat back and let them walk all over them for several minutes.
• Lidstrom scored again. Watch out, world.
• Jimmy Howard was either shaky or brilliant tonight. I can’t decide. He made some huge saves, but he also got a ridiculous amount of help from the goal posts. Maybe that was his strategy…I don’t know. He got hung out to dry by the defense on numerous occasions, though, and came up big.
• The Wings were lucky to come away with two points from this one. They really didn’t deserve to win. They had far too many turnovers and several times they appeared to attempt to hand goals to Nashville. However, the Preds’ many goal posts, crossbars, and near-misses on their glorious opportunities seem to indicate that they didn’t deserve to win either. Someone had to take the points home though, and I’m glad it was the Wings.
• When Rafalski took that penalty with 1:35 left in the third period, I began having flashbacks to the Phoenix game. Luckily, this one had a happier ending.
• When Zetterberg’s goal went to review, I began arming myself with things to throw at the TV. I was just waiting for them to wave off the goal. Even after watching the replay with my own eyes, I was holding my breath to hear the call. The Wings seem to have a special talent for finding ways to get screwed by reviewed goals, so I was pretty excited/mildly surprised when they let the goal stand.
• The bottom line is that the Wings skated away with two points tonight. it wasn’t necessarily pretty at times, but they needed to get the job done tonight, and they managed to find a way to do so..
  

GP Answers:
1. The top line’s been dynamite since Cleary got moved up. I kept trying to explain to my brother why moving Bertuzzi down was a good move, but he won’t believe me. Can the top line keep rolling?
I’ll go with a yes on this one. It’s nice to see the stars stepping up and acting like stars for a change.

2. The Kings have climbed the standings from 8th place to 5th in just a few short days. Why can’t the Wings do that too?
Well, they picked up two points tonight, and they did it in regulation. They’re now in 8th place since Nashville has more wins than they do. There’s a 5-game roadtrip coming up, and now’s as good a time as any to start making a run.

3. The PK’s been slipping lately, and the powerplay still isn’t doing much good. At some point, the special teams are going to, you know, be special, right?
The Wings scored two real, live powerplay goals tonight, and a third one was buried just three seconds after the expiration of one. That’s what the Wings need to keep doing.

4. Are the Wings even going to look like they care?
There were far too many turnovers and sloppy plays in their own zone. I did notice, however, that on the final penalty kill, the Wings looked incredibly determined to keep the puck out of the net. Nashville was pressuring, but the Wings were blocking shots and disrupting plays all over the place. It was nice to see, and I hope that effort can carry over to the next game.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Drew Miller
He made the first deflection on the Wings’ first goal, and then buried a nice one of his own later on in the game. I don’t know how the cap and roster space will work out for the Wings, but I really hope they find a way to keep Miller.

An Extra Stick Tap for Jason Williams (Who?)
I don’t think anyone expected him to score in his first game back. Especially me, since I completely forgot that he was returning to the lineup tonight. I didn’t really notice him doing much else during the game, but it was a good way to remind people of his existence.

Jonathan Ericsson gets the Golden Facepalm
Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. He wasn’t the only one, but it seemed like every time he had the puck, it ended up on a Nashville player’s stick.

What I Learned:
The Wings can actually hold onto a lead sometimes.

Good News (Yes, You Read that Correctly)...

As I’m sure you know by now, Niklas Kronwall is slated for a return to the lineup tomorrow. This is huge for the Wings. His presence should have a trickle-down effect on all of the defensive pairings, as well as the offense. Having him in the lineup allows us to rid ourselves of either Lebda or Meech. My money’s on Meech sitting because Lebda occasionally has flashes of brilliance in which he appears to be a real, live NHL defenseman. Granted, they’re few and far between, but they do exist. Meech just goes out there and skates around and does…I don’t really know. He should be an evangelical preacher because every time he sets foot on the ice, a million Wings fans start praying. Stuart and Kronwall were dynamite together before Georges Laraque saw fit to remove him from the Wings’ lineup, and his presence may help settle Stuart down after a rough patch. He’s also been sorely missed on the powerplay over the last couple of months. I have no idea what the Wings’ percentage is since the beginning of November, but it has to be close to single digits. How excited are you for a powerplay unit that doesn’t feature Derek Meech?

I was also surprised to hear that Andreas Lilja is potentially nearing a return. A couple of days ago, Mickey Redmond mentioned that he was close to returning, but I think we fans universally wrote that off as crazy talk. This impression was confirmed when Ken Holland said that nothing had changed regarding Lilja’s status. Lo and behold today, though, Lilja said that he had gone 13 straight days without a headache. Should he reach that elusive 14-day mark, he could potentially be cleared to play. (On a side note, we’re coming up on 11 months since his concussion. Can you imagine how rotten of a mood you’d be in if you’d been having almost constant headaches for that long? I’m pretty sure even my dog would’ve stopped liking me by now.) This would be another huge step for the defense because it would mean that a) we would also be rid of Lebda and b) Jonathan Ericsson could be paired with a more experienced defenseman who he could potentially learn something (good) from. I’ve been a critic of Lilja in the past, but he was looking pretty solid last season before he broke his head, and at any rate, he has to be better than Lebda.

On top of all this, Jason Williams is nearing a return to the lineup, Tomas Holmstrom is hoping to be back soon, and Johan Franzen is considering a miraculous pre-Olympic break return. I’d probably prefer that he wait until after the break because it’s basically two weeks of free rehab for him and there’s no sense rushing him back. I have no idea what this means for the salary cap, but I'll leave that to smarter folks to figure out.

If I were a member of another Western Conference organization, I’d be looking over my shoulder right about now. The Wings have been hanging in there on the periphery of the playoff race like some kind of zombie that you just can’t kill. Now that they’re finally getting healthy, I can’t imagine that the other teams in the West are thrilled about the idea of the Wings creeping up behind them.

We have a little less than three weeks until the Olympic break. A lot can happen in that amount of time. Let’s hope they’re good things. Also, it’s unbelievably fun to be writing about happy news for a change. All this excitement has put me in a pretty good mood. I’m starting to feel a strange sensation that may in seasons past have been called optimism.

Random semi-hockey related quote of the day:
My dad, while assessing the swelling on my newly-sprained ankle: “Just be glad you’re not a hockey player so you don’t have to worry about fitting it into a skate so you can go back out and play.”

2009 in Five Minutes or Less...

January

The Winter Classic happened. Without that crucial 16th playoff victory, this game stands out as the highlight of the season. My brother and I requested off of work two months in advance to make sure we weren’t scheduled during the game. I skipped my cousin’s birthday gathering to stay home and watch. It was everything it was cracked up to be. Pavel Datsyuk scored on a wind-aided breakaway. Henrik Zetterberg wore eye black. The Wings showed the Blackhawks that they were still in charge of the Central. The weather was glorious and it made me nostalgic for the childhood pond hockey that I never played. Chris Osgood made a “mastodonic glove grab,” which is a phrase we still have not interpreted. Later on in the month, Datsyuk and Lidstrom were handed quasi-suspensions for electing not to fly to Montreal and shake hands with rich people. During his suspension, Datsyuk gave this now classic interview that accounts for half of the title of this blog. The Wings lost that game, which was incredibly disappointing to me because I really wanted them to skate defiantly to victory despite being wrongfully deprived of two of their superstars. With heroic background music and soaring banners to boot. None of this happened.

February

Andreas Lilja got into a fight and busted a vein in his head. He hasn’t played a game since. I’m all for fighting, but I could’ve done without that one.

March

What happened in March? Nothing ever happens in March. Why does this month even exist?

April

The Wings swept the Blue Jackets in the first round of the playoffs, thus ending Columbus' first ever post-season appearance. Chris Osgood suddenly awoke from his regular season slumber and surprised more than a few of us.

May

(No, not Brad.)

Things were looking good in May. The general consensus was that whoever survived the Wings-Ducks series was going to be the eventual Cup winner. Unfortunately, we all know how things worked out in the end. We did, however, get to witness the Goal that Wasn’t, which left my brother and me screaming and chucking dog toys at the floor of our family room in the middle of the night. After the first of the two Game 7s we had to endure, the Wings faced Chicago. I attended my first ever playoff game, thus checking that off of my life list. The Hawks made fools of themselves at some point, Johan Franzen stole Patrick Kane's mouthguard, and Niklas Kronwall annihilated Martin Havlat. Oh, and I found this humble little corner of the internet where I could spew my random ranting and raving.

June

(That's the Summer Solstice for those of you who failed astronomy class.)

I think it’s best if we just pretend that June never happened.

July

Free agency and the destructive forces of the salary cap finally arrived on our doorsteps as Marian Hossa, Tomas Kopecky, Mikael Samuelsson, and Jiri Hudler skated away with approximately 792 goals. Hudler left for Russia and the NHL decided to use his case to take a stand against the KHL. This left the Wings in limbo until the situation was resolved…and all of the desirable free agents were off the market. Oh, and Ken Holland re-signed some dude named Ville Leino. He must be having work visa issues or something because I still haven't noticed him on the ice.

August

(Why is there a cake, you ask? Well, my birthday is clearly the only important August occurrence.)

Kenny Holland was finally able to venture into the free agent market and landed Patrick Eaves, Jason Williams, and Todd Bertuzzi. I was happy about exactly one of those signings. I spent a great deal of time bored out of my mind, and counting down the days until hockey season started up again.

September

September means training camp, one of the most exciting times of the year for hockey fans (you know, after the playoffs, and the playoff races, and the actual start of the regular season, and...well, I was excited about it). There was the promise of a new season filled with angry Wings out to avenge their heart-breaking loss in Game 7 of the Finals. Instead, Henrik Zetterberg, Dan Cleary, Todd Bertuzzi, and Darren Helm (Am I missing anyone here? These are all starting to blur together.) sat out the majority of training camp and the pre-season with various injuries, thus signifying the beginning of the injury epidemic that continues to plague the Wings.

October

October brought with it the always-exciting return of real, meaningful hockey games. The Wings opened the season in Sweden and came back with exactly zero points. It was epic. Johan Franzen busted his knee, which effectively eliminated him from the majority of the NHL season as well as the Olympics. The news of that injury broke on my brother’s birthday (the one with the mancrush on Franzen), thus ruining the entire age of 19 for him. Other people got hurt, the Wings continued to struggle, and the citizens of Hockeytown began to collectively pull their hair out.

November

Jason Williams’ leg snapped in a way that made even the most steely among us shudder. Steve Yzerman fulfilled his destiny by being inducted into the Hall of Fame. The Wings scored 19 goals over a span of 3 games and we thought that all was right with the world. We even got our first taste of the long-awaited free Arby’s. Dennis LaRue intended to blow his whistle and we were subsequently accused of wearing tin foil hats. Niklas Kronwall joined the legion of injured Wings after a dirty knee-on-knee hit from Georges Laraque. The Wings also went approximately ten years between goals at one point. Oh, and I kind of got to meet Stevie Y at the Joe. So that was nice.

December

The Wings continued to struggle offensively (except for Todd Bertuzzi...more on that later) and got shut out at least 97 times during the month. They also continued my favorite 2009 trend (injuries) as they lost Dan Cleary, Jonathan Ericsson, and Henrik Zetterberg to various ailments. We fans started a podcast and launched a campaign to bring Guilherme to Hockeytown to see a game. We also photoshopped hair onto Brian Rafalski’s head (please reference the podcast). I lost touch with hockey for a week while I was on vacation, and am still pretending that the two losses and Zetterberg’s injury that occurred in my absence didn’t happen. Valtteri Filppula made his long-awaited return to the lineup right after Christmas, and Todd Bertuzzi went on a scoring tear that has just about everyone jumping on his bandwagon. No really, he's the only Wing to have scored in the last four games. Ville Leino accomplished the seemingly impossible feat of playing himself right out of the injury-riddled lineup. You know the hair pulling that started in October? Well, all of Hockeytown is now completely bald (Or is that just me?)--from the stress, not in homage to Rafalski. Our hopes have changed from wanting to see the boys win games to just praying for them to score a single goal. The Wings are limping toward the New Year, and we're looking at the promise of returning players in January as the light at the end of the tunnel of this less-than-stellar year in Hockeytown.