Thursday, January 7, 2010

Memo From the Hockey Gods...

Hello, readers. When I sat down to check my email on this fine, snowy evening, I was intrigued by a message from an anonymous sender. Normally, I would have banished it straight to the spam folder, but something compelled me to open the message. And boy, was I ever glad that I did. You see, it contained a memo from the Hockey Gods to Wings fans everywhere. For some reason, I was asked to distribute it to you fine folks. I don’t even want to think about what the consequences of not opening that email would have been. Anyway, here it is in its entirety. Be warned, some may find the following material disturbing. Proceed at your own discretion.
Hey there, Wings fan. Did you wake up feeling bright and cheery at the prospect of Zetterberg and Cleary returning to the lineup tonight? Bet you thought we were finally letting up on you guys what with getting your boy Filppula back a couple of weeks ago and Kronwall and Ericsson getting ready to reinforce the defense soon. You probably had a big, stupid grin on your face this morning because you were sure that tonight marked the beginning of the end for the injury plague we’ve inflicted upon your team, right? Yeah? Well, suck on this, you hoser.

The Hockey Gods
I warned you. It chilled me right to the bone. Not only that, but we've gone from guys getting injured in games to getting injured in practice. Next thing you know, someone's going to pull a Brandon Inge and hurt himself fluffing his kid's pillow or something.


  1. Back injury due to cracker, ala Brent Sopel.

    Funniest oddball sports injury EVER. :D

  2. Also that "Lololololol" leads me to a question: Are the hockey gods retarded?