Friday, December 3, 2010

Operation Curly Fries...

The boys from TPL have been hard at work on Operation Curly fries for the last couple weeks. These noble warriors have convinced Arby's and FSD to put the hat trick giveaway to a vote. It's come down to a fight to the death between our beloved curly fries and the treacherous junior roast beef sandwich. Voting was going well at first, as the fries had a significant lead. However, as the night has gone on, the JRBS has slowly been gaining.

I know you might look at the poll results right now and think that all hope is lost, but we cannot stand for this, Wings fans! Our will is strong and our cause is just and we shall prevail. Someday, many years from now, our grandchildren will sing heroic folk ballads about this great struggle in which we now find ourselves mired. Monuments will be erected, bank holidays will be established, and, if we're really lucky, there might even be some fireworks in our honor. This triumph shall go down in the annals of Red Wings lore to be celebrated by generations of Wings fans to come. We are facing a turning point in history and the fates of billions of Wings fans rest in our hands. This is bigger than any one of us. We must. Keep. Voting.

Should your confidence waver as we fight so righteously for the one, true hat trick celebration food to be returned to us, look no further than this annotated list of inspirational quotes from some of history's greatest minds. Stay strong, Wings fans. We shall conquer.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” 
- Thomas Paine
This dude knows what he's talking about. Sure, he was probably referring to lofty ideas like freedom and liberty, but our curly fry battle is no laughing matter.

“Every time we think we've measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard; we will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars.”
- President Bartlet on The West Wing
Just because he's a fictional Commander in Chief doesn't mean that President Bartlet doesn't know what he's talking about. This is a time for American heroes. This battle is not easy, but the results will be well worth the effort.

"Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts." 
- Coleman Cox
Confession: This one's really only on this list because I've never talked about woodpeckers here at SSDD and I felt like that needed to change.

“There is nothing in life so difficult that it cannot be overcome. This faith can move mountains. It can change people. It can change the world.”
- Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
Do you hear that? We're changing the world one curly fry at a time.

"Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did. On the contrary, if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and will regret it all your life."
- Abraham Lincoln
Listen to old Abe here. He knows what's up. Do you want to regret not voting for curly fries for the rest of your life? Think about that: the rest of your life? I, for one, sure wouldn't want to be living out my days with that kind of weight on my shoulders.

When the story of these times gets written, we want it to say that we did all we could, and it was more than anyone could have imagined.
- Bono
I bet a lot of people thought this was a joke that was going nowhere when Operation Curly Fries began. Look where we are now.

“If you don't vote for curly fries, you're either a puppy-kicker or Gary Bettman.”
- Kris from SSDD
Woah, that's deep. She must be a pretty smart chick.

"History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed."
- B.C. Forbes
If there's a phrase that should be associated with the Wings and their fans, I would think that “notable winners” would be it. Don't let the existence of JRBSs (are they related to ROUSs?) break your heart. This is just a test.

“There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.”
- Unknown
Hopefully at least enough to work off the calories of the delicious curly fries we're working to get.

"The characteristic of a genuine heroism is its persistency. All men have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when you have resolved to be great, abide by yourself, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world. The heroic cannot be the common, nor the common the heroic."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have indeed resolved to be great. Don't settle for a JRBS in place of delicious curly fries. Arby's curly fries are unique; they are pinnacles of excellent flavor. Wings fans deserve so much more than the mundane roast beef the fast food chain in currently offering.

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
- Albert Einstein
I'm guessing Albert is talking about Pens fans, but I guess it could apply to any of the haters and trolls out there.

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”
- Ayn Rand
The hat trick giveaway that we desire can be won. Curly fries are ours for the taking. All you have to do is keep voting.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”
- Anne Bradstreet
I bet you took your free curly fries for granted last season. It wasn't until they were unceremoniously snatched away from us like a kidnapped baby in the night that you realized how truly delicious they were. This struggle will make the eventual curly fries that we get from Arby's that much tastier.

"A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose - a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve."
- John Maxwell
Have no fear, Wings fans. I can assure you that this battle has a purpose. Our goal is achievable if we just stay strong and endure the continued existence of free JRBSs for just a few more days.

“Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole, clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve!”
- Andrew Carnegie
I'm guessing this was a passage read at Steve Yzerman's baptism, but it works just as well here. Yes, life will be glorious once we have been declared victorious. Also, things will probably rhyme more. Double win!

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek."
- Mario Andretti
We do indeed need an unrelenting pursuit of our goal. We can't drop the ball on this, kids. Too much work has gone into making this grassroots effort a reality. Success is our only option.

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
- Walt Disney
Yeah, a JRBS would kick you in the teeth. They're like that. Things may look tough now, but we'll come out of this stronger and better for having faced down the challenge.

There you go. If those great minds can't keep you motivated to keep refreshing your page and voting for curly fries, I don't know what will. Real life may have to take a backseat to this for a while, but it will be worth it in the end*. Your friends and family will understand.

*Some negative consequences such as unemployment, your spouse leaving, your children starving, your goldfish being eaten by your cat, your cat choking on the goldfish, WWIII, or Justin Bieber music being downloaded onto your ipod may result from neglecting your real life to vote for curly fries. Kris cannot be held responsible for any of these occurences. Proceed at your own risk—if you want to be a true hero, you're going to have to live through some danger. Time to cowboy up.

No comments:

Post a Comment